Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Does DC attend his/her IEP meeting?

At what age did DC start attending his/her IEP meeting? What was gained?

Students have a right to attend beginning at age 14, but parents may allow them to attend before that. Speaking from the perspective of a professional IEP team member, I feel strongly that the majority of 14+ year-old students should attend their own IEP meetings, as they need to understand their learning needs and strengths better than any of the adults in the room, as they will have to live with them their whole lives. From the standpoint of self-advocacy, it is also crucial that they begin to have opportunities to understand their own most effective compensatory strategies and accommodations, so that they can make educational, career, and life choices for themselves that suit their profiles, and speak up with confidence when accommodations are not provided by their environment.

I think it may be a very uncomfortable/intimidating situation for some kids depending on how big the meeting is and who is there. We have had IEP meetings with 10 people and some of them are not involved in any of the day to day they may but administrators, someone just involved in an eval, etc. It's very uncomfortable even for me, when the discussion isn't about me. I can't imagine being in room at age 14 where 10 people that you barely know are staring at you and discussing how well you are or are not functioning including personal details of your life or diagnosis. In a smaller meeting with just a teacher and case manager and maybe on or two other people having the student there seems more reasonable. I would probably just try to eliminate as many people as possible from meetings when the child is at the age when they should hear what is said.

That's a good point. In a high school, the team members are usually adults the student has had interactions with before, such as the case manager, one general ed teacher representative, the guidance counselor, and any direct service providers or evaluators. In an elementary school, they may not have met some of the team members, or may have encountered them only at a distance.

Not every meeting has multiple (or any) administrators involved in it, either, though complex or contentious cases are more likely to.

The bottom line is, you know your child best. If s/he has something specific to say, or wants to be present, then I would seriously consider it. You may also have them come in for just the end of the meeting (or some other specified time), when the part of the discussion of particular interest is occurring.

I just had my son's gifted plan meeting, an EP, and he declined his invitation because he would have to miss an AP class to go. He could have said, that a specific period was better for him and the school would have had to honor his wish to attend, but he was all whatever the gifted program is a joke.

We will need to meet on his 504 plan soon. Not sure how he feels about attending that. I honestly think he might not need it anymore but I just hate to lose the extended time for the random times he does need it. He has gone from needing accommodations on a daily basis, to weekly, to about once a nine weeks.

My high schooler is on the debate team, so I think he will consider the team listening to him rather than staring him down. The pros might include DS explaining why he cannot get his thoughts on paper, but being very verbally articulate at the same time. Why he needs a MacBook and an iPad in class. Why he can do anything at night, but his homework until 11pm. Why just being sent to the school library is not proper remediation.

For my middle schooler? Perhaps some of the time he should be in the waiting room, but he needs to speak to the IEP team. DS school needs to knock it off with the punitive removal of gym and recess. DS needs to explain what his needs and wants are. DS school does not attend the IEP meeting. His school phones in. What is actually happening gets lost in the paper work. I think the meeting will be really validating for DS.

I agree that it depends on the child. At least with my large district, IEP meetings can be an assembly line. As far as my district is concerned, classification entitles you to X, Y and Z. I feel if DS attends his meeting his unique needs will be brought back to the discussion. At least I hope.

DD started attending her meetings at about 10, I think. At first, we had the main part of the meeting without her, and then called her in to discuss plans and get her input. Now she is generally there for the whole thing, although often mentally checked out for some or all of it.

In our district it's required starting in high school (9th grade, typically 14 years old). When students are in upper elementary/middle school I think it can be worthwhile, but otoh, it depends on the attitude of the IEP team - if the attitude is positive and student-focused, I would have my child attend. If it's a negative or combative attitude, where parents are having to fight to get services etc, then I wouldn't have my child attend - we were in a combative situation with our ds' IEP team in upper elementary, and he was already feeling that combativeness and it's impact in the classroom - letting him see it up close and personal in the team meeting would not only not have helped with things, it would have reinforced the feeling he was receiving from the school that he didn't "really" have a disability but was lazy, as well as reinforcing that the school did not want to help him.

OTOH, had it been a positive supportive environment I would have included him. Talking about his disability in and of itself was never an issue - he didn't like that he has a disability, but he still had it, so talking about it, brainstorming ways to accommodate, getting his input into what helped and didn't help in the classroom, was valuable. I was taking providing a lot of that input at the meetings - having him there to back up what I was attempting to communicate would have been helpful. We did have large meetings with people that ds might not have known, but the way the meetings were run required each participant to introduce themselves, explain who they were and explain why they were included in the meeting. In a positive environment, I think that would have been a positive experience for my ds, just to see who was involved in making decisions about the IEP and how they were involved.

My ds is in high school and has a 504 plan now. He isn't fond of attending his 504 meetings, but only because it's something he has to do that takes time, not because of anything that happens at the meeting. It's been a good experience to have him attend because he sees that not all of his teachers understand why he uses accommodations, and that's good info to have even if it's uncomfortable info. Also as our kids grow thru their teen years, the responsibility shifts from having parents advocate for them to self-advocacy - this happens not only with accommodations etc for disabilities, it happens with routine situations throughout their lives, so unless there's a compelling reason not to include a high school student in their meetings, I would include them.

Best wishes,

polarbear

So, so awesome spaghetti! Your DS is an inspiration.

My DD started requesting to attend meetings in 4th grade because she was convinced "adults make decisions and keep things secret from kids." After a handful of meetings - parent/teacher conferences not IEP meetings - she decided she didn't need or want to attend anymore. I always invited her but she didn't feel it was necessary. Instead she was comfortable giving me her input and questions.

Then this year - 6th grade - she had a couple of incidents where she thought her IEP wasn't being followed and adults in various capacities were behaving inappropriately. She decided she wanted to attend her next IEP meeting because "I want to know exactly what is or isn't in my IEP so I can hold people accountable." She attended a meeting in the fall and was masterful. One of my proudest moments as a parent. She was eloquent and forceful while remaining polite and determined. Everyone in the room was astounded. Very few adults are able to conduct themselves so well let alone an 11 year old child. It put an end to any arguments from the school team that DD had to "learn to self advocate." It also ended speculation that perhaps I was exaggerating her abilities or what was going awry. There were 15 people at the meeting. DD wasn't intimidated in the least.

As of now she wants to continue being an active participant. I can only hope she can be as effective as spaghetti's DS. Bravo!

my rule, if the school is going to fight, we don't want kids there.