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    Originally Posted by bluemagic
    Yes. We have certainly heard the "unmotivated", "lazy" line and until we started to get to the bottom of things I'll admit I felt that way myself. Where did our clearly very bright kid, who taught himself to read at 3 and could do rings around the other kids in K go? Particularly when DS16 had trouble writing essays. Or took longer to complete regular assignments.
    I heard "he can focus when it's something he wants to do" this year (and variations on the theme). The "he doesn't care" bit is the one that's lodged itself under my skin.

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    Originally Posted by eco21268
    comprehensive understanding of how things work.
    While From Emotions to Advocacy is the go-to book, crucial conversations has great negotiating tips as well.

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    Originally Posted by eco21268
    I heard "he can focus when it's something he wants to do" this year (and variations on the theme). The "he doesn't care" bit is the one that's lodged itself under my skin.

    My best shot at staying positive about this is: they don't understand. It's a teaching job: if this is going to work, they are going to need to be helped to understand.

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    Originally Posted by DeeDee
    My best shot at staying positive about this is: they don't understand. It's a teaching job: if this is going to work, they are going to need to be helped to understand.
    I went into this year with this framework and was met with either a refusal or inability to understand...in terms of my trying to "explain" my son. I didn't have the proper language. I did, however, do my very darn best to keep it calm, positive, and informative. If anything, I guess I was "too nice" and "too empathic." I told my SPED friend I was trying to be collegial and she pointed out: "you are not their colleague, you are DS' parent." So will stay 100% in that role going forward.

    I think what they will have to be "helped to understand" next year is that the 504 (or, I hope, IEP) is not just a list of Hints from Heloise. I don't know if it's allowed to banish certain types of language from our communication but I'm going to try. I'm working on a word doc/rubric w v. specific behaviors so teachers can just check boxes.

    And if all else fails, I have every intention of sic'ing the kids' father on the district. He's not an involved parent but has joint legal custody and is not conflict-avoidant (understatement). I am NOT good in conflict and have probably been too namby-pamby about the whole process.

    The things you do for love... :P

    I just noticed that my DD's GAI scores were 144 VCI and 110 PRI (DS is much more even). So now I'm fearing *she* will struggle academically next year in this program (she is much more socially savvy, but is young for grade). AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!

    I think it's time for me to begin my triathlon training. smile I really just want to make art and music with my kids and sing Kumbayah around a campfire. But *me* isn't working too well in this situation, so evolve I will.

    Last edited by eco21268; 05/23/15 05:42 PM.
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    Originally Posted by eco21268
    I am NOT good in conflict and have probably been too namby-pamby about the whole process.

    In the category "helped to understand" I do include "forced to understand through application of legal pressure" and other similar teaching processes.

    But it's always good to start off the nice way. Eco, try not to beat yourself up. The situation is really awful, and you're prioritizing things really well.

    Originally Posted by eco21268
    So now I'm fearing *she* will struggle academically next year in this program (she is much more socially savvy, but is young for grade).

    Don't borrow trouble. Different kid.

    Originally Posted by eco21268
    I think it's time for me to begin my triathlon training. smile I really just want to make art and music with my kids and sing Kumbayah around a campfire.

    Yep. So few of us are on this road because we chose to be. Not a bad road. Just not the one we expected. Let the ninja training commence.

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    There have been times when I have wished for Sith Lord training LOL

    Last edited by madeinuk; 05/24/15 03:31 AM.

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    Originally Posted by DeeDee
    . Let the ninja training commence.
    LOL!

    and

    Originally Posted by madeinuk
    There have been times when I have wished for Sith Lord training LOL
    LOL!

    I am *so* out of my league when I have to go head to head with folks who know they are "right" about everything. It's time to put on my lawyer/analytical hat:

    They don't have to like him.
    They don't have to like me.
    They DO have to follow the rules.
    I have to make sure the rules are very explicit.

    smile

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    From emotions to advocacy book - can anyone tell me if this is written for US audiences, ie: contains info on navigating the us school system rather than advocating techniques? I can't get a copy here to flick through and our school system is entirely different.

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    Yes, it's thoroughly founded on US law. Sorry about that. I hope there's something comparable where you are...

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    Thanks DeeDee

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