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    Joined: Feb 2014
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    Dubsyd Offline OP
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    I posted a while back about being worried we made a mistake by starting DD4 in kindergarten this year. I have been working in her reading at home, and she has been making improvements, but her teacher stopped me today to say they she is very exhausted in class and that she has lost her spark. She thinks she is feeling overwhelmed and giving up. This of course breaks my heart, and I wish we had kept her home another year. Then on the drive home, I started thinking, what if I homeschool her for the second half of the year. She could sleep in so as not to be so tired, and with the one on one education with me, I think I could get her academically ready for year 1. Then she could stay with her classmates in the longer term, but hopefully another 9 months would have her more prepared physically for the demands of a full week in the classroom. ETA: I wouldn't have to be officially registered as home schooling either as DD is under the legal age of compulsory enrolment.

    I suspect DH will think I am over reacting, but it would also give me more time one on one with my daughter to work on some of the self-esteem issues that are emerging and the inferiority that she feels in relation to her grade skipped older brother.

    It seems an ideal solution to me, but it's one of those things that I fear when I start mentioning it to my husband or the school, that they will think it is not such a great idea.

    Last edited by Dubsyd; 06/15/15 06:25 PM. Reason: title changed
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    Dubsyd Offline OP
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    Some of my own concerns are

    - how would I explain the idea to my daughter to avoid making her feel like she has failed somehow

    - would she be ready for first grade, or would she just be overwhelmed again when she started the next year.

    I guess those are my two biggest concerns at the moment.

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    first thing - it is not the school's decision to decide if homeschooling is a good idea or not. So I would not include them in the decision, especially as they seem to be indicating that she is not doing well now.

    If you are able to homeschool for the rest of the school year, I am curious - what would be the reasons your husband would be against it? You may be seeing asynchronous development here - but - have you talked to your child to see if your DD feels that she is too tired? Sometimes "losing her spark" can have a different root cause than you think - so it is important to see what she thinks. Is it because she is tired or is it because the system/class is not working as expected?

    I had stressed over DS starting a full day school at 4 (a GT program), but he adjusted to the schedule, and he was way happier there than at his daycare - and although he would be tired by the end of the week, he proclaimed that what he loved was how they keep learning new things every day. If he had stayed at his daycare and did their private K (which he was entered before we switched programs), he would have lost his spark due to the daily toll of being in an environment that did not suit him at all. We saw signs of that in just the one week he was in there before the other school started their year.

    If it is physical fatigue, definitely homeschool is probably a good idea. Otherwise, you want to tease out what is really the problem.


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    Dubsyd Offline OP
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    Thanks for your reply notnafnaf

    Originally Posted by notnafnaf
    first thing - it is not the school's decision to decide if homeschooling is a good idea or not. So I would not include them in the decision, especially as they seem to be indicating that she is not doing well now.

    We really like the school and DD's teacher. They would need to be included in the decision to the extent that it is a small private school with waiting lists, and it would want to be sure DD had a place to go back to in year 1, and that she is at the level they expect for year 1. Her teacher is really supportive of her, and really likes DD, and I know she is struggling academically. She told me not to panic, and that she will try to think of something to do to help the situation. We are doing Psychoeducational testing next month, so we will get an idea of her IQ and areas of strength and weakness that should help with planning. She has a HG+ brother, and we have just assumed from her spoken ability and the comments she makes and questions she asks that she will test gifted as well. But it is possible that she won't. I am relatively confident she is not being under challenged, but maybe the classroom is not a fit in other ways.

    Originally Posted by notnafnaf
    If you are able to homeschool for the rest of the school year, I am curious - what would be the reasons your husband would be against it? You may be seeing asynchronous development here - but - have you talked to your child to see if your DD feels that she is too tired? Sometimes "losing her spark" can have a different root cause than you think - so it is important to see what she thinks. Is it because she is tired or is it because the system/class is not working as expected?

    My husband would be against it as it means taking a 6 month break from my own study, but I am willing to do that if I decide it is in DD's best interest. My husband would agree that DD is more important than my study, but he might not agree on the need to change, he might think she will get through it and be okay if she stays on school. DD does complain about being too tired and working too hard.



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    What if she tests much lower than you thought. While siblings are usually close in IQ it is a 70% within x not an absolute. Mine tested a full standard deviation apart which if my first had was HG would have made my younger MG or below. Bright but not enough for early entrance. If you pay for the second half of the year and agree to her testing in to first grade it seems reasonable but they may take some persuading. Also it may just be a temporary problem that the teacher can solve.

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    Dubsyd Offline OP
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    Great question puffin, technically, DD is not an early entrant in the public school system. The cutoff is end of July and DD is end of May. The private school she attends sets their cutoff at end of April, so she is a month younger than the cutoff for the school she attends.

    If DD ends up scoring much lower, than she would probably benefit from being in a grade below. My instinct says once she gets past these initial hurdles, she will be okay, but a lower than anticipated score would have me questioning that. With the benefit of current hindsight,I would have started her next year, but if she is just a late bloomer, she will eventually benefit from being younger. I did poorly in my early years of schooling, but once I figured it all out, I was top of my class. I was on,y identified as gifted as an adult, but I remember my mom telling me that they had wanted to have me repeat year 1 or Kindy, I can't remember which. She said no. That would not have benefitted me at all in the long run even though I was a slow starter.

    At least we are getting the testing now, and that can help guide where she should be from here on out.

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    I do know a HG+ girl who could not read at all until she reached her 6th birthday. I would't call her dyslexic as she can now read well in two languages but learning to read was a struggle for her in K. She was the youngest in her class and the school wanted to retain her but parents said no and it all turned out okay. Mom worked with her all summer before 1st grade and I'm sure that helped.

    Do you think this school is a good fit for your DD overall? Does their curriculum match her needs?

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    Dubsyd Offline OP
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    Originally Posted by Mana
    Do you think this school is a good fit for your DD overall? Does their curriculum match her needs?


    Yes I think the school is a good fit. They really take the time to get to know each student and try to make sure both their areas of strength and weakness are catered for and supported. Working with the school and the teacher to keep her going is definitely an option, I am just not sure if it is the best option.

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    You mentioned your DD is saying shr is tired and feels like like she is working too hard... But is she able to tell you more? I recall (and seen) how much emphasis regular K had on skills like writing. I was surprised to see the amount of homework and dependency on those motor skills... Which would have been hard for DS since his motor skills are age appropriate but his capacity to learn new material was above average and the repetiton of same material drove him crazy. His current program does not have that volume and emphasis on writing skills in order to access new material so he is not expected to have same level motor skills of kids who are up to a whole year older than him, but rather, at his pace of physical development while allowing him to grow in other areas at a more rapid pace that keeps him engaged.


    So - is the "too hard" being due to too much new material or due to something like constant pressure to be at same motor skill level as kids who are older? To me, those are very different at this age, when their motor skills may not be at the same level as their minds.

    I would say see what the testing is... Even if she is gifted, her profile may be very different from her brother. So what works for him won't work for her. It is good that you are asking these questions if you have doubts on her placement... So keep following your gut and see where it goes.

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    I think if this was you're automatic reaction to the teacher, perhaps you had already been considering it. The teacher prob can help fix this but my opinion is you need to look long term, ie what is most important - a child happy and motivated at school, who is likely by your description of the school will be appropriately challenged or a child who gets to graduate k a year early.

    I removed dd from preschool to unschool for a year, she has just entered school at k level and will be reassessed for placement in a month, the school has already indicated this will be favourable. So far it was the best decision I have ever made.
    Ask your Dd what she wants, she may be relieved at the suggestion rather than feeling like a failure.

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