Gifted Bulletin Board

Welcome to the Gifted Issues Discussion Forum.

We invite you to share your experiences and to post information about advocacy, research and other gifted education issues on this free public discussion forum.
CLICK HERE to Log In. Click here for the Board Rules.

Links


Learn about Davidson Academy Online - for profoundly gifted students living anywhere in the U.S. & Canada.

The Davidson Institute is a national nonprofit dedicated to supporting profoundly gifted students through the following programs:

  • Fellows Scholarship
  • Young Scholars
  • Davidson Academy
  • THINK Summer Institute

  • Subscribe to the Davidson Institute's eNews-Update Newsletter >

    Free Gifted Resources & Guides >

    Who's Online Now
    0 members (), 167 guests, and 10 robots.
    Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
    Newest Members
    parentologyco, Smartlady60, petercgeelan, eterpstra, Valib90
    11,410 Registered Users
    March
    S M T W T F S
    1 2
    3 4 5 6 7 8 9
    10 11 12 13 14 15 16
    17 18 19 20 21 22 23
    24 25 26 27 28 29 30
    31
    Previous Thread
    Next Thread
    Print Thread
    Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
    SLO #220188 07/27/15 06:29 PM
    Joined: Apr 2015
    Posts: 647
    E
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    E
    Joined: Apr 2015
    Posts: 647
    This has been an ongoing theme for my DS12, since about age 5. We are in the Midwest, so mostly tornados, but other natural disasters and some pronounced health anxiety, also, when he was introduced to the idea of childhood cancers. Especially at bedtime.

    I don't disagree with the other posters, in terms of useful strategies for using cognition, facts, etc., but with my son, that barely scratched the surface. There was always the next question (one time, he worked himself all the way into BUT WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO MY LEGOS? All my talk of insurance, etc., helped nada. He would come up with a new objection--what if they are discontinued/rare? ad infinitum). He could work himself up to the point that his heart was racing and he was panting, sometimes.

    I wouldn't lie or obfuscate. A) These kids are too smart and B) You don't feel good about it.

    I'd try something like this:

    Identify the emotion (anxiety).
    Explain that sometimes a thought can get stuck in a loop, and it's hard to stop thinking about it.
    Explain that when a person is stuck like this, their feelings get all out of whack and escalated, and affect the body, which makes things worse because the brain doesn't do its best work when the body is out of whack.
    Explain that deep breathing is the single best thing one can do to slow down the body's reaction, and help the brain work better.

    I bought these CDs for my son when he had these bedtime obsession issues, and would lie next to him and listen, do the breathing exercises:

    http://www.stressfreekids.com/category/cds/children-cds

    This REALLY worked, and it didn't take too long. Highly recommend either using these, or something similar. They tell stories and give directions that make sense to young children, to learn diaphragm breathing. I appreciated that it took the "teaching" out of my hands. He's 12 now, and still understands how to do this sort of breathing when he needs it.

    He is still really scared of tornados, btw...but it's more a rational fear instead of an out of control obsession.

    Edited to add: I'm conceptualizing this as anxiety because you mention it is worse at bedtime. That is a really common time for anxiety to manifest--fewer distractions. Nothing wrong with doing the statistical/teaching, etc., but I wouldn't do that during bedtime...bedtime is a good time for relaxing, not engaging intellect. JMO

    Last edited by eco21268; 07/27/15 06:39 PM.
    SLO #220196 07/27/15 09:07 PM
    Joined: Jun 2012
    Posts: 517
    M
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    M
    Joined: Jun 2012
    Posts: 517
    I never thought of kids being worried about their toys eco- I think we have always tried to have the attitude "easy come, easy go" with belongings. I think that if the questions were really getting that indepth I would go with short yes man answers, like - everything is replaceable- everything. The likelihood of ever needing to come through on that is so low, and to be honest just about everything is ( for a price).

    I haven't had to deal with the anxiety though...

    SLO #220297 07/30/15 06:05 AM
    Joined: Aug 2010
    Posts: 3,428
    U
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    U
    Joined: Aug 2010
    Posts: 3,428
    Eco's suggestion is also really good. We have used some of the same relaxation scripts with our kids. I think in a way it is the same kind of thing as I am saying--sometimes endlessly answering "what if" questions does not work. They just ask more "but what IF" questions. It is not addressing the key problem, really.

    SLO #220315 07/30/15 12:10 PM
    Joined: Jun 2012
    Posts: 517
    M
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    M
    Joined: Jun 2012
    Posts: 517
    I agree eco's advice is good - I just haven't had to deal with anxiety as an issue, I have however dealt with kids who have seen their worst what if fears come true and respect the need to have answers and serious talks about it. Of course at some point we as parents know more about why our kids are questioning and much is appropriate to discuss with them.

    SLO #220329 07/30/15 06:09 PM
    Joined: Apr 2015
    Posts: 647
    E
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    E
    Joined: Apr 2015
    Posts: 647
    I hope it didn't sound like I'm against answering questions, that isn't what I think, at all. At some point, this kind of thing can tip into severe phobic/obsessive territory. That's what happened with my son. You will know it when/if it happens--it disrupts QOL.

    Absolutely give age-appropriate answers (but still think bedtime isn't the best opportunity)! It's just important to bear in mind that asynchronous development can trick us into thinking that reasoning ability equals emotional resources. Each child is different. Mine wasn't capable of processing terrifying natural disasters via cognition at that age. He needed additional skills. YMMV

    Joined: Apr 2010
    Posts: 2,498
    D
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    D
    Joined: Apr 2010
    Posts: 2,498
    Originally Posted by eco21268
    Absolutely give age-appropriate answers (but still think bedtime isn't the best opportunity)! It's just important to bear in mind that asynchronous development can trick us into thinking that reasoning ability equals emotional resources. Each child is different. Mine wasn't capable of processing terrifying natural disasters via cognition at that age. He needed additional skills. YMMV

    Yes, I agree. Daytime: cognitive work, assessing likelihood, explanations of how adults think about it ("I don't worry about that because I think..."). Night-time: staying calm and trying to shut the brain off.


    Joined: Jun 2014
    Posts: 226
    C
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    C
    Joined: Jun 2014
    Posts: 226
    Thanks for the link Eco - I may try those. Currently we use ones we downloaded onto DD's android tablet, but I'm not sure they're as effective as they used to be...

    Joined: Apr 2015
    Posts: 647
    E
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    E
    Joined: Apr 2015
    Posts: 647
    Originally Posted by spaghetti
    Wow, wish I had seen these a few years ago. Awake all night waiting for the comet to come through the window, fears of all kinds of stuff. Couldn't read certain books or watch any movies. We had a therapist and meds, but still couldn't get the relaxation stuff down. Our best bet was the rosary (good thing we are Catholic!). That was the only method that would put him to sleep. Of course our idiot therapist thought it would create religious imagery fears......but it worked for us!
    Makes sense the rosary would help--meditative. I'm right now saying a little prayer of thanks DS never thought of comets. OMG, for real.

    Originally Posted by Can2K
    Thanks for the link Eco - I may try those. Currently we use ones we downloaded onto DD's android tablet, but I'm not sure they're as effective as they used to be...
    I'm sure there are many helpful meditations for kids. The reason I liked the one for young'uns so much is that they are bedtime stories, but give concrete imagery (is that a paradox?) My kids were/are really childlike and innocent--not precocious, emotionally. Not sure how more sophisticated children would react to The Angry Octopus, but it worked for us.

    SLO #220342 07/31/15 09:15 AM
    Joined: Apr 2013
    Posts: 5,244
    Likes: 1
    I
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    I
    Joined: Apr 2013
    Posts: 5,244
    Likes: 1
    In addition to all the great ideas above, some kids may feel most secure if their families have "emergency preparedness" kits. The American Red Cross, which specializes in disaster relief volunteerism, offers suggestions on its website, including tips for building a preparedness kit, to "be Red Cross ready".

    There are other companies, such as Living Rational which sell pre-packed "survival kits", water purification supplies, toileting supplies, etc.

    Basically if a family thinks of being without everyday conveniences such as automatically provided power, water, and communication services... for example, imagine an impromptu camping trip in bad weather... they can gather those items which they would need or benefit from having until the normal power, water, and communications can be restored. All these things can be placed into their emergency preparedness kit. Taking kids camping may help prepare them for any possible future disruption of the conveniences of everyday life.

    The United States Census Bureau's American Housing Survey (AHS) collects and provides data on Emergency Preparedness, including an infographic dated June 2015.

    SLO #220388 08/03/15 11:39 AM
    Joined: Oct 2011
    Posts: 2,856
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    Joined: Oct 2011
    Posts: 2,856
    Great stuff so far, hopefully this can contribute as well.

    Assuming your name SLO is a location reference, it might help to reassure your DS that earthquakes along the San Andreas (where a "big one" is most likely to occur) would happen below land anywhere south of San Francisco, so those won't trigger a tsunami. Furthermore, the San Andreas is a strike-slip fault, and this type of fault does not produce tsunamis.

    There is a subduction zone off the coast roughly from British Columbia to Oregon which has the potential to produce much more powerful earthquakes and devastating tsunamis. It would be pretty bad news for Seattle, but if you guys are near SLO Bay, then geography means that would be coming from the landward side, and there's some natural protection there, so local effects would be significantly reduced.

    It might even be worth working out the math with him for how long it would take a tsunami generated near Seattle to travel to you, so you could show him how much reaction time there is to get to high ground. Make sure you're subscribed to receive emergency alerts to your phone, and explain how that works.

    Page 2 of 3 1 2 3

    Moderated by  M-Moderator, Mark D. 

    Link Copied to Clipboard
    Recent Posts
    Testing with accommodations
    by aeh - 03/27/24 01:58 PM
    Quotations that resonate with gifted people
    by indigo - 03/27/24 12:38 PM
    For those interested in astronomy, eclipses...
    by indigo - 03/23/24 06:11 PM
    California Tries to Close the Gap in Math
    by thx1138 - 03/22/24 03:43 AM
    Gifted kids in Illinois. Recommendations?
    by indigo - 03/20/24 05:41 AM
    Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5