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    Joined: Apr 2016
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    Merlin Offline OP
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    My dilemma is the age old question, "who knows what is best for your child? The child themselves or the parent?"
    The problem I have is that my kids will complain going to an activity but then have a good time actually doing it. They have fun with the other kids and really learn from the experience. It is kind of like kids complaining of homework, but they still need to do it because in the long term it is good for them. I also think of the book Green Eggs and Ham. They might not want to try something new, but once they do, they enjoy it.

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    I think it depends on the family, the kid, and your priorities. We like to spend a lot of quiet time at home and aren't huge on rushing all around town every day, or even a few days a week.

    My DS8 likes to spend time at home with us and isn't that interested in extracurricular activities, but we usually give him options every fall and spring to sign up for a class/program at our local rec center. This fall, he decided to do the swim class. He's a proficient swimmer, but wants to have all the levels signed off so he can be a lifeguard when he's in high school. We're thinking about a photography class in the spring.

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    I think I'm fairly in the middle, or I have been. It's hard because my 5yo is an extrovert and both my husband and I are introverts. He works outside the home full time and I work from home and own my own business, so I do have flexibility. We also have a three year old with delays who has required twice weekly therapy appointments. My daughter is about to jump to a hugely scheduled life though - she is starting school this fall and got accepted into company at her dance school, so she'll be going to school daily and then taking 5.5 hours of dance class per week. I'm hoping she may actually start sleeping through the night. smile She eats it up. She loves to stay busy and active. Me, on the other hand.. smile


    Z - 01/23/11 and O - 05/12/13
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    Our family is relaxed - son age 9 has Piano classes once a week and started " STEAM" club after school which is the first time he wanted to participate in a school club ( besides cross country in K) - my daughter age 6 did a play-type Gymnastics class but decided on no activities this year ... My kids get out of school at 3.45- we don't get home until after 4.15 - and our school has a decent amount of homework - there is often less than an hour of " free play" time so I am trying not to schedule too many activities ...

    My kids love to be home and love to spend time with each other - we like to do " Field trips" almost every weekend: Zoo, Museums, or just a walk through the park - we try to enjoy the time we have with the kids while they are still young and want to have that special family time ...

    I personally know a few very busy parents and their kids have exhausting schedules - it is not for us ... If my kids enjoy their hobby MOST of the times I would want them to stick with it ... sometimes Piano practice is not fun but I know that my son enjoys the instrument - however if he would start hating to go I would let him quit ... it is a hobby and hobbies should enrich your life and make it better. Kids should be able to try a lot of things and not every activity will be their " cup of tea" - I always insist that they last through one " session" but why would I pay for an activity they don't enjoy? School is important, spending time with your family is important ... having a hobby ... is optional ... I liked reading as a child - I tried a few sports and they were not for me ... I had friends and despite my ability to stick with badminton or gymnastic - I did not turn out to be a quitter and have a rather strong work ethic ;-)

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    Same here, my DS10 complains that he doesn't have time play minecraft but is still happy for hockey, swimming, and 2 instruments. Sometimes I feel guilty when I heard his complains. But if you don't keep him busy, he jumps to minecraft immediately.

    Originally Posted by Merlin
    My dilemma is the age old question, "who knows what is best for your child? The child themselves or the parent?"
    The problem I have is that my kids will complain going to an activity but then have a good time actually doing it. They have fun with the other kids and really learn from the experience. It is kind of like kids complaining of homework, but they still need to do it because in the long term it is good for them. I also think of the book Green Eggs and Ham. They might not want to try something new, but once they do, they enjoy it.

    Joined: Jul 2008
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    We keep it very easy and stress-free in our house. DD8 and DD10 used to do one activity per week, but this year they do nothing outside of school.

    Here's why:

    1. They wanted to have more free time than be rushed around to get to their activity.

    2. As great as I think it is for kids to have opportunities, I like to focus our attention on spending time together as a family. Offering our kids activities feels like a gift from a parent, but in reality, most kids just want more time with their parents.

    3. I'm bucking current cultural norms that in order to live a fulfilling life, we need to: work a ton and be involved in as many opportunities as possible. Life is so much more than that!

    4. Stress is killing our health. And I don't want to teach my kids that living a stressful lifestyle is healthy.

    That being said, I realize my kids will get more busy as they hit middle school in the next few years (well, just 1 1/2 years for DD10). So we'll take it one activity at a time, but even then, I will limit what my DD's do in order to prevent burn out and allow them time to be kids.


    Joined: Aug 2009
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    Both kids are in swimming once a week. For me, it's more or less a life skill.

    Each kid can pick one more individual activity.

    I try to keep our week nights as free as possible.

    Joined: Sep 2009
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    I have teen-aged boys and a younger girl. They are vastly different in what they need to thrive. All are a mess when their activity/structure needs are not met or are exceeded.

    The boys both seem to need structured low-key days with lots of free time. They do best with school and a music lesson each week. That is one hour a week; it is relevant that from the one hour/week there is daily practice plus hours of additional fun play.

    My younger DD, however, thrives when she is busy doing things. She needs people and constant physical activity in order to function. It energizes her. Currently she has 8-9 hours/week of scheduled group activities outside of school and she would like more.

    Joined: May 2013
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    I think this is something the kids should decide. I wouldn't like it if someone told me I had to pick a sport and 2 other activities (or worse yet, someone picked which sport, and which activities). I think during the summer, it's reasonable to expect a kid to get involved in something other than just staring at their device or TV, but during the school year, school and homework is enough to occupy their time if that's all they want to do.

    I would not allow my kids to have an activity (or several activities) every day because of the sanity of the family as a whole. I can't take just one kid somewhere, usually I have to drag them both. And I don't necessarily want to spend several hours each day driving from place to place (and shouldn't have to). There is sometimes something going on for Scouts on the weekends but I try to keep weekends open so everyone has some downtime. I cringe at families who are out at games every single weekend and can't make plans with anyone or go anywhere for a weekend getaway because everyone expects the sport to be the top priority--that's just not how I want to live my life.

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