Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion WWYD - moving abroad

Hi everyone,

I have a 5.5yo daughter who I guess is considered "moderately gifted"? Her GAI and FSIQ were somewhere between 130-140 when she took it last month (trying to remember off the top of my head - don't have the report with me). Her vocabulary scores were by far the highest and hit the ceilings.

To sum up a long history of education thus far: she started attending an individualized academic school at 2.5yo FT until Aug '15 and then PT until Oct '15. We moved to Canada in Dec '15 and she entered senior kindergarten for a couple of months. We ended up moving back to our current state, and she was allowed to transfer into kindergarten in Jan '16 despite her age. (Mid-Dec birthday, state has a 31 Aug cutoff). She seems to be doing well and finished the year with 92%ile math and 99%ile reading MAP scores. She hates math, but she loves reading and reads/comprehends 4th grade scaled books. She also takes French, drama, and sports.

We have the opportunity to move to Ireland for a year while I attend a graduate program, and I'm nervous about it for a variety of reasons. I'm somewhere on the gifted scale but don't know exactly where. I enjoyed living in the UK when I was my daughter's age, but I'm concerned Ireland will set her back as Irish schools are wanting to place her in Senior Infants class. Our US school district (located in an international community) has told me they don't consider this level to be equivalent with their kindergarten, let alone first grade. Ireland also has non-existent gifted programs, so that's not even an option, and I don't think a teacher with 30-35 students will be able to give her a challenge. The one international school has agreed to place her into their first grade, but it's a very expensive school that was only recently opened. There are also a bunch of logistical issues I would have with this school. I do like the IB PYP aspect, though.

I suppose I'm asking a WWYD question. My parents never had me tested, and I loved school until age 10 as I got to attend the individualized academic school and was doing HS-level work. I was thrown back into the public school system, and it all went to heck; I was in honors-level classes and still sailed through them in multiple districts/states, including the one that, at the time, was recognized as the best in the country. Anyway, there were many days where I refused to go to school, then once I could drive I skipped school, all the while my parents refused to let me attend boarding school, etc. Truthfully, I'm not sure I've ever felt challenged and have pretty much been underachieving ever since. I don't want the same fate for my daughter. I finally feel like I'm trying to pull myself out of this hole, thus the graduate program, but I don't know that it's worth the cost of my daughter's education. Our district doesn't have a super great gifted program, but it does exist and her school is a top performer.

Thoughts?!

I'd say don't worry about it too much. It is only a year and she's little. Having a happy mom who followed her own dreams is surely as valuable as a year of academic first grade.

Thoughts include that you'd be killing two birds with one stone:
- In addition to you undertaking the grad school program which may end your self-described underachievement...
- Ireland will provide enrichment in the form of cultural immersion/awareness as well as the experience of whatever academic program you may decide on for your child.

This sounds like a win-win.

From the brief amount of information in your post it is difficult to give personally tailored advice. However, speaking in generalities: If you are getting cold feet for any other reason (such as experiencing a well-timed case of gifted "imposter syndrome" which is causing you to doubt whether you can actually accomplish the opportunity which is front of you), then you may subconsciously be focusing on your daughter as a means of not facing the grad school challenge and seeing it through.

It is only a year. Is it just you and your daughter or is there another adult who can do enrichment etc? It is possible they will jump her up and it is possible your source is misinformed about the level.

I would follow my dreams to Ireland in a heartbeat. Your dd is very young, and childhood passes quickly. All the gifted curriculum in the world can't make up for sharing an adventure together and the memories that can create. Who knows where Ireland will lead to?

I may be in the minority here, but I think that putting the bulk of responsibility for underachievement on lack of challenge for gifted students in lower school is misplaced - I absolutely believe that gifted children need to be given appropriate academic challenge, but I also doubt that the lack of academic challenge early on is going to result in huge issues unless there are other factors involved. Your dd has a loving parent and a parent who's pursuing her own dreams - those are her keystones. I wouldn't for one second worry about missed opportunities for your dd in school. She'll have plenty of time to make up for that later on.

So that's my two cents - go for it!

Best wishes,

polarbear

What Polarbear said

+

The Irish education system is top notch and whatever is covered at 5-6 years old is so basic (anywhere in the world) your DD will not be held back in her life at all.

Go for it and don't look back :-)

I agree with polarbear. Even if you don't put her in any school, the temporary experience of a different country at this age will be magnificent for her development. Wish we could do this!

Hoagies Gifted Education Page has a webpage dedicated to underachievement, including resources discussing research, and how to reverse underachievement.

Not knowing the OP's childhood experiences beyond what was mentioned in this discussion thread, I'll just say in general:
Some kids may not experience an academic/intellectual challenge in school, and may be missing the joy that comes from persistence in the face of difficulty until achieving success. Kids without a challenge in school may often experience being treated in a negative manner as compared with their classmates:
- needs may be overlooked/ignored,
- expected to "tread water" until other students catch up,
- reprimanded for not paying attention,
- expected to teach other students rather than learn something new.

In extreme cases, a child who is "ahead" may be publicly shamed in the classroom as a means to get them to slow down and "fit in"... allowing others to to make relatively greater educational gains toward closing the achievement gap and/or excellence gap.

Unfortunately, by a practice of cutting down the tall poppies, children may be unintentionally or deliberately taught to under-achieve.

For some of us, this is why we:
- continue to advocate,
- support the use of the IAS for acceleration,
- believe in alternative educational paths,
- encourage gifted individuals (whether children or adults) to reflect on their experience and learn about concepts such as underachievement and imposter syndrome... so they can face the damage which may have been done and begin to heal, embrace challenges, and realize more of their full potential.

Having lived overseas for 11 years, more than 3 of them with DD13 when she was young, I would highly recommend going to Ireland. The cultural experience and the possibility of learning another language (I think they still require Gaelic in school) will have a lasting affect on your dd. What she misses educationally from a year of school in the US will be minimal and she can easily catch up, if needed when you get back.