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    Joined: Apr 2012
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    Dd6 is a single child. She is very caring and nurturing. She does not have too many friends as it takes her a long time to make friends and most children her age are too rough for her. She has always make-believed that she has a sister. Of late, she has started to express rather strongly how much she wishes to have a sister. She put it on her Christmas list as #1. She has cried several times lamenting that she does not have a sister. I am above 40 and had lots of complication with my pregnancy- dd is a preemie. I don't want to go through it again. But she is really starting to bring this up every single day and I am not sure how to handle this. We are not from this country so all our family is far far away- no nearby cousins. We live in a neighborhood with fair amount of children but with the exception of one, they are all older boys. I really don't know how to handle this. It is breaking my heart frown Hoping for some advice. Thanks in advance.

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    Skype cousins
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    Sponsor a child around the same age, through a development charity, and correspond with her.


    ...pronounced like the long vowel and first letter of the alphabet...
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    Lots of kids wish they were only children. We don't get rid of the other kids.

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    Thanks aeh and puffin. I googled and found some interesting ways parents deal with this issue. I have a few ideas that I am going to try and see how dd takes it. Thanks again.

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    Aw, that's no good - what ideas are you going to try, out of interest? My DD has only mentioned it a couple of times and while I agree that, yes, having someone around who is *just* like her would be awesome, it is not on the table. At all. Shut it down smile
    Hopefully you can reason with her that wishing for impossible things is not a fun way to spend her time. Maybe instead she can make plans for strengthening her friendships and making new friends. Good luck

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    (~waving to say hello~)

    Are there any extracurricular activities your DD could join like ballet or gymnastics?

    My DD made a few friends including a few younger girls at her ballet school. I think that's where she gets her "younger sister" fix.

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    DD10 is an only and no amount of logic or reasoning ever satisfied on this topic.

    Us: "If you had brothers or sisters you wouldn't get as much attention. You wouldn't be able to do as much fun stuff. We would have to split resources, time, attention, etc. Every kid with siblings wishes at some point they were an only child" etc, etc, etc.

    DD: "So? What's your point?"

    No cousins or neighborhood kids close in age either. When she was about 4 DD started to create imaginary friends. Lots and lots of imaginary friends. (She called them her "children") She was always very sociable and outgoing so different from your DD, though. At about age 7 or 8 she began to get annoyed by her friends' younger siblings having tantrums. That helped a bit. Now those younger siblings are older and DD considers them her friends every bit as much as the older ones, much to the chagrin of the older ones wink DD is careful to include the younger siblings in playdates, birthday parties, etc. Again often to the chagrin of the older kids. Oddly enough she now tends to gravitate towards other only children when making new friends. We usually don't find out they are only children until later so I'm not sure how that dynamic works. She has several friends she is so close to that they refer to each other as "sisters" or "cousins" which is nice.

    So I guess my advice is to let her spend time around other kids as much as she is comfortable. She WILL find her way on this one. A close friend or 2 with similar personality or interests will probably help.

    Oh and when she was 5 we got a new dog and told DD he was "her new little brother." Surprisingly it helped. Anytime he got into mischief or damaged something of hers we said "Well you said you wanted a little brother. That's what they do."

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    Avocado, one of the ideas I had was what Pemberely tried in her kid. And just like her dd, my dd totally rejected that reasoning. Here is a snippet from our bedtime conversation yesterday.
    Me: if you had a sister, you won't get enought of our time and attention.
    Dd: oh good, then I can focus on my tasks without fear of interruption from you guys.
    (Side note: dd's tasks are usually things we don't approve of, such as, building spider webs with strings throughout her room- a hobby she has had since she was 2 I think, or drawing up and executing plans to escape from the house- she has drilled holes in walls with her scissors, broken a piece of the backyard fence etc. obviously we notice it immediately and she gets scolded so I can see how she would appreciate less attention)
    Me: you won't get any new toys and would be sharing what you have.
    Dd: fine, I have too many toys anyway and no one to play with. I will happily give all my toys to the baby.
    Me: babies are too much work and they cry all the time.
    Dd: except for diaper change, I will help you with all the work. If you keep the baby happy, she won't cry at all. I will keep her happy.
    And on and on a ms on for 1/2 hour. The only thing that gave her a pause was
    Me: if you get into a top tier college, we might not be able to send you there as we can't afford to send two kids to top tier college.
    Dd admitted she would not like that and we will have to think about this problem. Anyway, I would say this strategy did not work for us.


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    Pemberely, dd has asked for a dog now for many years. She has done a lot of research on dogs and has picked out the breed she wants and even has a name for her dog. I am not an animal person and not comfortable with bringing home a pet at all. but if she continues to feel miserable, I might have to relent and get her a dog.

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    Mana, a big hello back to you. Even though I have been inactive on the site, I have been checking in often and always happy to read your posts about your amazing dd. Looks like she is at a fantastic school now and things are good- very happy about that. Dd is not much into team activities. She is not comfortable in classes where there are kids who distract and don't follow rules. That said, she is very affectionate to little kids and takes really good care of them. She is really craving for someone who stays under the same roof, who can be part of her imaginative pretend adventures, and relate to her. I understood as much in talking to her yesterday and I feel guilty for not being able to give her that.

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