Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Adult Gifted adult who never knew they were gifted?

Thanks all for your great responses!

RRD, I especially related to your post. My DS8 is extremely intense, emotional and sensitive about everything, exactly like me. Unfortunately, although I guess I had minor achievements in school, I never was top of the class or found anything easy. However, I do suffer from severe lack of confidence to the point where I won't even bother trying things because I assume I can't do them.

Case-in-point - when they were testing me two weeks ago, I was going great guns on the general knowledge section, answered six questions straight off the bat, but then I was asked a question I didn't know. My anxiety and lack of confidence immediately kicked in and I berated myself for not knowing the answer to something so simple. Consequently, for the next three questions - even though I knew the answers - I panicked and started second-guessing myself and answered "I don't know" rather than "look stupid" and guess wrong.

This is the main reason why I'm so desperate for DS8 to gain self-confidence, I have never had it my whole life and it's CRIPPLING.

I don't expect to test gifted but I would be floored if I did.

A simple and cost-effective test is the Mensa admissions test. This would not yield the detailed reports of a private test session, but would yield a test score which correlates to a range in IQ scores.

For one, I think it's hard for us not to see ourselves in our kids... but if your ds has confidence issues, I think this is going to be your challenge... Don't equate intelligence with achievement, and encourage ways to be less failure averse.

Since a lot of kids have asynchronous development, where they are outrageously advanced in one area, they may be equally behind in another. It is my personal belief that a strong component in building confidence is building courage... the ability to look at failure as a learning experience, and to keep going.

When your ds fails at something, how do you approach it? Have you exposed him to some great minds that talk about failure? Edison, perhaps? What about going through some scientific studies and showing him the amount of wrong turns and well formed hypotheses are wrong through experimentation?

indigo thanks, I'll give it a go!

AAC, yes we do try to make sure he knows that he isn't failing, just learning a new way not to do something! I think it's imperative with his fragile confidence to make sure he doesn't give up and keeps trying.

That was the extent of identification and services for me. I was high achieving in elementary school, and that slowly dwindled through jr. high and high school, leading to a lot of barely-passing grades other than my then-passion of choir by the time graduation rolled around. College was easy and enjoyable with a high GPA once again, though I didn't finish it all in one go (10 year break to pursue other job interests, get married, start a family, then I went to the local CC and got an associate degree).

Aaanyway, my husband and I have been discussing this often now that our daughter has been identified. Could we be...are we...? It's still taboo to me to say the "g" word about our daughter, let alone about ourselves, but a lot makes sense, especially the sensitivities and mental health issues and my husband's "imposter syndrome" at his position at work.

The only enrichment I ever received was in grade 1 when I was permitted to join the 3rd grade class for reading. And if I recall, it wasn't actually intended as enrichment but just to give me something to do so I wouldn't disturb the class while they were learning to read.

They did suggest a grade skip at one point, but my parents didn't think it was a good idea.

I wish I knew whether or not I'm gifted. The only reason I care is I feel it can help me support my DD better. I try to get inside her head and if I knew about my history it'd be easier to predict any hiccups.

Dh is G/mg and although I we have similar educational histories, I am certain he's way smarter than me. So there's that.

Also, my brain is fried after three kids so I'd be very wary of taking a test as an adult...

In other news, the Mensa screener test is timed. Interesting.

I didn't finish it. Got scored as average. (They were nice and said "above average", but it was 99-119.) I guess processing speed matters, right? When I realized I was running out of time I started making my brain move faster, but at the beginning I was way too slow. I kept trying to make sure I had the right answer before moving on. Now I know that you're supposed to just book it through.

I've never taken an IQ test, so I wonder how the Mensa screener differs from the standard ones. There were a lot of vocab questions (which I could do in half a second because that has always been my strength), math word problems (that I skipped for time and math is my kryptonite). And of course they had the non-language/visual stuff plus number sequence stuff that I have always thought were common to IQ tests, which I feel confident on but took too much time contemplating.

After a lengthy period of not taking timed tests, a person may need or benefit from practice with a timed test.

While the online version provides instantaneous feedback, you may wish to consider taking the paper version of the Mensa screener, as I believe that is the format of the official proctored Mensa test battery. Altering your test-taking strategy may yield sufficiently higher results. There's only one way to find out.

I just checked the Mensa website's practice test webpage and unfortunately the paper format of the screener no longer appears to be available. This leads me to suggest registering to take the official, proctored, in-person, Mensa admission test when it is offered near you... and employ your new strategy to just book it and not overthink any particular item.

In talking to parents who are finding out that their child has a high IQ, in time I mention that they may want to consider that, there is a partial statistical correlation, that some or all of the other siblings, as well as the parents, are gifted.

I also mention to them that on the one hand, at many schools be careful even using the word gifted, and on the other, that even so called gifted (private) schools, often have other priorities, preferring kids around 130, not too much higher, or preferring docile kids, or girls, or extroverts that demo well. (Some studies show extroversion lowers IQ; some schools use the mantle "gifted" but beyond a point shun higher IQs). When is a gifted school not a gifted school.

Or working the other side of the correlation, that rich or famous parent who has all their children admitted to the same "gifted" school, is every single one of their children gifted really. Just saying. Statistical trends in what the schools prefer. 50% of their applicants are not girls, so if 50% of their students are female, you do the math, its a kind of affirmative action. Are they transparent about the above? Often not.