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    Joined: Jun 2012
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    as I stated I'm certainly not going up to anybody and quizzing them on their parenting, just providing honest feedback when someone has seemed genuinely at a loss. I've only done it twice by the way. It's very interesting to hear the negative side of doing this and I guess I'll reconsider my position....

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    In NZ there are people who think the government supports gifted kids and sets up schools for them?

    Ds8 had a friend who probably was gifted. Unfortunately the family was a train wreck in process and the giftedness probably came from the absent, unwell father. There didn't seem much point and the other child was too manipulative (survival I guess) for the friendship to survive. I trued to keep tabs on him but eventually the government stepped in.

    eta. I never saw anything and it was PNS that tipped them over the edge. He seems happier now.

    Last edited by puffin; 05/24/15 06:44 PM.
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    I mention it if I know the parent fairly well. In one case a friend's son was having some issues in preschool, and his mom mentioned that he was reading. Kid was 3 1/2 at the time.
    I suggested that he may be gifted and it could be contributing to some of his behaviors and difficulties. Two years later his mom told me he tested as exceptionally gifted on an IQ test through his school.
    I don't know if people are so reluctant to believe that their child is gifted or, like some of us here, second guess it even when it's fairly obvious. Those of us who do not perceive ourselves as gifted may wonder how it came about. I remember when my DS was a baby hoping that that he would love school, have a lot of friends, and enjoy reading. Gifted only entered my mind when the evidence was mounting high. Of my three initial hopes, guess which one came true?

    Last edited by cammom; 05/24/15 07:54 PM.
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    cammon, I know a few gifted young men who struggled socially as children but as young adults, they have close friends and they seem very happy overall. One of them hated school so much that he refused to go to school half of the time but he is starting his Ph.D this fall.

    I think all of your hopes for your DS still can come true.

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    Originally Posted by Mana
    cammon, I know a few gifted young men who struggled socially as children but as young adults, they have close friends and they seem very happy overall. One of them hated school so much that he refused to go to school half of the time but he is starting his Ph.D this fall.

    I think all of your hopes for your DS still can come true.

    Thanks mana- I think DS will find his people. He's twice exceptional (ADHD) so his struggles are bit complex.

    In keeping with the thread, I had quite a few people remark on DS's intelligence when he was small.

    Only *one* person-- an outspoken teenager, mentioned, what are now obvious signs of ADHD. I think she flatly said, "he acts like he has ADHD." I was kind of grateful that someone came out and said it.

    I think in the early years, the high intelligence and ADHD were equally apparent.

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    To be honest I never picked my kids were gifted so it is probably good someone else reached out and told me. Honestly that is just what kids in my family are like.

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    ADHD runs in my family so I understand. I am keeping an eye on my DD. Sending hugs to your DS.


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    Originally Posted by Mahagogo5
    She asked who ran it and I told her the gifted centre. She immediately said oh no my son isn't gifted.

    My reaction is the same even if we now have her test results. I feel people expect extraordinary abilities and achievements if we use the G word so when people tell me DD must be gifted, I reply "No, she really isn't."

    Looking back, I do wonder if other parents were reaching out to us because they have gifted children and I shut them down. Next time this comes up, I'll try to listen more.

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    Originally Posted by puffin
    To be honest I never picked my kids were gifted so it is probably good someone else reached out and told me. Honestly that is just what kids in my family are like.

    That was my entrance into the GT world.

    When listening to a parent vent, I will often pull the parent aside privately later and say "you know, my family has been there, but the school is now a great fit for my kids. I'm happy to tell you more about what we did to get there. You might find something useful in our tale. Let me give you my phone number." I've done this at least 10 times in the last 5 years. About half follow up. All but one of those ultimately placed into the gifted program, but through alternate ID pathways not otherwise made clear to parents.

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    She doesn't realise it but another parent has benefitted from me identifying her own child as gifted! DD7 is very mathy and last year, along with another child, was given extension maths with every maths lesson. Her teacher was astute and very lovely and also organised some achievement teaching which put them both at least 2 years ahead, meaning that even the more challenging of the streamed classes the following year wouldn't be enough (and they're not). DD's teacher and I had to really emphasise that her maths was unusual, not just top of the class.

    I got DD7 tested to ensure that she was similarly extended this year (it's taken a term, but I think her new teacher needed to get a feel for her abilities herself) and also asked that she continue in the class with her mathy friend. So they're both doing the more challenging work - her teacher's made up a separate booklet for them both.

    Her friend's mum is lovely but English is not her first language (although to be fair she speaks 4 languages) and a detailed discussion about it all would be tricky.

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