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    Joined: Mar 2014
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    smirk Aww. So many great suggestions here. I just want to say I hope some of these things work out and you both start feeling better about his situation.

    That could easily be my son but he found one kid he clicks with at school and we are so relieved. He's didn't speak to another student for a month and a half into K until he finally made friends with another boy.

    I agree that it only takes one positive relationship in some area of life (doesn't have to be school, although that's ideal) and things will get much better quickly.

    Picked DS up from afterschool care today and he told me he has no friends in afterschool. We talked through some strategies. He's 6 and was surprisingly open to suggestions. He ended the conversation with "I'm glad I have XXXX to play with during the day." That one relationship seems to be a very big confidence builder.

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    1 good friendship is more than a million could ever give. Remember, some people appear very social, but in reality have not one real friend.

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    Originally Posted by _Angie_
    smirk Aww. So many great suggestions here. I just want to say I hope some of these things work out and you both start feeling better about his situation.

    That could easily be my son but he found one kid he clicks with at school and we are so relieved. He's didn't speak to another student for a month and a half into K until he finally made friends with another boy.

    I agree that it only takes one positive relationship in some area of life (doesn't have to be school, although that's ideal) and things will get much better quickly.

    Picked DS up from afterschool care today and he told me he has no friends in afterschool. We talked through some strategies. He's 6 and was surprisingly open to suggestions. He ended the conversation with "I'm glad I have XXXX to play with during the day." That one relationship seems to be a very big confidence builder.

    Ds7 had one good friend for his first two years at school. Then the friend left. That was so hard.

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    we did a lot of work with our ds from age 5 through 14 or so to find and keep friends; I was thinking he was in pretty good shape the last few years, but still remains not much of a self-starter on maintaining friends - problems persist with differences in interests.
    He has pretty esoteric interests in anime, japanese arts and animation technology; interest in philosophy and art discussions which are not too appealing to most 15 year olds.

    this year, at 16, he announced that he has people he is interested in being friends with online, and finds them vastly more interesting than those he's met so far irl. they are having the conversations he is interested in and wants to be part of.
    at first I was very concerned, but after discussing with the therapist and him a few more times, we are willing to let him reach out to some of these other folks, mostly his age anyway, but with the caveat that he has to keep us in the loop 100%. (he has shown us a lot of their work, before and subsequent to these discussions...working his way up to actually contacting any of them, of course).

    I really cannot imagine he will find some other kid at school who is interested in discussing the impact of kurosawa on all other films (across all genres, etc.) or the subtle tweaks to frame rate that an animator might make to give a certain emotional feeling to a character's gait...And so on from there...

    so, it's a brave new world, but we are dipping in a toe or two.

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    I find it so interesting that so far, all posts to this thread are by parents of gifted boys. Is it perhaps because there is such a big divide between athletic vs. intellectual boys?

    In any case, we also have concerns for DS6 with respect to friendships. He has been lucky enough to have a really good friend since age 3 but unfortunately for DS6, said boy is very athletic and has been drawn more and more to other boys who play sports. DS6 recognizes this and it's really heartbreaking to witness how helpless he feels to maintain the friendship. It may survive, but it's hard to tell.

    That said, DS6 seems to have befriended another boy who is likely also gifted (based on my observations and quick chat with the boy's mother). Fingers crossed that the friendship develops, especially since this boy is in the same after-school program with DS6!

    That said, we probably still have years of this ahead of us as well. And it's still heartbreaking when DS6 asks DS5 how he makes friends so easily. DS6 will also comment that it's unfair that everyone seems to like DS5. And it's true that there is a stark contrast between the two!

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    Puffin that happened here as well. S17 had a good friend 2nd-4th grade. Then that kid left (I knew it would happen) and DS struggled to find finds until H.S. He's still not super social, but he has friends and has managed to make it though jr. high where he had ZERO friends & didn't want to even try. (We had guidance counselors who were very worried about him.)

    But he's a different kid in H.S. He even brought a few friends to hang out this summer once he got back from camp. smile Meet them to go Pokemon hunting.

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    I feel that the experience of having a best friend once should make it easier in the future. Ds7 isn't so sure.

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    bluemagic and Puffin,
    Same thing here. DS met a kid when he transferred to the gifted school who also a new transfer and was a near twin to my DS both physically (awkward-not really athletic) as well as with regard to their quirks. And I loved his parents who were really kind to my DS. They were good friends for 3 years and then at the end of 6th grade this past summer, he moved to another state.
    He's got a very good friend who is a girl and a couple of other friends who aren't close but whose parents also love my DS so they go out of their way to include him in things.

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