Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional good things happen, too

Ugh. The old "playing the game" approach is unfortunately so necessarily in academia. I'm teaching DS14 (not 2e) this strategy, as his first year of high school is quite demanding. Get inside the teacher's heads, learn what they want to hear, and then give it to them. So many really smart kids underperform because they either have trouble figuring out what to study or how to present their answers.

But my 2e DS12 does what he wants and is not ready for the game. Ironically, he's probably learning more effectively this way.

Mine was not ready last year, either, and I agree that he actually learned more advanced concepts when he was left alone.

The only (and I do mean ONLY) reason DS is now ready to hear/learn/try re: the Game is because he really, really wants to stay in his program. This is not because he feels anything important is happening academically, but because his identity is tightly mapped to the "gifted" piece and he really, really loves the banter with a couple of his similar friends.

If he didn't want to go to school, or didn't care about his placement, I'd have zero leverage.

I guess, for DS, with puberty has come a bit of a transition from idealism to pragmatism. This happened when it happened. I don't think there's anything I could have done to accelerate the process.

For DS14 we saw a significant increase in maturity, responsibility, and independence between the end of 7th grade to the end of 8th grade. Our friends and neighbors have said similar things about their boys "getting it together" in 8th grade. DS14 now does his 2-3 hours of homework a night on his own (occasionally asking for help), organizes study groups with his friends, and so on.

We're hoping against hope for this transition in DS12.

It seems like hope against hope, but seriously--if MY DS can do it, yours can, too. Mine doesn't even care about his grades or what people think.

(Not that we are by any means out of the woods, just he is really different now at almost 13 than he was last year. He entered obvious puberty in sixth grade.)

This is more of my uneducated conjecture about hormones, but DS here has changed a LOT. He is still very short but he has a little mustache (to which his breakfast clings, attractively), some acne, and his voice is changing. He has learned to use deodorant without being reminded. Along with these signs of impending maturity, his level of cooperation and buy-in has improved.

I also work with a lot of adolescents who have diagnoses and the boys frequently talk about how much "trouble" they used to be in at school, before they mellowed out.

I think there's a lot of reason to have hope.

Wonder if this applies to girls too? I think we have at least 3 more years, though.

For me, it was after having children. Hope that's a bit further out than three years for your DD (and mine, too!)

Seriously, though, isn't there a lot of research about frontal lobe developmental stages, etc.? I probably read it here. Isn't there some idea about some EF delays in our kids that they are about three years behind, and "NT" kids make huge leaps around age nine...so twelve is about right(ish)?

At any rate, having an attentive (pun intended) parent can only help our neuro-atypical children...I keep telling myself this, anyhow.

I'm wondering if there are some brain changes with puberty and what, specifically, they are. I was rather scattered in grade school and underperforming. Then I got to high school and everything kind of clicked and I turned into a straight A student (I was somewhat late developing).

Girls in particular seem very concerned about thier appearance by Jr. High/High school and some EF skills are going to be needed to remember to take showers, fix hair, do makeup, arrange outfits, etc. Maybe that will be the motivation needed, although I cringe that it may end up being the superficial stuff that is the motivation to learn some of these skills. Right now it's difficult to even get DD to take showers or change her clothes so she's not wearing the same clothes 2-3 days in a row.

I remember watching "Inside the Teenage Brain" a long time ago when my first child (with complex neuro issues) was in puberty. Here's an article referencing that show and giving a simple explanation of puberty and brain changes:

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/teenbrain/work/adolescent.html

My eldest has a constellation of neurological symptoms, the most alarming of which is a seizure disorder that had its onset at puberty. Interestingly, his seizures originated in the frontal lobe. It's not uncommon for kids to either "grow out" of seizures in adolescence or to have an exacerbation. Weird stuff.

When you throw in kids with EF issues, who knows how all of this works. There are all kinds of neurology based research articles about ADHD, ASD, etc., on the internet but they are way above my pay grade. I know there are quantifiable differences between "normal" and "abnormal" brains, that can be seen with various types of imaging.

Good article--thanks. I thought the part where they talked about the cerebellum was also interesting, because a lot of kids with clumsiness or DCD seem to show improvements when they hit adolescence.

Update: I did receive an email in response to my question about Notice of Action.

He is not suspected of having a disability under IDEA because:

* Current grades - 4 As and 2 Bs
* Input from current teachers - Some specific input includes the following:
* a good student who works hard
* is very bright
* performance exceeds that of most other student in the class
* has very high potential
* remarks in class are well thought out
* State and district assessment scores
* Our school psychologist reviewed the 5/12/15 Neuropsychological Evaluation.

Okay, I really do get the rationale. Except for the part we he is only 1/4 of the way through the year, and the NP report is pretty clear about how bad things *can* get.

The good news: I only have to over-function for another three quarters. I can do this, although I may have to take steroids. DS' health is looking pretty good, but I'm losing weight and sleep and having flare of chronic health condition.

These are just jewels in my shield, yes?