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I am one of those parents who watches one of her kids like a hawk.

My oldest is impulsive esp in public, so I have to watch him very closely. My youngest is very responsible (more so than the oldest), so I don't have to supervise her as closely.

Not only do I receive comments/advices about being too strict. I am also being viewed as treating the kids unfairly.

At the end of the day, I know my kids best. I have to ignore all the comments/advices and do what's best for the individual kid.

Good luck!

I wasn't so much as taking it as criticisms, but I wanted to reframe things to hear how other mom's dealt with that type of awkwardness when you really do want to say "my kid isn't quite like yours, back off" to other moms when I catch slack about my inability to sit and enjoy coffee and a chat with them because I'm always following my toddler or redirecting attention or needing to leave because he's overstimulated. I know a lot of the parents here have been through this and I'm just starting out. Since I rephrased my thoughts and added some more clear direction, I seem to have gotten helpful feedback. Thank you all!

Oh, this is such a GEM of a post.

In some respects, this is the most freeing thing of all about radical (multi-year) acceleration-- it's proof positive that you're parenting an outlier, and that other parents seldom have anything useful to add.

Of course, they'll still chime in anytime something goes wrong... because naturally, bad things only happen to kids when their parents make bad parenting decisions, right??

In this day and age, with the internet and vast population, someone is always going to be judgemental - whether it is how you parent, how you look, whether you are a SAHM or working mom, breastfed or not... as everyone else said, only you know your child best (no one can ever prepare for all possible scenarios and it is easy to judge afterwards or do the "we should have done this"). Basically the message that we all seem to be bombarded with is that everyone is doing the right thing except you. And yes, some days, I do have doubts over whether I am doing enough right stuff with both kids (polar opposites) that they won't be totally dysfunctional as they get older. Before kids, I wanted to be like those perfect moms - now, I just want to be sure I am doing enough right stuff to keep them on a track that will allow for positive lives.

I learned - don't spend too much time agonizing over what-might-haves other than try to figure out what to do in future (DH tends to like to stress over what-ifs and I tend to be more "it did not happen, move along now" so we do have periodic differences over that) - and to be able to let go of what others say or may say. If someone is a parent of the child that is relatively "easy going", it is easy to judge and point where someone "messed up" in their parenting - they won't ever have the experience or stress of what it is like to parent a child that defies the conventions.

(also, we lean towards hover parents category - because DS is way too trusting and will go off with anyone who is friendly while DD will do things that scares us to death at times - we just don't apologize - I tend to have the attitude of these are my kids and I will watch them as necessary for safety reasons). If you don't want to explain yourself - just don't. I don't unless they ask me directly, otherwise I just smile and continue with whatever I do.

I have learned that the parents of gifted kids usually have one thing in common - feeling judged by other parents.

That and utter exhaustion

I just want to add that I was an extremely skilled and wise parent...up until we had children.

Hang in there. We're all learning and growing every day.

my mom liked to say that for nurotypical people, input comes in one way and goes out the other, but for me it comes in one way, bounces around for a bit, and that comes out in a random direction.

My grandmother used to stop to tell mums struggling that the boisterous ones were more rewarding in the end. I remember her telling one mum that although some days she may wish for a 'suet pudding' child who sat where she was put that in the long run she would be happier with the type she had.

My children are NOT suet pudding children.

I was not a nice little kid...but it made me a decent person. In my defense I have three learning disorders, and that's hard to deal with when your in elementary school. And yeah, I'm not pudding.