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    Joined: Apr 2015
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    Evidently, the biggest issue as far as the teachers are concerned is that he is acting like a "class clown," doesn't show an understanding of what's funny and what's not, doesn't understand adult/child boundaries.

    Also--she mentioned that he may have just perceived as a Waldorf type kid until this year, and people attributed his eccentricity to his giftedness, when he was a "big fish in small pond." Now that he is with highly effective gifted peers, it's noticeable that he does not fit.

    frown

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    Originally Posted by eco21268
    She also relayed some of the things the teachers shared and it was, frankly, awful. She said she was told that "something has to change" if he is to continue with the program, but the language is unclear about what it is that has to change. She attributed that to it being social skills, and nobody understanding it.

    Eco, none of this is pleasant to hear. And yet your tester's observations match all you've said here, and she sounds responsible.

    "Something has to change" can be the school having to change... need not be all on your DS and you (as it has been to date).

    I think something positive is in the works here. I really do. Hang onto the long view.

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    Originally Posted by DeeDee
    Eco, none of this is pleasant to hear. And yet your tester's observations match all you've said here, and she sounds responsible.

    "Something has to change" can be the school having to change... need not be all on your DS and you (as it has been to date).

    I think something positive is in the works here. I really do. Hang onto the long view.
    I hope. I'm still processing all of it. Not sure why I focus so much on the negative...bc she said a lot of really nice things, too:

    She said she had asked open-ended questions of teachers re: strengths and there were "many" mentioned (but we did not discuss those. I hope they are in report).

    She said that DS *is* really funny, and had her LOL'ing a lot during testing.

    She said he exhibited several very kind/helpful behaviors, including helping by picking up blocks which fell to ground during test, and also retrieving a ball that had rolled away. She seemed to think that was relevant. And also that he understood he should not go under her chair to retrieve ball (personal space?)

    She said he is NOT a kid who needs less challenge (nor more) curriculum-wise, but needs a lot of structure and support with EF, and that removing him from the program would present a new problem.

    She said her hunch is that he would not particularly benefit from OT types of interventions.

    She gave me the name of a guy who runs social-skills groups (woot!)

    One poignant thing she mentioned: she said DS considers a "friend" someone who he can discuss things with (at school) and that he is not bothered by lack of social life outside of school and prefers his "space," which she thinks is okay. She mentioned it was notable that his definition of "friend" was not even what would be expected on a vocabulary basis, based on his verbal ability. He didn't even mention his "true" best friend. smirk

    She echoed indigo's thought that trying to "bond" and be "friendly" with teachers via critical remarks about errors is a social error. She stated he needs some remediation about how a student/teacher relationship functions.

    Sorry for the blather. I feel addled. smile

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    She also gave DS a really cool 3D V/S puzzle to take home, which he did, and played with in his room for a long time. That was very nice. smile I think he had the time of his life. He feels "awesome" when he feels competent--his words.

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    Deedee gives great feedback as usual. It sounds like you will soon get the information you need to make those positive changes for your child. Kids like yours are the reason I am going back to school to become a teacher. Hang in there.

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    Originally Posted by deacongirl
    Deedee gives great feedback as usual. It sounds like you will soon get the information you need to make those positive changes for your child. Kids like yours are the reason I am going back to school to become a teacher. Hang in there.
    Thank you! I am trying to tell myself that all of these things this year have been informative and in the interest in helping DS. I think I have plenty of "evidence" if needed that I was left too far out of the loop to do anything different until I was suddenly *in the loop* but not in an effective way.

    I had not heard word one about the "class clown" behavior until yesterday, for instance. I had only heard the "snarky" comment from one teacher. But it was universally reported.

    I talked to DS on the way to school. He agrees with psych that his intense feelings are not matched with equal coping skills and that avoidance/withdrawal does not help him succeed.

    He said it will be no problem to cease and desist with the "class clown" stuff, now that he knows it is a problem. Time will tell on that one.

    Does anyone know if you can get behavior analysis and/or behavior intervention plan with 504?

    I'm sorry that I keep going on and on and on. Nobody IRL (with the exception of my sister) believes that any of this is happening (my mother, for instance, said I HATE diagnoses!--but didn't offer a better alternative). So I'm alone with it. I'm divorced and kids' dad is absent. So this board is my fill-in. I will mellow out soon. smile

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    Originally Posted by eco21268
    I talked to DS on the way to school. He agrees with psych that his intense feelings are not matched with equal coping skills and that avoidance/withdrawal does not help him succeed.

    He sounds like a great kid who wants to succeed. That is hugely important.

    Originally Posted by eco21268
    He said it will be no problem to cease and desist with the "class clown" stuff, now that he knows it is a problem. Time will tell on that one.

    I agree with psych about social errors about teacher/student roles and appropriateness. This can be taught as a thinking strategy-- at the beginning of an interaction, noticing what role the interlocutor is in (teacher? police officer? boss? buddy? best friend?) and choosing words accordingly.

    Originally Posted by eco21268
    Does anyone know if you can get behavior analysis and/or behavior intervention plan with 504?

    Generally anything that requires staffing (behavior analysis) requires an IEP. I would definitely prefer an IEP for a child with these challenges.

    Originally Posted by eco21268
    I'm sorry that I keep going on and on and on. Nobody IRL (with the exception of my sister) believes that any of this is happening (my mother, for instance, said I HATE diagnoses!--but didn't offer a better alternative). So I'm alone with it. I'm divorced and kids' dad is absent. So this board is my fill-in. I will mellow out soon. smile

    An online friend helped me during our diagnosis year and the subsequent struggles with figuring out appropriate education for DS12. You should ask for the support you need. I will keep paying it forward, as will others, I'm sure.

    You are doing a beautiful job. I am impressed with your caring and smarts, and with your DS's beautiful spirit. I think you'll be fine-- just some things to sort out and work on here.

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    DeeDee, I typed out a long reply and my phone ate it. Suffice to say you have been so helpful and supportive it's kept me a bit calmer than completely nuts.

    My son is so dear to me. I'm glad that's shown in my rambles. smile

    ASD or not--I'd say the behaviors are close enough to use similar conceptual model.

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    smile

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    Little update: the neuropsych sent me an email, saying she needs to ask me some more "developmental" questions so she can complete the eval. She said she can do it via phone this week.

    I can't imagine what's she has to ask that we haven't already covered--ugh! I'm trying not to drive myself crazy worrying about this. Mixed results.

    It will be too late to do anything with the results this year--but there is an automatic 504 meeting at the beginning of school (I think! I'm not sure they do it every year).

    I contacted a friend who is pretty expert in disability law because it's her career area and she has a son with severe ASD and has spent his entire adolescence trying to keep him in school. My sister mentioned this friend had used an advocate from the MPACT agency during her last "negotiation" with the school and thought the advocate saved their case. So I've asked for that person's contact information. I think I'll need an advocate, regardless of the school's stance, because I don't feel capable of separating my emotions from the situation. Even having devoured the Emotions-->Advocacy book.

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