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    #220189 - 07/27/15 06:29 PM Perfectionism/lawn mower parents - a caution
    madeinuk Offline
    Member

    Registered: 03/18/13
    Posts: 1446
    Loc: NJ
    Link here

    Quite terrifying stuff (story ends better for its initial subject than its ominous start would suggest).

    Never heard of 'lawn mower' parents before either - something to self-monitor for, for sure...
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    #220190 - 07/27/15 06:31 PM Re: Perfectionism/lawn mower parents - a caution [Re: madeinuk]
    aeh Offline
    Member

    Registered: 04/26/14
    Posts: 3638
    Just read that story this morning. Definitely something to think about.

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    #220191 - 07/27/15 07:02 PM Re: Perfectionism/lawn mower parents - a caution [Re: madeinuk]
    ConnectingDots Offline
    Member

    Registered: 09/06/13
    Posts: 848
    I read that earlier as well. I'm thinking the key things to watch for are perfectionism (as opposed to trying to meet a goal or objective as well as one can) and fostering independence (vs. reliance on parents). In my career, I've had the privilege of working with fresh graduates and the perfectionism thing can really be crippling if not addressed.

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    #220193 - 07/27/15 07:38 PM Re: Perfectionism/lawn mower parents - a caution [Re: madeinuk]
    ElizabethN Offline
    Member

    Registered: 02/17/12
    Posts: 1390
    Loc: Seattle area
    I read an article a few months ago that focused on Madison Holleran - interesting to see the contrast. You're right that it's scary stuff.

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    #220198 - 07/27/15 10:03 PM Re: Perfectionism/lawn mower parents - a caution [Re: madeinuk]
    bluemagic Offline
    Member

    Registered: 03/29/13
    Posts: 1489
    Thanks for the link, this is something I find very interesting since I have a DD who is at university. This is a big topic of discussion with my rl friends whom have college age kids. The article hits very close to home. Can't talk details here because they aren't my story's to tell. But I find it easy to believe the statement "Anxiety and depression, in that order, are now the most common mental health diagnoses among college students"


    Edited by bluemagic (07/27/15 10:20 PM)

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    #220199 - 07/27/15 10:37 PM Re: Perfectionism/lawn mower parents - a caution [Re: madeinuk]
    HowlerKarma Offline
    Member

    Registered: 02/05/11
    Posts: 5181
    Quote:

    Where the faulty comparisons become dangerous is when a student already carries feelings of shame, according to Dr. Anthony L. Rostain, a pediatric psychiatrist on Penn’s faculty who was co-chairman of the task force on student psychological health and welfare. “Shame is the sense one has of being defective or, said another way, not good enough,” Dr. Rostain said. “It isn’t that one isn’t doing well. It’s that ‘I am no good.’” Instead of thinking “I failed at something, these students think, ‘I am a failure.’”



    Hmmm.

    You know what OTHER connection there is between college, female freshman, and shame?


    Well, for as many as one in five of them-- it's sexual assault, that's what.

    But that wouldn't be the fault of parents though-- so I can see why nobody would want that particular connection to be made. But it's the very first thing that I thought of when I read Madison Holleran's heartbreaking story. I wonder. I was that faculty member that students disclosed to for a number of years-- and I will say that a lot of those broken and wounded young women that I saw never told their parents why they were suddenly struggling academically. NEVER. They would have died rather than have their parents know.

    I believe that one in five is probably a somewhat conservative estimate by the time that they graduate, by the way.

    In those kinds of numbers, that IS a mental health driver on a campus.

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    #220200 - 07/27/15 10:50 PM Re: Perfectionism/lawn mower parents - a caution [Re: madeinuk]
    LAF Offline
    Member

    Registered: 06/15/14
    Posts: 469
    Totally agree with HK on this one….

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    #220202 - 07/28/15 05:02 AM Re: Perfectionism/lawn mower parents - a caution [Re: madeinuk]
    DeeDee Offline
    Member

    Registered: 04/16/10
    Posts: 2498
    Ah, yes. Another way to blame parents. Just what we needed. HK is spot on.

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    #220204 - 07/28/15 05:15 AM Re: Perfectionism/lawn mower parents - a caution [Re: HowlerKarma]
    Bostonian Offline
    Member

    Registered: 02/14/10
    Posts: 2593
    Loc: MA
    Originally Posted By: HowlerKarma

    Well, for as many as one in five of them-- it's sexual assault, that's what.

    But that wouldn't be the fault of parents though-- so I can see why nobody would want that particular connection to be made. But it's the very first thing that I thought of when I read Madison Holleran's heartbreaking story. I wonder. I was that faculty member that students disclosed to for a number of years-- and I will say that a lot of those broken and wounded young women that I saw never told their parents why they were suddenly struggling academically. NEVER. They would have died rather than have their parents know.

    I believe that one in five is probably a somewhat conservative estimate by the time that they graduate, by the way.

    I think it is an overestimate.

    One in Five?
    By Jake New
    Inside Higher Education
    December 15, 2014

    Quote:
    A report released last week by the Bureau of Justice Statistics and based on the National Crime Victimization Survey, found that the rate for sexual assault among college women is 6.1 in 1,000. If one in five is considered by some to overestimate the rate of sexual assault, the opposite is true for the NCVS numbers. Even the bureau itself has expressed doubts about the survey's ability to accurately count cases of sexual assault, and earlier this year it asked the National Research Council to look into the matter.

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    #220205 - 07/28/15 06:59 AM Re: Perfectionism/lawn mower parents - a caution [Re: madeinuk]
    aeh Offline
    Member

    Registered: 04/26/14
    Posts: 3638
    If you read the BJC report:

    http://www.bjs.gov/content/pub/pdf/rsavcaf9513.pdf

    you'll also note that the follow-up interviews also estimate that 80% of sexual assaults in college-age female students are not reported to law enforcement. I think whether it is an over or underestimate (and my bias is in the under direction), it is clear that we do not have a good research or societal handle on either the behavior or its prevalence.

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