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    Joined: Mar 2013
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    We have committed to taking the plunge by sending DD on a 3 week residential class. This will be her first (other than sleepovers) time away from family.

    Understandably, DW is getting a bit freaked out about this. For myself, I was sent to boarding school at 7 due to not having a mother so I am not that worried because I think that she will be just fine.

    Did any of you send your children away this young? What challenges did they experience? Also, how did they find the CTYclasses in particular and what strategies did you use to 'harden them off', to use the gardening term, prior to sending them on their way?

    All help and advice is appreciated...

    Last edited by madeinuk; 04/01/15 04:27 AM.

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    From another Europeans perspective: DS8, third grade, will go away to a three day sleepover camp with his school later this spring. I know he'll be anxious beforehand, but am confident he'll do fine. I went away in third grade for a five day camp at 7; in retrospect, that was rather too early (I wasn't traumatized or anything but my mom was, having to try and comb my long hair for over an hour when I came back looking like a birds nest because no one bothered to help me with that). Weeklong sleepover camps organized by the school are considered normal from about fourth grade, vacation programs may be two weeks or longer. I know that French kids are routinely sent to 2 weeks+ sleepover summer camps at the seaside by early elementary. So I think that the disconnect is not just due to your unique family situation but also that European kids ARE expected to be self sufficient and independent In that way sooner that US kids.
    However, three weeks IS long for a ten year old, esoecially at a camp where she may not know anyone. Thinks I'd check out beforehand:
    How do they facilitate kids getting to know one another and support group cohesion? Could a kid that doesn't "click" with others feel excluded and lonely, or would she feel part of the group, just not like she'll make friends for life? What is scheduled on the weekends? I think at that age, they should not have a lot of time to themselves. How do they deal with homesickness, calls, emails? A hefty dose of outdoor time in addition to the academic stuff would help with group cohesion and relaxing kids at bedtime.
    What's the emergency plan? I know my kid would have to know we could just come and get him, but be very unlikely to exercise the option.
    Self care and laundry: do they need clothes for three weeks? Is someone doing laundry for them? Is she independent with showering and washing/drying/styling her hair? If she still needs support eg with long hair, you might want to make sure you practice a bit.
    I'd also rehearse options for when she's feeling lonely/homesick: look at photographs? Cuddle a toy? Write an email? Phone? Skype? Go speak to another kid? Speak to a counselor? Empower her.
    I'm sure she'll have a blast!

    Edited to ask if early puberty might be on. The horizon? 10 is early for onset of menstruation but not too early and sleep away camp is notorious for waking up in a puddle of blood if you're a young girl...your wife might want to make sure she knows what to do just in case and has a package of sanitary pads in her bag!

    Last edited by Tigerle; 04/01/15 06:37 AM.
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    Our DD was 13 when she first went off to a 3 week CTY camp (just last summer). So I cannot speak to sending a kid quite as young as yours. However, from everything my DD reported about the camp, I would feel fine sending a younger kid to the camp.

    There is quite a bit of structure to each day (even in the "unstructured" time), the kids are always in groups and always have a TA or RA nearby at all times. Your DD will be in a room with someone about the same age, and on a floor with like aged kids taking a similar (or the same) class. My DD never felt in a more like minded/inclusive group of kids as when she was at JHU-CTY last summer. She is very much looking forward to going back this summer.

    Best of luck,
    --S.F.


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    My ds was also older when he first attended residential CTY camp, but like SFrog, based on his experience, I wouldn't have worries about safety, downtime, or making friends for any age child. DS also loved his class, and he made friends there. Prior to sending him, I'd met (in real life, not online) another parent who's HG+ kid had attended a CTY residential camp (also in middle school) and her experience had been wonderful, and her mom's summary of camp was "she met her people there".

    I do, however, have a 10 year old, and there are things I would consider for that age group specifically (not necessarily CTY-specific, but related to the child's previous experiences and personality):

    1) Be sure the class she's registered for is a subject she's really interested in. The CTY secondary classes, if that's what she's taking, meet not only during the day but also for a few hours after dinner every day.

    2) Has she been away from you for an extended time before? CTY discourages parents from visiting on the weekend (purposely, to build a sense of community and prevent homesickness). The weekends are busy with planned (fun) activities, but for two out of three of my children, that 3 weeks without seeing a parent would have been too much at 10. By the time they were around 12 years old, 3 weeks was fine.

    3) How do you think she'll react if she gets to camp and doesn't like it? We had this happen with my then-12 year old last summer, at a different camp that was also three weeks long. She had been *so* excited to go, she had a ton of friends there, and she's a kid who typically walks into a room full of strangers and has 8 friends within a nanosecond. What happened was she didn't like the classes she was in, and the food in the cafeteria was horrible. About halfway through camp a lot of the kids in the dorm got sick with a stomach virus. It also rained a lot wink DD was on the phone almost nightly from week 1 begging to come home. Full disclaimer: this camp was *not* run as well as the CTY camp - the food at CTY was fine from all reports I've heard, the kids are only in one class and it's a much higher level type class. So CTY has a much higher probability of being a good fit. OTOH, we'd known over 20 families in real life who'd sent their kids to this other camp and had great experiences, so having our usually incredibly adaptable dd have a hard time with it was a very unexpected surprise. The upside - she's adaptable and she soldiered through it. Had the same thing happened to our younger dd, who doesn't deal well with stress when she's not with us, we would undoubtedly have had to send her home after the first week.

    4) Does she need phone calls and electronics for reassurance when she's homesick? CTY doesn't allow electronics other than phones, and campers are only supposed to call home during certain times (I think there was a window each morning and each night). DS called us but felt like he couldn't/shouldn't call each day, and didn't talk for long when he did call. If this sounds horrid, it really wasn't - he had an RA checking in on him and we could tell that from the calls. I feel that if he'd been in a situation where he was feeling homesick we would have been notified right away by CTY. It's just not a camp where a child who is homesick can spend a lot of time talking to parents. The CTY philosophy is that you keep the kids active and engaged to ward off homesickness - and it really works, at least for the older kids.

    DS really loved his camp experience. What he loved was a combo of the experience of living on a college campus, being in a class that was engaging, and he was also a fan of the cheeseburger option at meals. Those things were all great, but I think the best part of it for ds was meeting other kids that he naturally "fit" in with.

    polarbear

    eta - I wanted to clarify - the CTY camps I was referring to are the Intensive Studies camps that you have to have higher qualifying scores for; the other residential camps might be run differently. It's also possible that your child would have a different experience (staff/activities/overall camp experience) at different locations, so you might want to google around or ask specifically about the location you're planning to send your child to.

    Last edited by polarbear; 04/01/15 10:46 AM.
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    My older child has been going to weeklong sleepaway camp since age 7, with zero issue, but she is not the homesick type. My younger child may be ready at 7, but 8 is more likely.

    At 10, 3 weeks might be a bit long, but probably okay if she is the "type" to like that kind of thing. If her only experience away so far is a one-night sleepover, I might see if I can arrange a longer trial somewhere. 1 night to 3 weeks seems like a big jump unless she is a very confident. My DD would probably be just fine because she is that kind of kid...loves new things, makes friends easily. Is your DD "that kind"? Honestly, I do know 10yos for whom this would likely be a disaster. Kids are parented across a wide range these days when it comes to how dependent they are, though. And personality is huge.

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    We are sending her to find her people and make friendships quite frankly the academics are secondary but an important fringe benefit at this point.

    This sort of immersion ought to give her the best chance of doing that

    She likes to think and talk about 'stuff' so the Big Questions class seemed ideal for that. Her first choice was the crystals and polymers but was already full up.

    Our reasoning is that thinking about thinking and questioning assumptions is something that will serve her well whatever else she does later in her educational journey.


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    My socially shy, very quiet DD went to CTY at just-turned-11 and 12. She LOVED it, every minute. The kids are kept quite busy and have two sets of people responsible for them - the teachers of their classes during the day, and the RAs on their hall from 4pm until after breakfast. There are activities planned every afternoon between class and dinner, and I think most evenings after dinner as well. We had medical issues that required phone contact every day, but she barely had time and wanted to get back to... whatever it was she was doing, braiding each other's hair or creating a scavenger hunt for another hall or something.

    The second year, we convinced an acquaintance from school to apply. She had never attended a sleepaway camp, and had only been on a sleepover with a friend once because she would miss her family too much. She had no problems and loved it possibly even more than my DD. (They did not end up in the same hall; both were surrounded by entirely new kids.)

    I understand that each campus has its own culture, so you may want feedback specifically from the campus you are considering. PM me for our campus and details on activities there..


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