Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy What is "successful"?

I am curious on the collective take on this question realizing there is not a "right" answer. I'm sure we've seen this discussed on these forums before but since it isn't a concrete concept I hope to have a bit of leave to discuss it anew since opinions and membership might've changed.

Is it power? Admiration? Money? If so, how much? Is a happy life a successful life?

Well, I think that most people really get stuck the admittedly open question as to whether the first step of a truly successful life means going to Princeton or Harvard for undergrad.

I've been mulling this over today. My list includes

Media literacy (or abstinence)
Financial literacy at any income level
Cultivating a sense of satisfaction
Cultivating meaningful social connections / relationships
Confidence in one's ability to overcome obstacles
Pursuing some form of creative or maker activity.

I have pondered this in terms of my hopes for my son ( and the skills I think he'll need to get there). My thoughts:

Long term relationships (friendship as well as romantic) marked by love, kindness, and respect.
In some way leaving the world better than when you found it. Doing some good for others.
Having passion, whether it is related to work or a hobby.
Having a skill that will allow some financial stability. This one is hard to define, because I do not mean wealthy is a goal, but I think some ability to financially ride out storms is desirable.

Here is my admittedly somewhat vicarious list:

Properly calibrated BS detectors
Sense of humour (and irony)
Acceptance that we live in an imperfect world
Possessing the skills required (and luck) to achieve a realistic level of self determination
Ability to self-regulate
Ability to find contentment from multiple sources
Having empathy and compassion (but knowing when not to make a casualty of oneself)

And when the time comes, having the luck to find a realistically compatible mate

Successful to me is
Having a PhD
Owning a home in an area I love
Having a decent car
Having a decent amount of savings
Being able to holiday comfortably
Having genuine friends who care about me
Working hard because I want to
Being happy in love
Having a career that I love
And, most importantly, raising my children to have the same successes, who are happy, and best friends.

Public perception of success:

Meet or exceed the potential: If you come from a family of doctors and engineers, people expect you to be someone like your family. If you become less than that, you would be a failure. But if you come from a family with no college education, being accepted to college is a success.

Personal perception of success:

Varies on personal goal. It might even change with age.

In my youth, I tied my success with the money. Now, I take one day at a time and if I make a difference in someone's life, it is a successful day.

Thank you madeinuk, that really hits it for me.

Not screwing up in personal life or professional life and having healthy relationships in both those areas.

Such a personal thing! I have friends who are musicians, mums, doctors, lawyers, farmers, bloggers, one who's a priest, one who's a dancer, etc, etc. The musicians would consider themselves successful if they could quit their day jobs and live out of music. The doctors and lawyers would like waterfront and boats. The priest doesn't care at all about financial stuff. But they would all agree that the thing that brings them the most happiness is the relationships they have with their nearest and dearest.