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Joined: May 2013
Posts: 2,155
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Joined: May 2013
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Thought this was interesting about how schools think about themselves and kids/parents and why parents feel like they hit a brick wall so often. Wish I could send this to every school in the nation and make them read it. http://www.wrightslaw.com/advoc/articles/ALESSI1.html
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Joined: Sep 2013
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Wow. Thank you for sharing this article.
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 2,035
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In my case my kid's problems were caused by my enabling them. Obviousky a teacher knows more about medical issues than a hospital soecialist. Tbe result was 18 months regression and a couple of years educational growth.
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Joined: Sep 2007
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Well, that was one of the most depressing education articles I've ever read, which is saying an awful lot. Putting the interests of the adults in the school ahead of the interests of the children as a matter of policy. Wow. Finally, I asked how many reports concluded that child factors were primarily responsible for the referred problem. The answer was 100%. These 5,000 positive findings uncovered the true weak link in the educational process in these districts: the children themselves.
When Dr. Alessi shared these findings with the school psychologists, many protested that "all five factors are indeed responsible for school problems in the cases they studied, but that informal school policy (or ‘school culture’) dictates that conclusions be limited to child and family factors. I suspect that big lawsuits are the only way to change this sort of thing. It occurs to me that schools may have the same outlook on gifted students: it's YOUR fault (or mom/dad's) that you're not challenged. It's YOUR fault that you don't fit in. It's YOUR fault if you get picked on.
Last edited by Val; 05/19/16 02:29 PM. Reason: Added info to make quote make sense
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Joined: Feb 2012
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I'm pretty sure I posted the same article a couple of years ago. Still scandalous.
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Joined: Oct 2013
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I agree that parents and students are sometimes blamed. I have seen this first hand and have seen strange tactics from the schools to protect their interests.
I have also had some extremely good interactions with schools, so I can say for sure there are good and bad ones. And I think it is different cultures of the administration/principals, in our case.
Last edited by howdy; 05/19/16 05:16 PM.
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Joined: Apr 2015
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Tangentially related: After the recent hell-month-or-two, I called coordinator of DS' program and explained that he was really melting down, wanting to quit school, and that I was weighing options for next year. I told her I wasn't going to allow him to "just quit" but was trying to support him and help him understand that it wasn't in his best interest to just stop doing everything, because of one overwhelming class. Her response: "Yes, and he needs to understand that he made a COMMITMENT." I had a huge WTH/aha moment to that response. I understand that mentality, in terms of playing a sport, or performing in a play, etc., but this confirmed my hunch the school thinks they are providing a "privilege" to the students. No concern for the fact he was having daily anxiety attacks, saying that school made him hate himself, his saying one teacher hated him and would never give him a decent grade, etc. Just what he *owes* to the school. He did have several very kind teachers, including one who said "What do we need to do to get DS through the end of school?" I suppose I am naive, because that was the sort of response I'd expect across the board. I think it is very difficult for some personality types to understand that it's not necessary to be defensive at every turn. I'm not sure where that originates, although I suspect that the same super-organized, systems-oriented skill set that helps teachers function in that system, may be frequently accompanied by some rigidity.
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Eco--yuck. Yes, I do think there is a lot of rigidity which tends to mean they are also very opinionated, and also people not wanting to apologize or admit they were wrong about anything, even when it's right in their face. I always get the feeling that no one really cares what I have to say, they are not even interested, really. They have their own ideas and minds made up. When I found out that DS's neuropsych report had been sitting there for 1.5 years and no one read it, and even after I mentioned it was there, still no one read it or showed any interest in reading it, I was just scratching my head. It had so much info that could have been useful to them. The only person who seemed interested was the nurse. So in the article they talk about having IEEs done. But I have no interest in explaining an IEE to people who don't really care anyway. They have proven helpful though, in terms of reversing the course of direction that the school was going to take. Not so much because the school finally "got it" but because it was documentation that I needed to fight them, and they knew it.
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Joined: Apr 2015
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When I found out that DS's neuropsych report had been sitting there for 1.5 years and no one read it, and even after I mentioned it was there, still no one read it or showed any interest in reading it, I was just scratching my head. It had so much info that could have been useful to them. The only person who seemed interested was the nurse. That is upsetting. You lay out all of your DS' relevant, personal, and vulnerable info and nobody even bothers with it? Makes me sad. You know, now that you mention it, in both of my sons' cases, the nurse has been the kindest, most interested, and most supportive person at the school! Older DS had seizure disorder in HS that nobody gave a hoot about, and DS13 school nurse and I had a very long conversation in which I learned more helpful info about the 504 than I'd ever known before. Maybe the school nurse is our most under-utilized school professional?
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Joined: Sep 2011
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I haven't had time to read the article yet, so I'm holding back from commenting until I do.. but.... fwiw.... Her response: "Yes, and he needs to understand that he made a COMMITMENT." *REALLY*????? and yikes!!!! I can't believe they said that. (OTOH, I guess I can considering some of the clueless things school staff have said to us when advocating for our 2e kids over the years... but still....) Honestly, is it at all fair to frame this as a student made a commitment? Did he honestly have a choice re whether or not to go to school? This is nothing at all like deciding to play on a soccer team, signing up for the season, and then quitting after the first game. Our kids are in school because the law says they have to go to school. We may make choices to attend optional school programs or take certain classes, but you can't frame any of that into the student making a "commitment". Well, I can't lol. Sorry - hope you didn't think I was ranting at you eco, I wasn't. That comment just really rubbed me the wrong way. Good thing I wasn't the parent present at school at the time it was made Best wishes, polarbear
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