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    Joined: Apr 2013
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    Maybe it's a silly question. But I am taking DS9 for his check up and I need to ask the Pediatrician about screening for a few things (coordination issues and learning issues). How do ask about this with DS around? Do I just tell DS to sit in the waiting room for a few mins? Should I just tell DS my questions ahead of time?

    Last edited by somewhereonearth; 08/04/15 08:41 AM.
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    I always find it so annoying that medical professionals expect parents to discuss their concerns with the kid sitting right there. I usually tell the nurse ahead of time that there are things I want to discuss without the child present, and they find somewhere for him/her to go, or I just tell the child to step into the hallway for a few min. Some clinics have an x-ray or lab waiting room that isn't that far away. Of course, then the kid may get concerned about what it is they aren't supposed to hear, but then at least you can speak openly without worrying about their self esteem.

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    I have been known to email ahead if the clinician is responsive to that, or to bring typed notes for them to review at the start of the meeting.

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    Depending on the child, at nine he may be well aware of his relative strengths and weaknesses. One approach might be to have a supportive discussion with your child in advance, opening with a relative strength, bringing up the area of relative weakness, and getting his perspective on the situation... possibly he's noticed (or not), possibly he feels badly (or shrugs it off), possibly he'd like help (or may feel too vulnerable to address it directly and be part of a discussion with anyone but the parent). A kid might benefit from knowing that others have the same difficulties, in fact so many kids do that there are tests to see what can be done next.

    This type of gentle probing, fact gathering, and reassurance that your child is not alone may help show the child that the parent is firmly on the child's side, build a foundation for open communication of difficult subjects, and demonstrate that the parent does not hold any weakness/imperfection against the child. (We all have foibles, some just learn about theirs earlier and gain more support in dealing with them.) Having this type of conversation may help determine the best way to proceed with the pediatrician. For example, while the parent has observed the outward differences, possibly the child would like to share his inner experiences of these differences with the pediatrician. This could build a foundation of trust, a sense of being part of a support team, and encourage eventual self-advocacy for the child.

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    I usually arrange a separate appointment one-on-one with the pediatrician for items I'd rather discuss out of DS' earshot.


    What is to give light must endure burning.
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    I have had separate appointments with the pediatrician on occasion with good results. I also sometimes will fax a letter to the office a few days before the appointment outlining my concerns and questions.

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    I just send mine up the the receptionist to get a sucker. smile

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    I have handed the nurse something I had written to give to the doctor. I have also scheduled a separate appointment for just me to talk to the doctor. Both have worked well.

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    I have been told they can't bill if I don't bring the kid...and have had the child sit in the waiting room after or before the exam.

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    Originally Posted by Cookie
    I have been told they can't bill if I don't bring the kid...and have had the child sit in the waiting room after or before the exam.


    I always believed that, too, but my insurance has paid when I visited the doctor without the kid in tow. Not sure what's up with that.

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