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2e DS9 attends a small Montessori. He has an individualized curriculum, 10 classmates and two teachers. He like school and learns a lot.

Next year his two best school friends are moving to public middle school. DS9 will only be entering fourth grade but wants to leave too since the rest of the students will be younger or girls. He wants to go to public school where he has more friends.

We are not sure what to do.

Pros of staying: learns a lot, no hassles, easy to get accommodations, it is what we know

Cons of staying: DS doesn't want to stay, they might accomodate too much (oral answers over real effort at AT), it is really not good prep for the big classes, busy hallways, multiple teachers of middle school

Pros of trying public: accommodations get addressed in elementary with one teacher instead of our first effort being multiple teachers in middle school, more friends, free

Cons of trying public: DH and I have demanding careers. We won't deal well with calls about behavior issues related to poor fit.

I'd appreciate any input.

Contact the public school and arrange to have him shadow for a day.

In arranging to have him shadow for a day, mention his 2e, what supports have helped him so far, and that he would need an IEP/504.

Be sure the public school understands that he has fit in well and excelled in his Montessori learning environment, and you are looking for a successful transition to the larger, more highly populated school.

Being proactive on these measures may decrease the likelihood of poor behavior in the new learning environment.

Just my opinion and I'm not trying to be insulting, but appears Montessori school makes life easier for you. Indigo's advice seems spot on. From your post it appears he will have to go to public school eventually anyways. As to phone calls and emails from schools that just part of being a parent.

No offense taken. We don't have problems at all with being involved in the kids' school and currently work with their teachers a lot addressing any issues that arise.

We had a bad year when DS9 was a preschooler. He has LDs and some medical issues that had not been evaluated / fully figured out at the time. We knew he wasn't a bad kid but his teacher took his inability to do certain tasks has defiance and nearly every day would send home a note about him being "bad". I think she wanted him out of her class and it worked. We pulled him and he stayed home for a year. Some of his issues were identified during the year off and he started there again with a different teacher and OT which helped a lot.

The school saw the difference even simple accommodations made for him and we have all had a great working relationship since.

The year of preschool with the bad teacher scarred us a bit.

We are reluctant to "start over" with a new school and face the stress of advocating when the status quo is mostly great.

Being left behind with younger kids and girls is a valid concern. What grade does middle school start where you are?

Middle school starts at sixth.

Part of what is making this difficult is that this is the school with the awesome curriculum in his favorite subjects history, science and reading.

This is a post from back at the beginning of school:

"For science they're studying biomes, ecology, food webs, and animal classification. Lots of really interesting projects DS is already excited about. There are built in expansion activities for kids who want to go further in a topic for every lesson.

In history the first semester will cover our state and includes the history of the local tribes. The second semester is civics covering all forms of government - past and present.

They're doing campaigns and elections, mock trials, writing stories, making movies and maps and going on lots of field trips.

.... For example for just part of what they're doing on totalitarianism, they're covering Stalin's rise to power, reading the short story The Composition by Antonio Skarmeta and discussing how life would be different for the characters in the USA and reading and discussing Ray Bradbury's The Pedestrian. It is a mix of past, present, and a dystopian future."

DH wants him to stay at the Montessori. His main points are: 1) awesome curriculum, and 2) good relationship with staff. He points out DS has many same age friends outside of school already and a very busy social calendar of sleepovers and parties. He thinks DS's gifted needs are met best at this school and that we can deal with middle school when it is time for middle school. And that if he needs to work more on writing with his iPad (which he isn't convinced of), he could do it at the Montessori where there's a 5:1 student teacher ratio.

I am interested in him trying public school. My main points are: 1) He doesn't want to be at the Montessori with the girls and younger boys which is understandable, 2) the public school has professionals that could help with the his LDs, 3) we'd start getting accommodations in place at an easier age so they'd grow with him rather than trying to figure it out in middle school when he might be resistant and implementation might be more difficult. I think we could after school the gifted side.

Both you and your partner have some points I can appreciate. Two thoughts:

1. You still have another year to discuss before middle school actually hits. (4th and 5th)

2. Regardless of your decision regarding placement for next year, I would suggest that you request an initial evaluation by the public school well before the planned transition, so that,
- you find out now what kind of eligibility and services they would offer, and what you will have to negotiate.
- the special education documentation is already in place, before he enters public.

Otherwise, you may find yourself slogging through the due process timelines for a good half year before he gets any accommodations. In many districts, the school will be reluctant to begin an eval on day one of school, when he's never been in a traditional classroom before. If they have RTI mandates, then they will want at least 8 weeks to take baseline and intervention data, before the special ed process starts. If you are in a state where you can circumvent RTI, due process still allows the district at least two months from your signature consenting to evaluation to complete the process.

If you start the process now, you should have a finding (eligible-IEP, eligible-504, not eligible) well in advance of his placement in public school. Even if you choose not to accept the offered services at this time, the finding of eligibility will remain on the record, and will likely make re-opening the process much easier. If you want your own evaluator's data to be included in the record, then you may either obtain private results first and submit them with the request for initial evaluation (the district will likely want to do its own supplementary testing, but at least they won't invalidate your private testing, since it will have been done first, and they'll know what tests have been given already, anyway; there is also a chance that they will simply accept your private testing data--though not necessarily its recommendations), or have the school testing done first, and then request an IEE if you don't feel comfortable with the results. The first option gives you more control, and gives your private psych first crack at the preferred tests. The second option costs less, and may prevent unnecessary duplicate testing (if you end up being satisfied with district testing, and not needing the IEE).

Asking for an initial eval, and then declining services at this time is not, btw, an unreasonable choice, as you have no way of knowing what the best educational option for your child is until you know what each one looks like. And best option will look different when he ages out of the Montessori. If you do go through this process, only to decline an IEP at this time, make sure to let public school personnel know that your plan is to return to the district when he runs out of grades at the private. It is also possible that the district will offer you related services, such as AT consult, or even before or after school OT, that are compatible with continuing in his private school, which would establish the record for special education while at the Montessori, making the special ed transition into public middle a bit smoother.

Thanks so for the information. I have just referred him for testing for the gifted program next year and included his private evaluation (done when he was 6) and a request for test accommodations in my referral letter. I also included the accommodations he currently receives in class. I should hear back about the test schedule soon.

Our district does a few self contained gifted classrooms at one school or the parent can opt for enrichment type services at their local school. I'm not sure which way we'd go if he qualifies. Our local public school is much smaller than the one with the self contained classrooms (300 vs. 1000 students) and according to my teacher friends has a better school psychologist and OT team.

I'm curious how they'll respond to his evaluation. I'm not sure what they usually look like but DS' is over 30 pages. He saw Brock and Fernette Eide and they are very thorough.

Just a few random thoughts -

Is this a situation that only has 2 solutions? I'm not sure if you're in the Seattle area, but wondering if you are since you tested with the Eides. If you are in a large metropolitan area, it's possible there may be more than this one private school choice vs your local public school option.

Next though - if you stay at the Montessori school, I'd work toward getting the accommodations he needs in place now rather than looking at the transition to public school as the place that accommodations come into play. It's great that his Montessori is providing scribing, but he also needs to work toward being able to write independently, so it's time for him to be keyboarding or using voice-to-text or whatever accommodations are appropriate. You most likely have a road map for accommodations as the years progress from his evaluation plus a sense of what will work from having parented him, so whether he's in public or private, get him moving forward with the accommodations he needs.

While I agree with your dh that the curriculum sounds wonderful at the Montessori, I'd also point out that there is more to a curriculum than what is studied. Project work as an individual isn't the same as project work in a classroom where there are additional students to group with (and where groups can change). Being able to discuss what is learned with a group of students rather than just the teacher opens up the world of considering other points of view. Having same-age peers during outside-of-school activities is great, but school is still the place that our children spend a huge proportion of their waking hours, so placing a child in a school where he's both the oldest student and also doesn't really want to be is something to really consider - is he going to be happy enough to really benefit from a great curriculum or will he be unhappy there?

Last thing, which I'd really seriously think about - why are his friends leaving? Why aren't there students attending in the upper grade levels at the school? Is there something else at play that maybe you haven't considered in keeping him there?

Sorry for all the questions - please know I'm not questioning your decision one way or the other... those are just thoughts that came to mind.

Good luck with your decision - it's not easy finding a good educational fit!

Best wishes,

polarbear

Thanks polarbear, here are a few answers:

We live close enough to Seattle for weekend trips but too far for everyday school and work. We really don't have many options in our area except the two mentioned and a few very religious private schools.

I agree that if he stays or moves we need to implement more advanced more independent accommodations. Perhaps requesting AT help though the public school will be a good step so his current needs can be assessed.

His writing issues are not just dysgraphia based. He also has a genetic disorder that makes writing difficult. His wrists and fingers are extremely hypermobile. I am going to check with the doctor about what services are available through the children's hospital. When he was first diagnosed, he met with an OT and was fitted for a cool bike with training wheels. That was all done through the children's hospital so maybe they do AT type evaluations too. What's the breakdown on determining when something is medical versus educational? Maybe with the medical documentation we could avoid getting bogged down in RTI.

I also remembered we are friends with one of the middle school special education teachers. So if DS ends up staying with the Montessori, our friend would probably be happy to tutor DS to help make sure he is middle school ready with the AT if it seems like the Montessori is not implementing it well.

Ugh. Lots to consider.

As to why people are leaving...

There aren't a lot of people in the private school market here. Most people are reasonably satisfied with the public schools. And those that aren't, want Christian based education. This school is secular.

When kids that have been in it leave, it is usually because the family can't afford to have all their kids in it. Some leave when the gifted program starts (third grade), or when elementary ends and middle school begins.