Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Supporting Development of Executive Function

DD has improved, but at the same time, expectations have increased. So, it's a bit of a wash. I can now expect her to do all her regular HW and put it back in her binder without my needing to check her planner or remind her, and she usually remembers about tests (does she study?-maybe, but I leave that to her) but with the huge projects she gets, there's still difficulty planning, managing time, and breaking it down into parts. We have to help her make lists, think about planning, etc or it would implode. I think, but am not sure, that is true for many of her classmates. Also, she constantly starts but does not finish creative projects done for fun. It makes me secretly crazy, but she's always been this way. I keep hoping it will change.

Regarding daily annoyances, we use checklists. Huge help. DD has one on the back of her door that has made bedtime go so much better. Honestly, with her various after school activities, she did have a lot to remember (bring X on this day, Y on that day, Z on this day, but take X out on that day...)

The current school clearly isn't going to do this (and we are not in the position to change schools at the moment)...so absent this...have parents created their own load?

Marshmallow test and environment...hmmm, I don't know. 2 DYS in my house, wired completely differently. DD, at 9, could still have trouble with it, while DS perhaps could have passed this at age 2 or so. Same house, attempted to raise them the same way, similar FSIQs ...but just very different from a very, very young age.

I feel like DS8 year old would have easily passed the marshmallow test, as he has no impulse issues, but he is like an absent minded professor. He may very well try to put his underwear on over his pants, forgets to take his backpack when leaving the house, never knows what he is supposed to do for school. So I wonder what the research says about kids having EF issues in some areas but not others.

DD has ADHD and very poor EF ability in pretty much every area. I am hoping to see some sort of magical improvement when puberty hits because right now I feel like there hasn't been much change since age 4.

Her WISC GAI was 150 but she couldn't be much more impaired in terms of EF.

My DS7 is like this. Compared to other 7yo boys I know he seems unnaturally high in impulse control, like a much older child, but he leaves his stuff everywhere, puts his shirts on backwards (then laughs heartily upon discovery), and will do things like get into the showe in his underpants. At the time, he completes multistep processes much better than his sister did at this age. I kind of think he just isn't very focused on the mundane?

Ahh, that's a nice way to put it!

I have a hunch that schools routinely overload EF while under challenging cognitive abilities. Drives me nuts, because really it is the parents who have to be on top of it all to make sure the child doesn't flounder. Yet another way to unfairly prefer high parental SES to the child's innate abilities.

This thread is so interesting. My DS seems to have absolutely no EF and high GAI. Does the underwear, backwards shirt, losing everything as well.

What you've said here, Tigerle, really resonates. I feel I could literally spend the majority of my hours just trying to create the structure needed to organize my son. And I can't, because first and foremost, we have to eat and have a place to live, clean clothes, etc. It seems like most of the time we are firmly entrenched on the bottom tier of Maslow's hierarchy.

I wish I could hire a full-time assistant. Having a lot of money would really make all of this a lot easier.

Most families with children have at least some chaos. Don't make the mistake of assuming you're the only one who struggles with this while all the ideal children pick up their socks.

As a family we are not committed to the "perfect structure." Sometimes there are consequences to not knowing where stuff is. (Can't find scout book? no merit badge for you.) Over time people are learning to get it together because *they* want the right consequences. For school we are supporting and allowing only non-critical failures; but for other stuff it's on the kids.

I will say that I was a disorganized scatterbrain until college, and function very well in terms of EF now. So: brains develop.

I've been clinging to it too I am hoping that they'd have better EF by middle school, but also plan to scaffold the skills they'd need for middle school at home with them before they have to use them on their own then. Things can really fall apart for a child in middle school if their EF is lacking.

My DS9 can be aptly described as the absent minded professor. He'd wear his shirts inside out, red socks on one foot and green socks on the other foot if I'd let him. He always tries to multitask while getting dressed as if getting dressed is too mundane a task to devote any attention to. He is always more interested in what ever he is imagining, reading or talking about than these basic tasks. He doesn't like to be late though, which I think will help him stay on task as he gets older.

While my other DS will never put on his shirt inside out like his brother, he has absolutely no inner sense of time. The time on the clock and the words "hurry up" don't mean much to him either. He simply takes his merry time and doesn't mind getting to places just in time (in some situations he doesn't mind being later either). I am hoping that this will change as he matures, but also considering buying one of the time trackers for kids sold on Amazon to help him have more awareness of time.

Mine didn't develop until I had children. I keep reminding DS that he never stood a chance, genetically, but we can develop skills like anyone else. :P

Hahahahaha! I know this guy, only he's 12 and lives with me. His underpants were on backwards this morning, he couldn't find his socks, and I'm pretty sure there was smoothie smeared all over his mouth and shirt when I delivered him to school. However--he *did* ask me to gel his hair...so maybe hormones are beginning to titrate and he will develop more awareness.

We ALL hate to be late in my family. I don't want to be the harbinger of gloom, but it has taken a very long time for the effect to have any influence on the cause. I think we've made a teeny tiny bit of progress this year. Now that school is almost out.

I saw an interesting vibrating wristwatch online this morning...with something like 30 built-in reminders you can put on it. Things like "focus" etc. The only problem is it's $60-ish and I predict DS would lose it within a couple of weeks.

I also saw some interesting iPad apps for developing social awareness. But expensive! I have a feeling these things might help for awhile but then the child habituates and you have to introduce new novelty/stimulation. I'm considering applying for a grant.