Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Let child hear results of testing?

I just learned that my 9.5 year old daughter scored extremely highly on her IQ testing, high enough for acceptance to Davidson. She's always been bright and mature, and is homeschooled so we can meet her needs.

I got the preliminary testing results over the phone today, and we will return in about 2 weeks for a short meeting to go over how to interpret the results and get the final report.

I am wondering whether to bring my daughter along. I see 2 sides to this.

1) Don't take her. Kids shouldn't know how smart they are because it'll make them lazy and think they don't have to work hard. This is the path my parents took -- I had IQ testing done for a gifted program and they hid the results from me until just this Saturday.

2) Take her along. It's information about her, and she's entitled to know herself. She already knows she's smart, this will break out what areas she's ahead of the curve in and what areas won't come easily. Teach her that her intelligence is a tool, but that without USING that tool, it won't make anything.

I resented the fact that my parents kept my scores from me, and I assumed that I was a genius and my scores were super-high anyway. So I guess I lean toward #2, but I'm scared that it'll ruin her somehow because it doesn't seem like the sort of thing you should do.

What is the approach you took, and how do you feel it worked out?

#2 worked great... and continues to, more than a decade later

Excellent advice!

At that age, I probably would bring her. But it's a close call. I don't think you're going to break her either way.

We did something in the middle of those.

We didn't take them to hear the results because there was a lot of information to absorb and frankly it needed our undivided attention to process it all. We also wanted to be able to speak frankly to the tester without having to worry about how DS/DD might interpret the discussion and/or take things out of context. DS is 2E so there was a lot of information. I will note that our kids were slightly younger (9 and 7) at the time.

Once we had the results and had processed it a bit ourselves we then sat down and talked with each of them. We didn't give out specific numbers but we talked about their strengths, challenges and thoughts along the lines of using that tool that you mention above. They are now both in congregated gifted classes so a certain amount of disclosure was unavoidable. However, with them being in classes where every single kid has been tested we didn't want them to be able to compare precise numbers at any point either.

So far so good for us but as with everything YMMV.

I did not take my son to the meeting to go over the results. But, I think that the information and numbers belong to him and he needs to know what is in that report. I gave him the report and had him study it and then went over his numbers with him. I told him what his strengths were as indicated by his numbers and what his weaknesses were (there were 2 areas of weakness for him). I mentioned to him that we should focus on the areas of weaknesses so that he can perform optimally in the coming years. He is a smart kid and already knew that he was different from the kids around him in many ways through observations he had made during daily interactions. He tries to blend in and does not wish to mention his strengths or scores to anyone else. He knows that he has potential and wishes to maximize his potential. It has been a couple of years and he hardly brings it up.

A lot of wisdom above.

I was told my numbers at that age, but in the context of being a whole person. It probably helped that I have other siblings in the same range, and a sibling who scored much higher (which was evident IRL), which provided a bit more perspective. My parents likewise presented it as a tool which can be used for good or ill--or squandered. There is no personal merit in having a trait that one did not earn (like the color of one's eyes, or one's height), but there is personal responsibility.

Professionally, I present results directly to secondary-age students (as is their right in IEP meetings, btw, once they reach age 14). I believe the information belongs to them, and they should have the opportunity to learn it from someone with the clinical expertise to interpret and explain the data, and to have the opportunity to ask their own questions. For younger children, I think parents know their own children best, and are in a better position to determine just how much detail is appropriate for them. But my preference is to err on the side of too much information, rather than too little. The effects have more to do with how we contextualize it than with the nature of the information, or the age at which it is learned.

We did my older son at 13 because we also wanted to go over his autism dx with him with the psychologist.

It sounds like you are leaning toward taking her. Have you asked her if she even wants to go?

We've had DD tested twice, at 7.5 and 14, due to 2e issues. She didn't want to go to the meeting either time. We only spoke generally about her results when she was 7.5. As in "Even though you struggle with reading, you are a very smart girl." At 14, she knows what is going on. She asked me to summarize the results but I don't think that she read the report. She is at that age where she hates to hear people talk about her. She asked a few questions and then seemed content to drop it. She knows what IQ testing is and understands understands percentiles and standard deviations. I think that it would have been damaging to our relationship not to share the information with her. We also discussed whether she wanted us to fill in the DYS application.

You could share the results of the report with her without taking her to the meeting. If anything is said or discussed at the meeting that might upset or offend her, it might be better to talk to her about the results one on one. Without her there, you could also talk more frankly with the tester, without having to be cautious as to what you say.

I am on the fence about this one, for a few reasons. DD has an idea of range but not necessarily anything else (she is 11). She is pretty bright, DYS, takes the top off of grade level standardized test and so far out of level tests. That being said there are so many other important things that determine success. Executive function, motivation, conscientiousness, and a whole host of other factors not in their control. It seems to me that sometimes having this info puts undue pressure on children. Parents think of it as some sort of indicator of future success (not all but some) and it really is not.