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    ashley Offline OP
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    I am in the throes of advocacy meetings for grade skip or acceleration for my 8 year old - the meetings are all going well. But, in the school that we are in, they offer "ability" based differentiation - because many parents objected vehemently to one group of kids being called "gifted" and all the other kids being left out of the group. Our area is full of very smart and well spoken parents - and many argued vey eloquently about why IQ tests are not a true indicator of giftedness and that every child is extremely gifted in their own way. Which is good and helped abolish the word "gifted" from our school's dictionary.

    But, the fact remains that my child is HG+ and is a misfit in a regular classroom - he can do the work there blindfolded with both hands tied behind his back (I am metaphorically speaking). He dominates the regular classroom with his knowledge and ability to know what the teacher is going to teach next. Funnily, being the only kid who puts up his hand for every single question, every single time and finishing his task way ahead of others worked as a sort of self-advocacy tool for him. So he got "pullouts" which are supposedly advanced and this is not sufficient either. So, the school is willing to work with us on a plan for my DS and I have meetings set up to talk to admins and teachers. But, the kicker is that they won't use the word "gifted" officially. I am using the words "high ability learner" along with "quick thinker" and "high work ethic, focus and concentration" as substitutes for the G-word. Any other words or phrases that will help me to convey what I want to say? TIA.

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    Advanced.
    High Potential.
    Talented in "math", "reading", "science", or what have you.

    I also cringe at the word "gifted"...I think it comes across as kind of arrogant, like the kid is a special snowflake.

    I use the word, but generally only on forums like this where everyone knows what I mean.

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    My son has extremely good processing skills. He is a unusually fast reader. He makes connections at the speed of light.

    I think it is funny because they probably aren't disputing that there are children with standard deviations to the left on the bell curve (by federal law we know they exist and there are names and labels associated with those differences from the middle of the curve... the terms used to label them do change over time to be less offensive) so it is funny that they can't admit that there are going to be children with standard deviations to the right and there has to be a term for it even if it is a made up nonsense word.

    If I had to come up with a term not using gifted I might say..."freaky smart and a lot of work"...you try living with him

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    Arguing semantics can easily distract from the evidence, and substantially weaken your position.

    Do not allow that to happen.

    The labels are irrelevant.

    Argue directly from the evidence and bypass pointless labeling. Id est, argue from test results, behavior, affect, and so on. If this approach makes people uncomfortable, remind them that these are facts and ask what word they would like you to use instead�strategically, this gives you an opportunity to ask for a favor and thereby make use of the Benjamin Franklin effect, strengthening your position. When thus using a label they have suggested, be quick to remind people of what facts this label stands for if they fail to appreciate this meaning and argue instead from semantics. As the label was chosen to stand for these facts by your �opponents�, your position is further strengthened.

    Another effective strategy would be to ascertain that your DS's name is directly associated with these facts. Thus, any mentioning of his name will directly bring to mind his characteristics and situation.

    In any event, make also sure that his name or the label that you eventually use (should it come to this) is directly associated with positive affect. This is important because �open-mindedness� is directly linked to positive emotion, whereas negative emotion is linked to �narrow-mindedness� and focusing on the negative. Making sure the association is with positive affect, you avoid association with negative affect. This is admittedly easier said than done. (Sources: http://journal.frontiersin.org/article/10.3389/fpsyg.2015.00670/full and http://journal.frontiersin.org/article/10.3389/fnhum.2014.00114/abstract.)

    I wish you and your son all the best!

    Don't give up, never give up hope!


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    I've used "scary smart" but the school still doesn't get it. DS16 attends a rigorous private school and they believe everyone kid admitted is gifted. I'm not sure anyone at the school realizes there are kids well above, well above average.


    Philip Stone
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    I don't like "gifted" either. How about "asynchronous" or "highly asynchronous"?.


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    Originally Posted by ashley
    But, the kicker is that they won't use the word "gifted" officially. I am using the words "high ability learner" along with "quick thinker" and "high work ethic, focus and concentration" as substitutes for the G-word. Any other words or phrases that will help me to convey what I want to say? TIA.

    I would use numbers instead of words. Have you considered an out-of-level test (EXPLORE, SAT, ACT...) to get hard data on what your child can do in various subjects?

    Some teachers are never going to understand the full range of "gifted" that exists. But having numbers that say "child is achieving at the 10th grade level" can help them see what should happen.

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    Have you checked out the articles database on the Davidson website (working with schools or advocacy areas, I think)? There are some good articles that were helpful for us, in fact, I brought some with me and hit the highlights during a meeting last year at school.

    Words that we have used that seem to have conveyed the situation well enough:
    Asynchronous learner (used this to get around the "but he doesn't behave" sorts of objections as well as to describe how far ahead of age peers he is)
    We shared testing results and put them into context (i.e., how many kids in x,000)
    Exceptionally good memory, requires very little repetition (but still does require some instruction)
    High ability learner

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    aeh Offline
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    Perhaps using quantitative terms may help: in the top 1 in 1000 in math-related abilities, in the top 1 in 100 in verbal ability, etc.


    ...pronounced like the long vowel and first letter of the alphabet...

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