Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Suggestions to help DD11 manage time in AM

DD11 walks to school now and for this reason, has responsibility for the time she leaves the house. She has a before-school practice 3 mornings out of 5 (semi-optional, but not really) and can be at school at the "regular" time the other 2 days. She usually wakes herself up--that's not the problem--but is very slow with getting dressed, eating breakfast, packing up her stuff, etc. Often I am yelling at her and reminding her of the time over and over. She is a naturally sloooooow mover in the morning. If she wanted to, she could be ready in 1/2 hour tops (all she has to do is get dressed, eat breakfast, which I usually still make, brush teeth and hair, and put computer, phone, and lunch in her bag), but more commonly it's 45 minutes.

I know this is common, but also DD has some exec function weaknesses and ADHD-ish traits, which is why I put this in this section. I also think she could possibly use some tools/apps designed for that population here. So--any help? She has an Android phone. I thought about setting multiple alarms to keep her on track, but not sure about that. One complication is that she not infrequently gets up early to finish homework or study, so mornings are not a completely set routine.

Middle school starts rather late, so mornings are not early here. She COULD get up a bit earlier, except that some days she stays up late and I prefer to let her sleep in a little. Evenings are the time when we tend to be time-stressed, since she has some after school activities some days and a fair bit of HW.

My middle school kid gets up earlier than he needs too. Takes a five minte shower (but doesn't have to fool with his very short hair). Does everything he need to and then takes a half hour nap on the sofa. If he does have things to do tha didn't get done the night before, he skips the nap. Everyone else is up early so sleeping through that noise is impossible but his dad and brother are gone by the time he takes his nap. I drive him to school but if I were unable to drive for some reason he would skip the nap and walk the half mile to the bus stop. He does his stuff quickly, longing for the precious nap (if he isn't tired, or the couple of days when he first got the new rick riordin book, he will read instead).

That works for us. I say experiment with different ideas until you find what works. My other son is very very very slow in the morning. Routine and allowing for his speed is what works for him. But he is pretty cranky.

Interesting idea. I don't know if she would want to "nap," but maybe some kind of motivator would get her going.

I am thinking about a checklist for DS who can wander around the house with one shoe in his hand for 20 minutes on a good day. I am usually too wiped out from just getting him out the door to put together a checklist...

Something with the basics, laminated or in a page protector, that can be wiped clean? On a clipboard, hanging on a hook?

Will be watching this thread, closely! DS in the morning=bane of my existence.

She has a checklist! We heart checklists. The checklist gets done, which is good. Just veeeeerrrrrry slooooooowwwwwly. With yelling. Lots of yelling.

Are there any friends in the area who also walk at the same time? If she is meeting a peer to walk to school together, it may provide a different kind of motivator for managing her time.

When I was a kid, my mom had time limits on meals (some unnamed child in our family was a very slow eater!). She won't starve if breakfast gets put away after 15 minutes (assuming there is no medical contraindication to this). (Probably want a five minute warning, too.)

What worked for us is this: "Since you're having so much trouble getting ready for school on time, I think we need to give you more time. Your bedtime is now 30 minutes earlier, and we'll wake you 30 minutes earlier. If this still isn't enough time, we'll keep walking it backwards until we get it right."

This never quite made it to implementation.

Make a recording of yourself yelling?

Seriously, this issue makes me insane. Especially now DS is an almost teen and now wants more sleep, on top of the Poky Little Puppy thing.

The only thing that *might* maybe work here is threats about electronics but I can't bring myself to do that. Maybe just a lot of deep breathing for the parents. I know they don't do it on purpose...

One thing I did that made a huge difference for my DS at that age. A LARGE clock in the bathroom where DS could see if from the shower. When I have guests they chuckle at the clock and then nod when they realize why I have it there.

I don't have a lot of other suggestions. Perhaps pushing her out the door even if she isn't quite ready ready would help? Or rearrange what order she does things in the AM. Stop reminding her, let her be late and have her take the consequences at school? At DS's H.S. kids gets Sat Detention after too many tardies.

I'm one of those people who is super anxious about being on time that I'm often too early for things and this seems to have rubbed off on my kids. So I don't have a huge experience with this situation.

No friends to walk with, alas. As to breakfast, haha. We have used a meal timer in the past to get meals done with!! But she is at the very low end of healthy for BMI (doctor muttered a little bit about meal supplement shakes last time but said we weren't there yet), so I hesitate to cut her off. She eats a good amount, actually. Just slllloooow. Lunch at school is a problem because she eats very little (talking, I think).

I would like to get her up earlier, but she is barely getting enough sleep as it is. As opposed to my other child, who is one of those gifted kids who needs less sleep, she needs more than usual. DS is 4 years younger and gets only 1/2 an hour more a night, which he is fine with. She still doesn't do well on less than 9.5--10 is better.