Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy activities/knowledge pursuits for young learners

I am brand new to this board, and I probably have over one hundred questions/concerns regarding raising my 5 year old son (so please excuse me if I ramble). This board seems to have plenty of parents and professionals who have dealt with similar children and issues, and i have enjoyed reviewing the advice throughout this forum.
My son is 5 1/2 years old in a standard kindergarten. We have not had his iq tested yet (the school is going to screen soon), but I am pretty confident that he is highly gifted (I haven't ruled out 2e, but pediatrician isn't concerned). He taught himself to read before 3, can multiply double digit numbers quickly in his head, and can memorize and retain massive amounts of information.
Since you have raised similar children, I am interested to know opinions on which activities or topics of study have given you the best returns. We have just followed and supported his interests to this point, but I would like to steer him towards areas that will be of greater future benefit. Are there areas (music, language, memory training, sports, etc.) where you feel your child gained outsized returns/benefits that help them be a better adult (use your own definitions of better here)?

Welcome!

IMO, letting the child lead, and actively supporting his interests (even when they are not your interests and areas of talent or expertise) will provide the best immediate and future benefits: the sense of internal locus of control... of owning and being responsible for his decisions and his learning. This becomes a quality of his character, and transcends academic subjects. Developing the skill to weigh pros/cons and identify opportunity costs is part of the process of decision making... and helps to build self-confidence and leadership.

Walking him through the decision making process and discussing your reasons for letting him choose among various options may also be helpful to reinforce both the power and the responsibility that comes with making a decision.

For my kids, who are naturally curious and always in search of learning, it was a matter of exposing them to opportunities and letting them select what they were interested in.

Staying active and being musically active were my only real goals. They both played multiple sports, multiple instruments, and I let them figure our when they wanted to winnow it down to what they really wanted to continue

We were fortunate to have a gifted education program at a local college, so weekend and summer weeks were always high on their radar to learn outside the standard advance curriculum.

If you go through the testing process, programs like Johns Hopkins CTY/SET, Duke's TIP, Davidson Young Scholars, etc., have specific services to provide advice, counseling, and identify opportunities that aren't always widely known.

Best returns? Music/instruments. Travel to expose them to global cultures. Breadth rather than acceleration (beyond 1 year) - Google The Calculus Trap for the general thinking. In addition to Game Theory, my DD13 is taking a course in Existentialism this summer (hopefully). Last year it was Java and Ethics.

We cannot predict the future our children will live in. My parents tried and it backfired.

They insisted that I was absolutely not allowed to take Japanese because they decided it would not be useful to me. I could only take French, Italian or Spanish. Guess what, not being able to read Japanese cost me a $400/hour gig and a lucrative book publishing opportunity. Thanks Mom and Dad.

They demanded I not go to dog training and dog grooming school, they were sure it was a financial mistake, that people don't work. Serendipitously, I ended up being a dog trainer and then later a dog groomer. It's a respectably-paying job which is in high demand.

The one language they insisted I couldn't use is the only one I needed. The only job they decided was not a good choice became my career.

We don't know how our kids will grow up, we can't plan for the economy and job environments that may work in.

With that perspective, I think the most important subjects and activities are those which promote wellbeing.

My son is 9, so I can't predict the long term outcome. For now, I've seen the most benefits from meditation, minimalism, comparative religion-history-philosophy, and music lessons.

These are just ideas that have worked with my son....

Chess (not competitive)
Musical instrument
Tried three sports, all dropped
Library.....feel like I spend all my time going back and forth.
Languages

Things that our DD enjoyed at that stage of readiness:-

Trips to the library
Trips to museums (we are very lucky to live about 60 miles away from both Philadelphia and NewYork)
Binoculars
Snap circuits
Singapore Maths - she tore through these
A cheap electronic camera
A kaleidoscope
A shrimp net
A piano 'inherited' from DW's aunt
Seeds
Playing with her stuffed animals - she would play out elaborate stories

I was advised to expose her to a wide variety of things to see where her passions may lie - she is now 12 and still happily dabbling.

Frankly, the largest returns for my DS5 have been gained from activities that promote persistence, resilience, and prosocial thinking. These traits seem to be overlooked in school and many organized activities--or are only touched on tangentially.

Physical resilience builds a habit of mental resilience and, for that reason, I emphasize sports and time exploring in nature. Children need to learn to continually test their limits--and become comfortable with learning from failing-- if they are ever to achieve their potential.

For us recently, that looked like DS and me going on a long (for him) snowshoeing trek and having to push through the discomfort of continuing for the last kilometer. We took breaks as needed for his legs, and I carried him for stretches of about 100 meters at a time for a rest, but he did it! Other days, it could be us taking turns reading pages of a challenging but rewarding book, designing a wicked Lego structure from our own blueprints, or practicing parkour moves. Push the limit in activities with a strong intrinsic reward. It builds fabulous mental strength.

Thank you for all the thoughtful responses! I definitely plan to continue to work on his character development, leadership skills, developing better coping strategies, and encouraging an enjoyment of athletics and physical development. Neither my wife nor I have any musical abilities (or languages) to share, but we try to make sure there are instruments available for the kids in hopes of a spark of interest (none shown yet, but they do make up hilarious songs). What strategies have you used to develop skills that aren't strengths of either parent?

To the person who suggested meditation, do you use any particular program or app to guide? I think meditation can be an extremely powerful tool. DS5 didn't show any particular interest when I showed him the headspace app, but it is something I would like to reintroduce. He can have trouble with emotional regulation, and meditation would be very beneficial when he is ready.

Language for my son was an immersion program at school where 1/2 day was English and half day in Spanish. Also he had a bit of fun with duo lingo app.

Now his interest is in another language. He has tried Rosetta Stone but doesn't care for it. I plan to sign him up for a MOOC in this language and see how he does and then an online class for credit. Also looking for a local class on Saturdays for him.

Music...provided high quality (essential not to have toy quality) rhythm instruments (bongo, Congo, tambourine, maracas, bells, egg shakers, etc.) as a preschool and early elementary student. Lots of kid music cds, videos. Recorder and book are easy enough to get ($10.00 each) and in 5th grade son self studied it. 3rd grade is the year around here most schools teach recorder. We have an electric keyboard, a piano and several guitars and a ukulele for him to fool around on.

But he has a wind instrument with lessons and band class at school now that he is in middle school. Will probably add either guitar or piano lessons if he ever wants them.

Using musical instruments as an example...
1) Children might have an initial exposure by seeing a band on TV, during a parade, sporting event, concert, etc. Parents could initiate a conversation about the people, instruments, music.
2) There are sources online for introducing a child to basic vocabulary and concepts, while gauging the child's interest. One is PBS kids: http://pbskids.org/games/music/
3) Local instrument shops may offer lessons and/or have a list of teachers of musical instruments in the community.
4) Local schools may also lave a list of accomplished tutors.