Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy How do you know when to push the school

longcut, sorry to hear that your DD is struggling. (((Hugs))) and know that you are not alone - many here understand.

I wish that there was blanket advice for every situation, but each is unique. From what you are describing, I actually might start with getting your DD someone she could talk to since it sounds like she might have some immediate needs. (http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/psychologists.htm or http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/professionals.htm) If this person also does testing, even better!

Your DD sounds a great deal like my DS6, who is also in 1st. It's been a tough year. He has lots of friends, but often seems to find school mind-numbing. The teacher has made efforts to challenge him, but DS is just...different.

The emotional issues question you raise is interesting. SHOULD they understand that giftedness and asynchronony can cause emotional issues? YES! Do they, though? Well, here's what I've seen...often they do not. Too many well-meaning school professionals still have the image in their mind of the "gifted" student as a "perfect" child, who does well in school and never causes a problem. They picture a compliant high-achiever...despite the fact that this may not be at all how a gifted (and esp. a HG+ kiddo) presents in school. For these reasons, there might be benefits to seeking counseling outside of school - it really depends upon your school.

How you approach the school really depends upon what the laws and policies are locally (http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/StatePolicy.aspx). This information will serve you well in the long run, too. Read, research, and listen carefully. Once you are well-armed, you will better know what you in for (or possibly, up against).

Also, promising enrichment means it may or may not happen. I've come to cringe a bit at the promise of enrichment, only because I've seen how difficult it is for a busy teacher to find time to do it. While great teachers are out there, you really do need to follow-up and see what is actually going on. Also, all enrichment is not created equally. Is it more of the same or something challenging and new? Also, this book has been a great read for us: http://www.greatpotentialpress.com/authors/barbara-j-gilman-m-s

Best wishes and let us know how it is going!

Thank you, Loy58. I feel like my gut is telling me that going in with an inquiry about giving her something different might put us at a disadvantage -- they will then be, say, on alert to find their reasons why status quo is sufficient, and talk us into waiting it out longer. (Sounds cynical, but I know they have faith in their system.) My spouse, OTOH, thinks getting assessments outside of school would be pointless if the school is just going to downplay/counter any results with asynchronous traits.


Yeah, I can totally understand that. For as much as I like DD's very experienced teacher, I feel she is in the play-based, "let kids be kids while they can" camp. And it's not that I want to push my child through her youth, I just want her learning at her level. I want her exposure to new things to be absorbing and creative, not just worksheets and autonomous learning.

I think I'm leaning toward outside counseling, but am going to suck it up and approach her teacher again.