Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional need help covering (another) base

We have accommodations in 504 for:

1) teachers initialing planner
2) learning lab (study hall teacher) sends DS for initials if DS forgot to get them
3) teachers communicating with me each week
4) teachers keeping assignments in gradebook up to date (recording assignments made within 24 hours)
5) one extra class period (two days) to turn in assignments for full credit
6) Scan/email assignments

Twice already, DS has failed to bring home assignments he needed to work on over the weekend. One didn't fit in his backpack and was lost (and then found on Monday, with me going into school with him and retracing his steps).

The second (this weekend) is a project the student worked on in library on computers. DS says his is complete. Teacher told me in email it's complete. But DS was supposed to either submit it electronically for her to print OR send it home electronically for him to proofread/print. DS did neither, and claimed that he wasn't allowed to go to library on Friday, so that's why he didn't do it. My informed-hunch is he completely spaced it and didn't ask, or made the assumption that since they aren't usually allowed to go the library on Friday, he didn't ask or discuss this with the teacher.

I think this is the DS behavior that makes me the closest to just throwing in the towel.

This one, I can't help him fix, because students aren't allowed to use the library before/after school--so even if I marched him in, we couldn't get access.

I considered asking him to re-do the assignment from home this weekend but couldn't *quite* bring myself to do it. I've emailed the teacher and explained. If he doesn't get it home tomorrow (or submit it to teacher), I guess I'll just have to make him do it again.

I think he needs direct instruction/support at school (as in, an IEP goal) but since we don't have that--what can I do in the mean time?

I am 100% certain this is an attention/skill-based problem but that doesn't make it any less frustrating. And, worse, I can't even tell if he understands why this is problematic.

I agree. And you can ask for that to be put into place even before the IEP as part of an RTI process (response to intervention). They may say no at first, but I would ask them about RTI and see what they say; it should be on the table.

(And of course, if it works, RTI says they should keep doing it.)

At minimum, a check-in at the end of the day to make sure (I mean *really* make sure, not just ask him) that every piece he needs to bring home comes home. On flash drive etc. if not on paper.

Really you want this in study hall, too, so that he knows what he's supposed to be doing and starts to learn to check for himself.


I agree; this is crazy-making. These are buildable skills, but only with direct instruction and support-- otherwise he will continue to flail.

With empathy,
DeeDee

Yeah, I have this pipe dream that now that I have a better understanding, I can immediately begin helping DS learn some of this at home--but then these things just derail me. What difference does it make if he can't even manage to turn in his work? (I know that sounds self-pitying, but it's so frustrating!) I really think we are operating from ground zero. I am trying to teach him things he should have learned years ago, but didn't, because A) I allowed it and B) he always seemed to be succeeding at school.

I will call the SPED process coordinator and ask about RTI--is that under IDEA and not ADA? (Different people in charge of each.)

Is this the ASD or the ADHD (or is that a stupid question?) It seems like his medication is working, no behavioral issues reported at all--and even better, he does not seem to be having issues with side effects. I'm asking because I wonder if meds were working optimally, if this would be less problematic. I don't know if it's that he isn't hearing directions, or the "turn in" piece simply does not compute.

This has always been a problem, except in classes where the routine stays exactly the same every day--or where the teacher prompts all students for homework. It feels more ASD to me (very scientific, yes?) but I can't articulate my reasons.

This is a difficult one to explain to the teachers, since I don't even get it. At all.

I don't know how it is in every state, but in this one only some of the schools do RTI (ours does not). Some schools require an RTI process before they would make a student eligible for an IEP (at least with some disabilities, like learning disabilities). They plan interventions, track progress, and then only write an IEP if the student does not improve X amount.

Did you have a meeting yet and did they say anything about an IEP?

And what medication do you have him on? I tried a trial without guanfacine and am seeing what I think is a deterioration. I want to give it a couple more days then add it back in. That's wonderful that you aren't having any med problems or side effects from meds!

eco, does your ds ride the bus to/from school or does someone pick him up? If someone picks him up, I'd seriously have that person not just pick him up, but go into school, ask him to tell them what he did in each class that day, show him what is on his homework list for each class (and be sure he's got it written down), and then check his backpack and locker to be sure he has all of the books/etc he needs to do his homework, as well as a clear understanding of what his homework is before he leaves school. Also double-check to make sure yesterday's homework was turned in and not still hanging out somewhere in his backpack or locker. I know that this will sound like a lot of time and way-helicoptery to parents of kids who don't have organizational challenges, and also may sound like a crutch *plus* it may sound like it's exactly what the school should already be doing but..... I'll explain why below


He *might* have learned these things years ago *if* he was a neurotypical kid with no challenges. OTOH, he might not have. Organizational demands increase with middle school and it's not unusual for even nt kids to have challenges with the increased demands of different expectations in different classes. It's a really tough challenge for kids who have organizational challenges. The reason I suggested what I did above is because my dyspraxic ds is extremely challenged with the organizational demands of *life* (not just school :)). When he was transitioning from elementary (where he'd had organizational goals on his IEP and was still not handing in homework etc) to a different middle school I was where you're at, wondering how the heck he was ever going to make any progress as opposed to just drowning in the increased organizational demands. Somewhere around that time I read a post online from a mother of a student with significant organizational challenges who'd hired a college student to pick her ds up from school, do all the things I mentioned above every single day before they left school. It took them I think three or more years (most of high school) before her ds really "got it" - but he did eventually get it. My ds was not happy about it - he hated having me check his locker - but that also gave him an extra incentive to work extra hard at figuring it out for himself. I set goals based on increasing levels of responsibility - if we didn't find anything left behind in his locker check for x # of weeks, I agreed to pul back to a once-per-week locker check etc. Things like that. It took my ds about one year with a bit of refresher just to make sure the next year, but his homework organization did "happen". It just took a lot of repeating and showing him how to do it. I don't know if it makes a difference "why" the challenge - I know for my ds that dyspraxia interrupts a person's ability to develop automaticity with certain life skills, and for my ds organizational skills was a part of that, so he needed lots of repeats. It might not be the same for your ds, but fwiw, the person who'd posted the note about this online originally had a ds who had Aspergers and ADHD (if I remember correctly).


RTI stands for "Response to Intervention" and is the process schools use to implement instruction *before* a student falls far enough behind in a challenge area to require an IEP. I'd start with the IDEA/IEP contact in your school's SPED department.


I suspect it's a true challenge that would be present with or without meds. I mentioned my ds is dyspraxic (not ADHD or ASD), and I've also mentioned here before how our neuropsych has a venn diagram that shows the separation and overlap in symptoms between dyspraxia/adhd/asd - and the overlap is significant. Organizational challenges are right there in the middle of the overlap. It might not be possible to sort out is it the ADHD or the ASD - and it might not matter - in either case your ds most likely needs, as DeeDee mentioned, direct instruction and support. If the meds he's on appear to be working otherwise, I wouldn't second-guess and think would another combo/dose/whatever of meds help, I'd start with stepping up the instruction.


This has been very true for my ds, and continues to be true. He's in high school and doing much better with keeping track of his work, but he still does better with keeping up with organization in classes with teachers who are very structured and repetitive in their work expectations. One part of that is simply that it's more structured - I think in reality a more repetitive structure is easier for *any* of us to handle, no matter how well organized we are For a student who's challenged with organizational skills, having that structure is a built-in form of support. For my ds, it was great that he had one teacher like that each year of school from middle school on (it's usually been his math class because math is always taught from a textbook, relies heavily on homework for each topic, and doesn't require projects or a lot of deep introspective work lol!). The great thing about having at least one class like this is it gives the organizationally-challenged student one place to be successful and realize that *yes*, they CAN do it. It also helped, I think, eventually, my ds start to understand how to approach other classes by building in some routine of his own to his organizational approach.


I think the teachers probably understand it more than you realize. They aren't going to *tell* you they understand it, and they are most likely (in their minds) too busy with too many students to deal with it, but I'm fairly certain that every secondary school teacher out there has at least 2-3 students per year who are seriously organizationally challenged.

I totally understand how crazy this can make a parent feel - I've so been there! Still am many times!!! The thing that I do when it starts to really get to me is to remember how frustrating it must be for my ds, because it really and truly does not come naturally to him and is something that he has had to have taught.

Hang in there!

polarbear

Talk to the process coordinator-- it's part of IDEA 2004, but the flow of money is more complicated in ways I don't entirely understand.

The upshot of RtI is "don't delay help until the IEP identification process is finished-- try an appropriate evidence-based intervention first and see if it works."


The meds will enable him to learn the skills-- but they will not replace or activate missing skills.

You are going to have to teach him (and get school to teach him) to do this. It's a big job. But it can be done.


I think it's a mix. Not knowing that an indirect prompt applies to oneself is very ASD. Not caring, once the work is done, whether anyone else has seen it (because we *know* it's done...) is very ASD. Not remembering to turn things in can be ADHD or ASD.

Point is, regardless of where it comes from, it needs to be worked on-- it's an essential functional skill. (NB functional skills are covered under IDEA.)

We do have RTI in our state; however, I don't know if RTI includes any actual pull-out or push-in services, or if it's all about the existing teachers trying interventions. Arguably, they are doing this with the accommodations. I think he needs an actual, trained, SPED teacher who understands the EF stuff because it is severe, and he is not responding whatsoever to the standard stuff--basically, what's happening right now is that I am over-functioning and teachers are accommodating and DS is still unaffected and not learning the organizational skills.


I think this may be the most profound thing I've ever read about medication. Very meaningful. Thank you.

Yes, I agree. I am still trying to conceptualize ASD and I think the reason it feels more ASD to me is that it feels like it's actually kind of a social skill, as much as an organizational issue. DD, for instance, would look around and notice what other students were doing and do the same, if she were confused. She talks on the phone with her friends about assignments, asks questions, etc. Some of this is probably influenced by gender.
But I think boys, too, would generally notice what their peers were doing in the classroom--especially if they were interacting! And DS is social, he has friends he chats with during class, etc.

I think the autism is what's making it so hard to communicate with DS about this issue, and is the more frustrating part, because I can't seem to get through to him. He does not appear at all anxious about any of this--very matter of fact. He would totally freak out, though, if he was removed from the program.

Yes, (third) request for evaluation is in process. I think there is a better chance of getting IEP now, with the NP report that is filled with teacher data about functional behavior.

I will PM you on the med thing! It is a huge relief to see him balanced. I hope it lasts. I'm not sure how much puberty interfered last year, but I think it was part of the problem.

He rides the bus home. I was hoping to hire someone for after-school this year, but it's not financially feasible at this time. It might be later in the year. For now, the extended time makes it so I can do this--except it's in the morning (the next day) and while that prevents collateral damage, it's not helping him learn the skills. My busiest work time is right after school so I can't do pick up.


Yes, it's math where he manages to stay on top of things. He doesn't really like math. He prefers the less structured classes, ironically, but I think that's because he likes to be left alone to goof around with buddies and create his own projects (a constant battle).He doesn't seem frustrated! I think that makes it even more frustrating. He does not seem to speak the language of organization. He will look at me and parrot back the "right answer" and then just wander off. Ugh! The only way to get his attention is to get very emotional and explain to him that his placement is in danger. He will get upset if I'm upset, but otherwise it's a lost cause. NOT the way I like to operate.

We do have RTI in our state; however, I don't know if RTI includes any actual pull-out or push-in services, or if it's all about the existing teachers trying interventions. Arguably, they are doing this with the accommodations. I think he needs an actual, trained, SPED teacher who understands the EF stuff because it is severe, and he is not responding whatsoever to the standard stuff--basically, what's happening right now is that I am over-functioning and teachers are accommodating and DS is still unaffected and not learning the organizational skills..........

RTI in our state has tiers...tier one is like you said the teacher trying easy things...tier two is more intensive and might include a teacher assistant or the teacher working one on one or in a small group on the intervention....tier three is most intensive. The idea if tier one works, hey great. If it doesn't, then you are going to keep giving more help until you find what works...many kids you can avoid IEP because you aren't waiting for them to get so far behind...you are giving them just the boost they need. Other kids it proves, hey, this is a significant skill deficit/disability and needs specialized instruction (and it isn't just a character flaw).

Oh if someone could private message me with instructions on how to quote just one paragraph while on an iPad I would really apprecitate it. I can quote a whole thing and then delete massive amounts of texts....but nobody has time for that. How can I highlight just one paragraph and then just quote that (iPad method).

Thanks in advance.

RtI is a framework that crosses general and special education. Not only is it supposed to be "don't wait until the IEP process is finished", but also "don't withhold help because a child doesn't qualify for an IEP".

Tier 1 is a quality, evidence-based core curriculum implemented with fidelity for all students. For academics, this means using a research-supported reading, math, etc. curriculum, such as a reading curriculum with explicit instruction in the Big 5 reading skills, including phonological processing and phonics. For behavior, this could be a class/school-wide positive behavior support system. For EF, this might be agendabooks, organizers, or online assignment-tracking and communication systems (like edline or teacherweb), scaffolding/benchmarks for multi-part assignments that the teacher presents to the whole class.

Basically, anything that is presented to every student is tier 1. Teachers skilled in UDL (universal design for learning) tend to have a great many strategies usually thought of as tier 2 already programmed into their tier 1 instruction.

Tier 2 is usually standardized small group interventions. These may be pull-out, push-in, or implemented by the regular teacher. Academic examples would be grouping reading instruction by high, middle, low reading levels, or pull-out remedial reading instruction. An EF (or behavior) example might be having a list of children on check-in/check-out of some kind, such as initialing the agendabook, or collecting homework for all subjects first thing in the morning (before they have a chance to get lost).

Tier 3 is more intensive individualized interventions. A minority of schools actually offer OG or Wilson reading as an RtI tier 3 intervention. An individualized behavior support plan would be tier 3. I'd put developing and monitoring a personal organization flow for homework completion and return in tier 3.

Hypothetically, tier 3 supports should be available to any student who needs them regardless of sped status, but in practice, demonstrating need for tier 3 interventions tends to put children onto the IEP/504 track.

Thanks, I've been researching this morning and had concluded the same thing. I think the interventions are more Tier 2-ish, but since they are being done for him, individually, perhaps that makes it Tier 3 (informally--we have not discussed RTI). I sensed the HS teachers are accustomed to doing these interventions, while the MS teachers are not. The difference between regular ed and gifted ed, perhaps?

I think he is being evaluated this time. I received different (more) paperwork to fill out and it refers to "screening as we begin to evaluate your child."

If he is being formally evaluated, you should also have received a copy of parental rights with regard to special education. (Usually says something like "Notice of Parental Rights" or "Due Process Rights" across the top of it, in big letters.) Also a cover letter explaining the district's proposed actions, and a signature page that lists the areas to be evaluated (preferably with names of actual instruments on it, but not required).

No cover letter, but received "Parents' Bill of Rights" and Procedural Safeguards Notice.

So perhaps not, on the formal evaluation, yet.

My district produces that sheet about 2-3 weeks after the meeting where everyone looks at each other and says "yes, we need to evaluate this kid." They then call this the formal consent, not the parent in the meeting saying in the meeting in front of 12 witnesses "I consent to evaluate the child. I've written it down in a letter signed in blood that I'm handing over now." They seem to do this to buy them an extra few weeks to get it all done.

I talked to sped processor and she said the RTI process is usually more for elementary level students, and that the accommodations we have on 504 are similar to what they would do, at any rate.

I couldn't get a clear sense from her what she thinks of DS' organizational issues--although she did mention these are "difficult to teach." She said the same thing about social skills, in the 504 meeting. She did use the "functional" term, more than once, which is what I emphasized in my request for evaluation letter.

Said it before, I'll say it again. DS needs direct instruction, not only accommodations, to remediate the deficient skills. This is not merely 504 accommodations; this is IEP services.


IMO this word is key for getting help for 2Es. IEPs cover both academic and functional skills. You can type "functional" into the search box at wrightslaw for ammunition...

I did! My request letter is riddled with functional language, on your advice!

I'm a little wary. She also mentioned that autism comes in many flavors and some end up being billionaires, executives of Fortune 500 companies. She was probably just being nice--but I kind of wanted to ask--do you think Bill Gates' mom followed him around middle school? :P

I'm bumping this because I don't know what to do right now.

Can anyone advise on the "not turning in work" issue? Right now, it is one class. Not just homework, in-class assignments are stuffed into the binder and not submitted. DS cannot explain his process.

We (I) am scanning and emailing everything in this class and so he is receiving credit, but this is a mess.

His grades are fine but wouldn't be in this class if I weren't doing this.

Also: the "initials in planner" accommodation, evidently, is a problem because the coordinator said so--she said DS isn't doing this and is being sent back every study hall to get initials. I just ended up saying "we can remove that accommodation if it is unnecessarily irritating." To which she replied: "no, I think we should continue, maybe he will eventually get it." Okay--but can we not call it a "problem," then? <--this makes me assume that the teacher is annoyed and doesn't want to do the accommodation.

The same teacher in whose class DS isn't turning in completed work is the one he has for study hall and who is responsible for checking the planner.

DS turns in classwork where there is a system in place but my guess is that is a teacher prompting the whole class. I don't know what's different about this class. We are going to meet (teacher, me, DS) next week to reinforce classroom procedures. DS can't tell me anything useful.

I am reading Smart but Scattered but can't find anything about this particular, extremely frustrating, difficult to understand issue.

*If* he ends up with an IEP (and I won't be holding my breath), I think someone at school can help with this. In the mean time--I don't know what to do. He has agreed to read the Smart but Scattered book with me to strategize.

Should I just resign myself to scanning every piece of work he does in this class, not being able to understand what he writes (when he writes) in his planner, not being able to communicate with him about it, and just doing damage control?

Has anyone ever tried anything like this:

http://watchminder.com

We have "buy in" in terms of he understands if he doesn't maintain a C or above in every class, he is out of his program. He wants to stay in the program because he likes the school and his friends and he would have to leave.

Buy in on the planner? None. He doesn't understand its purpose, or how it would be useful, or why he needs to do this. Nor can he explain why he doesn't--although he recognizes my frustration, and apologizes with lots of hugs and "I love yous."

He is also very fatigued by the end of the day and is hard to engage. He seems to have a real need to check-out and "introvert" for awhile after school, but if I give him that option, it's really difficult to re-engage him.

He is not objecting to doing homework but there hasn't been a lot, yet. At this point, the big problem is that in one class, he is not turning in his completed work. I see a couple of other red flags (short responses to questions that don't explain enough), but when I walk him through "what the teacher expects," he is willing to go back and elaborate.

It doesn't seem like a compliance/defiance issue but a disconnect.

Mine both wear watches with alarms set. DD wears a vibrating one, but DS requires it to be audible for him (or rather, likely, the kid sitting next to him) to respond. Neither watch is as fancy as the one you found, but the key feature is to have multiple alarm settings possible (DS requires up to 4). Buy in is probably also important here, too. Both my kids have independently asked to have the watch to help them with remembering things during the school day.

Okay. It sounds like buy in is a big component. I can't think of what would motivate DS, other than screens. So maybe I could tell him he will earn screen time by filling in his planner effectively and turning in assignments?

I can't bring myself to completely take away his computer time, punitively. He has multiple projects that are actually enrichment for him (video editing, an online "build your own country" simulation), and he also seems to really need music for his emotional regulation.

I guess I could allow a certain amount of time per day and he has to earn the extra?

The most frustrating part is that I know he wants to succeed--he is not being negative or resistant, but just doesn't seem to get it on the "turn in work" and "use planner" part. He seems to think that those are things he does for other people and not himself.

I would be very, very careful if this is his main form of entertainment/unwinding. You don't want to end up in a situation where he doesn't earn, gets angry at himself, and spirals downward instead of upward. (Ask me how I know this.... )

Does your DS generally respond to rewards? Some kids do, some don't.

DS13 does, but ultimately what was powerful for him with schoolwork was success. We said, "We are going to help you do this right so you can see how well you can succeed." Then we did everything we could (including putting help into place at school and making clear to DS what that was for) to help him get things done.

Eventually (and it did take a while) he did finally see that when he gets the planner checked, he IS less frustrated and DOES do the work better and DOES get better grades. This learning is not fast.


Then I wouldn't touch this.

Things to try:
--Homework to turn in goes in a clear folder so he can see it in there.
--Homework to turn in gets brightly colored tape flags
--As each item is handed in, it gets crossed off in the planner. At day's end, anything not crossed off needs to be found and turned in.

Ultimately, there is a limit on what you can do from home. (This is all I've got.) What helped DS was regular support at school plus the accommodation of emailing work.

The only reward DS is responsive to is verbal praise and relationships (people liking/affirming him). That is sad and ironic.

I have a cache of folders. Will try the clear one for homework.

FWIW, I'm relieved you don't recommend taking away his computer time. I don't think the EF stuff is within his control right now so punishing doesn't make sense.

He's not fighting homework so that is progress already. I introduced the vibrating watch idea, he's chewing on that one (but initial reaction was NO!--alarms are one of his older phobias--I'd forgotten that. He really hates surprises of any sort).

I think I need to decide for myself not to sweat the scanning for now. And maybe map out my own IEP at home. Not feeling a lot of support from the gifted component of his program, but the high school side is running quite well. Also sad and ironic. I know their position is he shouldn't be in the program if he can't hack it. Mine is we'd have these issues anywhere in MS so he should at least have challenging curriculum.

Eco, I just finished The Learning Habit last week, and one point it makes is that it distinguishes between creative screen time and consumer screen time, and that kids tend to binge excessively on consumer screen time, not creative screen time. (No one stays up all night making Powerpoints - at least not for fun.) It sounds like he is doing a fair amount of creative screen time, and I'd avoid taking that away.

I like DeeDee's idea of the bright tape flags. If you can find enough colors, I'd do it like this:

Each class has a color. Finished homework gets a tape flag of the appropriate color. If a class has no homework to turn in, a tape flag of that class' color goes on the front of the planner (or a designated page inside if they tend to fall off the front). As he turns homework in, he is to take the tape flag off and put it on the front of his planner. At the end of the day, if he doesn't have a flag of every color on his planner, he should look for missing homework assignments to turn them in (he can do this while he is getting his planner initialed).

Places where this could fall apart - he forgets to take the tape flags back off his homework, he (or you, at the start) forgets to "reset" the flags at the start of the day, he forgets to look for the tape flags at the end of the day. Possible solutions - he could ask the teachers if he left the tape flag on his homework when he goes to get their initials at the end of the day, you could set some kind of timer in the evenings to do the "reset" for he next day, you could arrange for his study hall teacher to help/remind him to check his flags.

One system worth looking at is HOPS - it's a very structured school-based intervention aimed at disorganized middle school kids, one that is supported by research. If you could get the school to implement it, that would be great. Even reading what it says about the order of steps and how long it takes to implement would be an improvement.

Good luck!

eco, we've had very similar issues with our ds not turning in completed homework in some classes but not others. With our ds, it truly was a *disconnect*. There's something simply missing in the EF process. The key that helped us most was to pay attention to what worked - i.e., what was going on in the classes where ds was able to remember to turn in his work etc - and then look at what was different about the class where it wasn't getting turned in.

Repetition was also key for our ds (still is). It might not be for your ds - with our ds it is related to his disability - there are things that don't come to him automatically without a *lot* of repetition. If this were our ds, I'd guess that there must be something going on in the class he's having trouble with that isn't consistent - i.e., different types of homework assignments or homework not assigned consistently everyday, perhaps the teacher doesn't leave a list of the day's homework assignment on the board etc.

It was also always easier for our ds to turn in homework if there was an obvious place that was always the same to turn it in, and if other kids were also turning in homework, or if the teacher asked everyone to turn it in when they were all at their desks.


I wonder if this isn't a component of his disability - do you have any indications he has issues with expressive language? My ds has an expressive language disorder, and sometimes it's really subtle in how it shows. Your description of your ds giving the short responses that don't explain enough but elaborating when you question in detail sounds very much like my ds. The gotcha for my ds is he doesn't really understand what is expected in the response to open-ended questions. You can see it in his writing, too. However, when you give him a structure, lead him through the specifics of what you are expecting in a reply, he's fine. And there *is* a lot of information in his head that is worth taking the time to pull out!


I would be very, very careful if this is his main form of entertainment/unwinding. You don't want to end up in a situation where he doesn't earn, gets angry at himself, and spirals downward instead of upward. (Ask me how I know this.... )
[/quote=DeeDee]

I'd also not give a punitive consequence. I suspect that what's happening is related to his disability. Taking away something that he loves and that is relaxing due to an issue that he doesn't know how to deal with and is most likely frustrated over isn't going to accomplish anything other than, as DeeDee mentioned, get angry at himself.


We tried many different things over the years (and had to try different things in different years, different classes too). It's frustrating and it takes time. For us, the clear folder idea is working for getting assignments turned in. DS has notebooks for each class, and he has a clear folder in the front of each notebook, and after he completes his homework it goes into the correct subject folder. When he's in class the next day, he checks the clear folder for work to be turned in.

Another thing that helps with our ds is that he keyboards everything, so his homework and classwork can be put into class folders on his computer, and he does turn homework in by email in some classes. If there's ever a question from a teacher about missing work, he can pull it up from his computer folder, and can always re-forward an email that he's used to mail his work in the first time (with the original date on the forwarded email). DS has the keyboarding accommodations due to dysgraphia, but I wonder if keyboarding might not also be helpful for a student with EF challenges.

You mentioned you are scanning in his homework and emailing it. I'd have *him* do the scanning and emailing. It's a good skill set to have in his toolbox, plus it's something he should be able to do. Having him do it will reinforce that it's his responsibility.

One last note - the thing that has worked best for our ds other than repetition (repeated repeated repeated repetition) - is success. And time. I think it was geofizz who mentioned that her ds didn't see the connection between homework being turned in and grades. My ds didn't see the connection between homework not being turned in and the teacher not seeing it. He just made that connection last spring - in *9th* grade. And he's a smart smart smart kid who makes amazing connections in other areas... he just simply thought (mostly subconsciously) that his teachers were seeing his homework even though he didn't physically return it to them. I never realized he wasn't making that connection, and there was no teachable moment type of realization tip that I can pass on to you - it just happened one day, the light bulb went off on a concept that most kids figure out in early elementary school. And it didn't necessarily solve all of the organizational issues overnight, but it did help when he made that connection

Best wishes,

polarbear

is there a reason that particular teacher can't ask him for his completed work at the end of each class period? When he gets initials, she says "where is your work?" and he goes through his stuff to get it? Then put in the 504 that he has additional time to get to the next class?

My kids are obsessed with screens and during the summer I'm looser, but during the school year they simply don't get any screen time until they get done A,B, and C (like homework, chores, etc.). Then the screens are a reward (rather than taking them away a punishment). So you could go through his stuff at home and make him scan/email any work (with you supervising) before he can do X or Y on the screens. I'm not saying take ALL screen time away before he does these things, but maybe some aspect of it, like game playing. I don't know--just a thought. It's really the only thing I can do to motivate my two. Maybe if he has to scan/email himself, at some point it will click that it's not much fun, and he will be better at remembering to turn it in.

Also, make sure you save all the emails submitting late work. You can use them as documentation that educational performance is affected. Make sure they know that YOU are helping to get the work submitted. Because otherwise they can say that if he is able to get scanned work in, there is no problem. Yes, there is, because you can't/shouldn't have to continue to do this for a 12 year old. He doesn't have the organizational skills necessary to function in certain classes up to the level of peers. Basically they are expecting YOU to do what a special ed teacher should be doing at the school.

ElizabethN, you beat me to it! I would second HOPS.

I will look at the HOPS program. I don't hold out much hope that the school will implement anything, especially since it's been communicated that sending DS to gather initials during study hall is a problem.

I like the color coding, etc., ideas but there's no way he could do that at this point. Right now, it's that he can't remember to do anything--nor can he explain why not, just that he forgets. He knows where things are and I've been putting sticky notes on them but still...nothing happens.
ALL of this.

He can't explain the class procedure. He states that it is different from day to day, when I ask for very concrete information (what do you do when you walk in class? etc.) I asked him where he is supposed to put assignments--he said "hand them to Mr. History Teacher." When? He's not sure.

I asked if assignments are on board--he originally stated NO, but now says they are, but in a "different section" and what he's been writing down is under Agenda. That's why he's been writing "Genghis Khan Stuff" in his "agenda" instead of actually copying the assignment. (This is maddening.)

As for expressive language--I don't know, but there is something going on with language. I don't know if it's purely pragmatic. Here is an example:

Q: How did Japan's geography influence the diet of the people?
DS writes: They ate fish.

When I asked him to elaborate, he said: it's an island. I asked for more, he said: because it's an island, they are surrounded by water, and fish are plentiful. When I told him that's what he needs to write, he said that is dumb, anybody would understand what he meant when he said "they ate fish." I told him that makes him look like he's being lazy and he had no idea why that would be.

Another one, that I can't remember exact words:
Q: Why would Ruler So-and-So use X (a God) in his laws?
DS: Because the people were idiots.

Seriously! I told DS first, he should never use "idiot" in a class assignment because it is rude and judgmental. Then I asked him what he meant. He was able to explain it was because the ruler could use the belief system of the people to manipulate them, but it was like pulling teeth to get that answer. All he could think was "those people were so stupid" and that's all he really had to say about that.

His answers are so bizarre.

There is no way they will put this in the 504, because it is DS' responsibility (and mine). There is no accommodation in his 504 that goes beyond good teaching practice (keeping up gradebook, answering my emails), with the exception of initialing planner--and now that is a problem. I don't think they want to give him any real accommodations. I think this is about culling him from the herd. My friends' 2E son who is not in FT gifted has all kinds of accommodations--but that is in regular ed, not special programming.

As for the scanning/emailing bit: I had every intention of making DS do that part--but now we are spending way too much time just figuring out what is in his planner, doing assignments, and now (this new problem) trying to figure out what he was SUPPOSED to have turned in *during* class (not homework, but in-class assignments are coming home, completed) that is now in his backpack. There hasn't been time, yet, to teach him the whole scanning piece. It's very time consuming, because each page has to be scanned separately and then pasted into MSW, then exported as PDF and emailed. Because sending the scans as separate jpegs confused the history teacher and he wasn't seeing the full assignment (and was grading it as incomplete).

We are really starting from scratch. He is doing his work and is not losing handouts but that is about all I can see has improved.

I really don't think it would be possible for him to be less organized. He is always several steps behind everyone else (literally and figuratively). I think this is a really complex problem--maybe it's all EF related, probably. But it's like pretty much every area of EF is impaired.

This is a perspective-taking problem. He knows the teacher knows this information, so there is no point in his telling her.

At the same time, he also cannot imagine someone else NOT having the information HE has in his head-- so again, no point explaining. The whole thing feels darned ridiculous to him.

We had a lot of trouble with "show your work" in math, as well. In elementary DS used to write "My brain told me the answer." Um, yeah.

This level of "efficiency" would be hilarious if it weren't so disabling.

We have worked through "pretend someone doesn't know the answer and write it on your paper like you're explaining it to THAT person" and "I know the teacher knows, but tell it to her anyway, because she has to have PROOF that you know before she is allowed to let you move on. Those are the rules that the teachers go by."


BTDT. And yes, largely EF. Best bet right now is to support what you can and document every problem.

The clock is ticking on their educational eval, yes? Do you know whether they will accept your outside neuropsych report in lieu of testing?

I am feeling the sooner they upgrade your DS to an IEP, the better. He needs the services.

Okay--so I did actually LOL (gallows humor) reading this, thank you. Part of the problem is that it's easy for me to understand (because of the whole apple/tree thing) his process, so it's fairly easy to know how to help him elaborate. I hope I can convince the teacher that he really isn't being a smart @$$. That is the problem.

I'm going to use this. DS is crazy about his 6-year old cousin and very patient with him, so I will tell him to pretend he is explaining to his cousin. I think he can do that.


If I understood correctly, they will accept the NP report, diagnostically. I want a speech/language evaluation and stated that in my letter. I think he needs further testing and specific interventions for social communication.

I also think he should work with a special ed teacher during study hall on the EF stuff. And a behavior plan. Etc., etc., etc.

I guess the clock is ticking. I think they have 30 days from the time I request the eval to respond. After that, the time frame is unclear--maybe it's 60 days? So we have a long way to go.

OTOH--if DS can make it through this year without getting a D in anything--his probationary status in the gifted program is lifted. So for eighth grade, there wouldn't be this gauntlet hanging over his head and I could back off a little and see what works and what doesn't.

That's really the most stressful part of all this. If he is removed from the program, I'll have no idea where to go with him, since he's in both MS and HS classes right now (but more HS).

This! The first one is my DD9 and the second one is my DS12. I figured out last year on DD's reading comprehension assignments that she reads the question, thinks "......................" that much about it, and writes "..." a piece from the middle. Which makes no sense whatsoever, unless you can unpack it and see the long string of thought that it came out of.

We're still fighting the battle with DS about having to show the teacher that you know stuff, because (in his case) she has never even met him and knows absolutely nothing about him or what he knows about anything -- if it doesn't show up in the work, she doesn't know he knows it.

And DeeDee, my DS has always been that one who puts "because I know it" on the line for "how do you know?" Or "because I'm smart." Or "because that's the answer." And in many cases, I've been at a loss to see what else he might be supposed to say. How do you explain how you know that 7 plus 5 equals 12? Because it does.

Eco, I am so with you in this.

BTW, 30 days is for completing the evaluation, in most states, not just responding to the request. The timeline shouldn't be more than 60 days from end to end.

ETA: of course, those are school days, not calendar days.

Totally off topic, but once on a worksheet, there was a "workspace" and a box for the answer. DD wrote the answer in the box, and wrote "dining room table" in the workspace.

More on topic, eco, to your examples (and Nautigal, too), again, I view these things through a lens of expressive speech as much as perspective taking, and I see a lot of not knowing what to say and covering for it by saying it's dumb, obvious, or idiotic. We've seen great progress through systematically teaching how to provide presuppositional information. The SLP defined "presuppositional" first, they went through a series of exercises identifying what in a statement was the presuppositional information, and then practiced adding such statements to answers. It was done speaking first, and as DS has gotten much better at this, we've worked on integrating the skills into his writing.

It's good to have some company, even though I'm sorry you are dealing with this, too! What's strange is that DS does not seem to have advanced one iota in this through all the years of school. These answers look the same as they did in K. It was cute back then...

I asked history teacher if he will print DS' assignments and give feedback (i.e. let us know which ones he counted wrong) but have not heard back. He's suddenly getting much lower scores on his assignments. This is all pretty disconcerting.

This is good information! It's impossible to understand all of this stuff.

HAHAHA on the workspace. I really do love these answers. I can't help it. I don't like the "they are idiots" ones DS defaults to on his papers but that should be easily remedied.

I *really* hope that DS can get some SL therapy at school. If he can't, I'm going to take him to the university clinic. I do think there is something going on with his language but do not understand any of this well enough to speculate about it. I can tell it's very difficult for him to interpret questions I ask him about things (especially open-ended) but he can chatter away endlessly and coherently about his interests.

As an aside: one of the things NP noted on her ADOS report was that DS made odd observations about a picture that he was supposed to "tell a story about," including "that airplane doesn't have a practical design, its nose is too rounded" and "that person has only four fingers" among others. She said he did a great job using a lot of expression and drama in his voice, with accents, but was unable to produce a cohesive narrative. I am not 100% sure he couldn't do this task, if given a lot of time and some leading questions, but he is definitely not quick-on-the-draw with things like this. He does write creative stories for fun, and writes well, but they are plot-driven (linear). And I admit he rarely finishes one.

She called that a perspective-taking issue, I think, too. I can't remember all of it.

What do we think of history teacher so far? Would he/she be amenable to a meeting?

That meeting would include expression of concern, desire to improve; and informal coaching on what the ASD diagnosis means. "We know DS has trouble with this kind of questions; can you tell us exactly what a good answer would look like so we can coach him better at home?"

This is part of establishing that DS is not lazy or stupid; he is struggling because of his disability. It may be good to give the teachers a chance to do the right thing, unless they have already sworn to do the wrong thing and kick DS out of school.

We are meeting next week after school, with DS. I told teacher I wanted to go over classroom procedures with DS, reinforce routines and expectations for behavior.

As for the teacher? I actually feel kind of sorry for him. Yet again, the district gifted admin (who makes hiring decisions) has hired a brand-new teacher (I don't even know what his certification is in) to work in this weird program with little to no mentoring or support. He didn't even have a curriculum to use until last week.

DS thinks the teacher is fair and unbiased (although difficult to read) and I hope he is correct! Until last week, all reports were positive regarding DS. When I asked for more detail in the planner (and cc'd the onsite coordinator--different person, not admin) is when I received the flood of ick. And it wasn't actually from the teacher. I'm not sure but it wouldn't surprise me if he was completely blindsided that his casual report to the coordinator was then communicated to me as if all hell had broken loose.

I showed my sister all this weird communication (I could write a novel, it was strange and indicated some bcc'ing going on, etc.) from last week and her take is, basically, that the coordinator is on the defense. I didn't mean for that to happen but I guess that's the way it goes.

I'm really worn out with it all. I think DS has been doing so much better this year, and we have one small problem that shouldn't be that difficult to fix if everyone just relaxes a little bit--while waiting to see if he can receive services. He clearly needs them--I've never implied that this is a problem with the teachers, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't tweak things here and there if it makes life easier for everyone.

I love this story. So literal, so apt, so unhelpful in the homework context...

Indeed. It is wearying. You see your kid make progress, and yet by then the standards and expectations have risen so that he's "behind" them again.

Keep noting the progress he makes by HIS yardstick, not the world's. Look back a year or three and note that things are different now. You are doing a great job supporting him, and it's important for your well-being and his that his progress be acknowledged.

Thank you, DeeDee. I really am going to make my own homespun IEP (goals for DS at home, and measure them) so that I can keep his progress in mind.

He is being much more cooperative, in terms of homework, this year--and yesterday I showed him how to do the scanning. It was much faster for him than it is for me: no surprise there! I still think I have to do some of it during the school week. He is really sluggish after school. I think it exhausts him just keeping himself together during the day.

I am proud of him. The dx has him anxious and upset but he is being generally pleasant and not too resistant to my direction.This is good advice, thank you! I have done my best not to offend everyone but I'm not sure I've succeeded. One problem is email. It's how I'm supposed to communicate but I struggle with it. When I'm all factual, it seems "rude," but when I try to include more subjective info (i.e. "I know this is frustrating") that isn't well received, either.

I do think DS is beginning to buy-in a little but he absolutely HATES the planner--and it is a really important piece of this. He is able to explain what's happening in the classes that are run like clockwork (even with minimal info in planner), but the less structured ones send him into spaced-out orbit, and he either chooses not to explain or is unable. I vacillate between the two conceptualizations. Sometimes he seems unable and sometimes it's unwilling. Unwilling irritates me to no end.

I am also trying to learn all I can about ASD and am in obsessed mode, which is not really helping with (any of our) functioning. It's hard to figure out how to balance everything when I am so worried about him.

Another update: DS and I met with history teacher yesterday to discuss classroom procedures and planner use.

Here is what I observed:

--DS has absolutely no clue which information on the board is relevant to write in his planner.

--The way the teacher writes on the board is difficult to decipher (it's not labeled and is in shorthand, requires making inferences)

--DS behaves like a creature I've never encountered in these situations. He seems extremely wary/guarded and gives non-responsive answers to my questions.

--It was clear to me the teacher wasn't sure exactly what I was doing there (LOL). I told him I wanted to go over classroom expectations so I could review them with DS and reinforce.

--I did my best to advocate by explaining to teacher that it would be very helpful to check for understanding by asking DS to explain/show that he understands, because DS will not ask for help and will say he understands things when he doesn't.

--I also explained that DS is always a few steps behind and to expect that he will not respond as quickly to "pack up your backpack" or "take out your worksheets" as other kids do, and that this is not defiance, but a disconnect.

--I asked the teacher where students are to turn in completed work and his system is for the kids to hand it directly to him. I told DS he should hand in everything (at least for now) because if it's non-graded, there's no harm. I am wondering if DS is a little intimidated by this teacher and it makes him anxious to approach him directly like this.

Any thoughts?

I'm just going to post a little bit here to say that I am having some simialr issues with my DD, also in middle school, who is undiagnosed but kind of ASD/ADHDish. I had some lightbulbs going off because like your son, she is having more trouble in classes with less structure and organization (she has like a 105% in math right now--that teacher has a very defined system!) We are also having issues with not turning things in because there is not a defined time or place for turning in. I think in elementary this was always announced and there was a place where it always went.

I can't decide whether to laugh or cry on this one:

DS missed classes Thursday and so I asked one teacher to please check and make sure DS put a large project in his backpack to bring home and work on over the weekend. DS will lose it if it's not in the backpack--it needed to be rolled, rubber-banded, and packed.

(It's in 504 that teachers check at end of class to make sure he has materials needed--but usually this isn't necessary.)

DS came home yesterday and I asked him about the project. Yes, he brought it home. Finished. He could have turned it in, but since I asked teacher to make sure he brought it home--he brought it home.

Seriously? Now I'm beginning to think the teacher, DS and I are ALL apples/trees. Could we be more literal? I had explained that DS thought his project was complete, but if it wasn't, he would work on it over the weekend.

This is going to be (another) long year. Sigh.

Same experience here. After he got our IEP, the school personnel seemed to lose their ability to think outside the box and instead followed the IEP to the letter even when a strategy wasn't working. I had to call the principal a couple of times to get them to stop doing things that increased DS's anxiety.

One of my biggest issue with staff and teachers (who in general are hard working and underappreciated) is that so many of them don't problem-solve. Instead, they stick to the rules, even arbitrary ones, and punish kids who do not or cannot follow them. This often creates more problems than it solves.

Did the teacher show any sign of understanding or willingness to accommodate?

Just a note: once the accommodations are in the IEP/504, teachers and other school staff are legally obligated to make them available/implement them. If they don't, not only does the school have liability, the teachers have personal liability. Some of the teachers who are aware of this fear that not sticking to the letter of the IEP will come back to bite them (e.g., if it becomes a he said/she said about whether the accommodations were not implemented by the choice of the student/family, or because the teacher failed to offer them).

An IEP service delivery example of this is counseling services for adolescents. We often write counseling in as a consult service, or a low-frequency check-in, rather than weekly pull-out/direct service, for older adolescents with moderate emotional needs, so that the counselor and student have mutually-agreed on discretion to ease off on sessions depending on need and personal development. This allows for greater autonomy and self-advocacy on the part of the student, and recognizes that some children find it stigmatizing to be pulled out constantly, even when they are doing well. Of course, all students are allowed access to school counselors and psychologists, if they need it, so this doesn't prevent more frequent counseling sessions.

Accommodations can be written to emphasize ensuring access to supports, rather than requiring them. Depending on your relationship with the school, this is sometimes undesirable, as it's harder to measure access than implementation. But that would be one way to reassure teachers that they won't be chastised because the student chooses not to use a particular accommodation.

Our district has stopped allowing this kind of flexibility. One does have to be very careful of how IEP materials are worded.

We haven't had a problem with following 504 (kind of the opposite, in fact) but I agree with the problem-solving comment.

I couldn't tell one way or the other. Both teacher and DS were pretty quiet. Since DS brought home his completed project (ugh), my guess is the teacher didn't understand what I meant about checking for understanding. To be fair, this is a strange problem. Why on earth would DS bring home a completed project? I think it didn't occur to the teacher to ask him if he was finished with it, because most kids would say that if the teacher told them to take it home to finish. Maybe I should have sent bullet points--1) Please ask DS if he is finished and 2) If he isn't, please make sure he packs the project to complete at home.

I've never asked the teachers to check that he has materials to bring home, but it *is* in the 504, so I thought it would be okay to send a reminder when DS had missed class the day before. I have the sense this teacher will follow the 504 but will not do anything else that is "extra." I don't know that with any certainty, though, and the meeting was kind of a flop.

I did this in our meeting last week. I asked DS to look at the board, and explain what he would write in his planner. DS' response was: "all of it." It was clear he has no idea--there was a lot of info on the board he wouldn't need. I tried to explain that what needs to be recorded is information that will help him understand specifics of the assignment if he can't remember, but it was like I was speaking a foreign language.

Since the teacher didn't volunteer much, I don't know if he noticed what I was trying to explain.

This is just a vent: but for crying out loud!

Yesterday was homework day. DS brought home completed project so didn't need to work on it...

But he failed to bring home his textbook to do a written assignment that is due today. I had asked the teacher to have him pack the textbook, also.

DS said he didn't need the textbook because his project was completed. Somehow, he missed the part that he had a further assignment he needed to do.

I decided to think this is funny but it is actually very frustrating.

You can get an accommodation of an extra set of textbooks if this is a chronic issue.

With you: totally frustrating, this welter of objects.

The extra set of textbooks at home was key for us last year. But make sure you keep track of them at home - we spent a fair amount on lost books, too. (Enough that DD didn't get her allowance for most of the summer while she was paying off the debt.)

I asked about an extra set of books at our very first 504 meeting years ago and was told NO, the books are very expensive and only a child without legs or arms would be able to get that accommodation. I remember this because I laughed out loud, literally, and immediately knew they thought I was a monster. I wasn't laughing about a child without arms or legs but at this preposterous statement. That was the beginning of my "advocacy journey." Not much talent for it, clearly.

I don't think our district is very good at any of this. I wrote a detailed email to the teacher explaining how this is a good example of DS getting his wires crossed. I got one line back, not very responsive.

I'm looking online to see if we can rent or buy his textbooks. He doesn't know how to open his locker. He doesn't seem to understand any of this. He is really impaired.

I've found used textbooks online for very inexpensive. Depends on the age of the textbook. Shame they think so little of the idea of supplying an extra text book. This is something our PTA funds for many classes (particularly in junior high) and in most of DS's classes he doesn't need to cart a book back and fourth. Either the teacher never uses the text in class or has classroom copies. This year Spanish is the only class DS needs to cart back & forth to school.

Can you get the textbooks online? Many new textbooks are online but not available for free. Does the school pay for an electronic version? We have this available for all math books in our district.

Definitely ask again about textbook access at home. Almost every major publisher has electronic versions of the most current textbooks available online (for a price, of course, but nearly all new textbook acquisitions of any significant volume include electronic access in the district package--which also often has read-aloud built in).

The one line email I referenced was from history teacher saying the textbook is NOT available online (I asked).

If he doesn't make it home with the book today, I'll email the district 504 coordinator and ask about the extra set of books, before I pay for anything.

He's in seventh grade this year and never managed the locker last year, either. I doubt he'd remember to use it anyhow. In most classes, they aren't using a textbook.

There are kids at this school with IEPs (it's a full service HS with this magnet gifted MS contained) but I'm told it's pretty unusual for the gifted program to have a student with an IEP.

For now, I'm asking (bribing) DD to help DS remember before they get on the bus. Not fair to her, but not sure what else to do for the moment. So DD is DS' para and is implementing the 504 for us.

Have you checked yourself if the history text is online? Check with the publisher.

As for the locker. Is the lock one of those standard rotating locks? If so those are tricky to use. If so and he wants to use his I'd recommend buying a lock at a hardware store to have him practice the technique. You can often get them for under $5. My son doesn't use one and my daughter only rarely used her when she was in H.S. My experience is it depends on the school culture how much they are used and if kids have bulky coats & boots they don't want to lug around all day.

DS doesn't want to use his locker, and they are allowed to carry their things with them. He lost a coat last year, but we did (eventually) find it. Other than that he's done okay without the locker, but it seems to me like it would be good to know how to use it. He lugs around everything and he's not a big kid.

He did not bring home his book yesterday. Now I will need to take the kids to school early, park and walk in, get the book myself.

The thing that bothers me most is this: DS is on academic probation and will be asked to immediately leave the program if any grade falls below a C, even at quarter. If that happens, I don't have any idea what I'd do with him. He's currently in two MS classes and four HS classes--but he would have to go to a middle school if he's removed. What classes would he even take at that point?

He has As and Bs in all of his classes right now. He can do the academic work at this level. The Bs are because of missing assignments that he forgot. In one class, the B is because they had a "supply check" and he was missing a folder. He's actually only failed to complete one single assignment--and that was in class, not homework. IOW, he's doing a fantastic job in school right now.

The 504 says teacher is supposed to check at the end of class to make sure he has materials. I sent email reminding teacher. DS still doesn't have the book.

The 504 also says teacher is supposed to initial planner.

A couple of weeks ago, we had a similar situation in this class, in which DS hadn't written anything useful in his planner and we couldn't figure out what he was supposed to be doing.

As I'd been instructed to do if there was a 504 issue, I emailed the teacher and cc'd program coordinator saying DS needs to write actual assignments in the planner. This resulted in a backlash.

I think it's only fair that if the teacher makes a mistake, they then extend some grace in DS' direction. IOW, if they misunderstand, or forget to do something in 504--then the countdown on DS' assignment should be extended to reflect the mistake. This is about DS succeeding and not being kicked out of his program, not my being a helicopter parent and wanting him to have straight As. However, the last time this happened (teacher didn't follow 504, IMO), DS' assignment was accepted but counted as late.

It's like the teacher is going to be very rigid on his side of things, but expects me to be flexible about whether or not the 504 is followed.

I have absolutely no desire to be a helicopter. I just want the adults to do what they are supposed to do.

Now I feel like I need to do something about the 504 compliance, even though I just met last week with the teacher in question. I don't think the teacher understands--he's a first year teacher. I also feel like the coordinator (who isn't technically in charge of 504, but acts as a mentor/liaison) is irritated by me.

This was a gigantic problem last year, and is the reason DS is on probation in the first place. He had one class that fell to a D after the last day of school, when the teacher finally graded several assignments and his grade was updated--all due to missing work about which I was not informed.

The high school teachers, who have three times as many students as the middle school ones, are right on top of everything--including communication, gradebook, planner.

Sorry for the length. I'm anxious about this, obviously. I think I need to begin stressing that DS has a disability. You would think people would take ASD pretty seriously, even if they are dismissive of the ADHD piece. I'm having trouble understanding the situation.

If they kick him out of the program and it's because of missing work due to a disability, then that's discrimination on the part of the school. You could make a major stink, but obviously it's preferable to not have to go that route. I'm worried the teachers are going to become so irritated that they will play games--either they will make him out to be not as impaired as he is, so that he doesn't qualify for an IEP, or they will start depressing his grades and be really hard on him, so that they can kick him out. Only you know enough of the situation to say if any of those scenrios is possible, but that would be my fear. You have to make sure they follow the 504 because that is the only thing that is fair to your DS, but it may come with consequences. This is such a **** situation. No parent should have to spend all their time worrying about this stuff. If possible i would get it written directly into the 504 or possible IEP that he is not to be denied gifted services as a result of behaviors tied to the disability. His grades should not reflect late/missing work if the late/missing work is the result of 504 accommodations not being followed.

I'm concerned about this already. His graded work in this class took a sudden nosedive after I brought up the planner issue. He still has a solid B, though. He will easily maintain a solid B if he just turns in everything--this is not a rocket science class.

FWIW, I have had nothing but positive (glowing, even) feedback from his other teachers and they are following 504 to the letter without complaint. One, also a brand-new teacher, keeps telling me to let her know if we need anything! Overall, it is a really positive start to the year.

That's what I think, too. It's one thing to argue the curriculum is too rigorous (that is the rationale for academic probation), but another if he clearly can do the work when proper supports are in place.

I don't want to spend so much emotional energy on this. He just needs to get through the year (we are 1/8 of the way through!), after which the probation is lifted. That means eighth grade is a given and we can all relax a little.

I went into the school and obtained the textbook.

I emailed 504 coordinator and asked if we can get a second set of books added to 504.

I found the book online and it's only $20 because it's an old edition. I will buy it if necessary.

I really hate feeling like I do about his situation. It is very confusing. I am a conflict adverse personality by nature and it's really stressful feeling like there is an adversarial relationship with my children's program.