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    Joined: Nov 2013
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    At some point all music was "modern music" or music of its time and probably equally decried by parents.

    When younger DD was exposed to our eclectic tastes in music and now we are exposed to hers. We share an iTunes account so what I have on my iPad she has on hers and vice versa. I love learning new music and she has surprising old tunes of mine on her playlists. It's all good. I have no fears of either of us being corrupted and we both live in hope that DH will have his tastes extended!

    I wouldn't be too worried about the social currency aspect. Children take great delight in exposing their friends to the latest in thing. Your DC will like it or not and that in itself prompts an interchange between the kids. Once kids get older they develop their own tastes which may or may not intersect with those of their friends. Learning to accept that not everyone likes the same thing often starts with music!

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    We didn't find music to be the social currency in early grades, but TV and movies. 1st grade DD, when asked by another kid what her favorite TV show was, answered with the only TV show she could name: "Sesame Street."

    Getting the kids to things like the Disney movies, the Lego movie, and the like is also part of this.

    For older grades, while there is popular music, we're finding that there's a whole lot more variety in what it's ok to know and like, thanks to a much broader access to music out there.

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    Having said that, I have boys. If I had girls I would forbid music clips!

    Why the double standard? If you think it sets a bad example for girls, doesn't it set a bad example for boys as well? Boys have a lot to do with the whole situation here.

    FWIW, there's quite a bit of research on all this and especially as kids get older and want access, forbidding/restricting does not improve relationships or create an environment where teens want to share. I'm not crazy about a lot of the crap out there either, but I wanted to listen to it when I was a tween and teen because it was what one did. I don't plan to forbid it, but I do plan to talk about it and the messages it send. It's a conversation we're already having in our house.

    Now, for younger kids, no need to intentionally introduce this stuff. It gets harder with younger sibs...

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    At age 6, my DD had friends who were swooning for Justin Bieber. DD was open in her contempt for him and his music. It didn't cause any problems that we saw.

    These kids DID bond frequently over movies and Disney/Nick TV shows (their imaginary play often meant taking on TV roles and playing them out in absurd ways), so that was a major source of social currency. Also, contrary to what someone said above, they were already Minecrafting, plus playing other cooperative video games like Just Dance and Lego titles. So those were all pop-culture resources that helped DD bridge the gap to other kids.

    As far as music, the most important thing was that there were age-appropriate instruments available for the kids to goof around on (small drum kit, keyboards, recorder, etc.), plus some tolerant adults.

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    Originally Posted by aquinas
    There is no redeeming value--either in terms of musicality or content-- to the over-produced, hyper-sexualized tweenie-bopper genre. Let her be a trendsetter by developing her own unique style.

    But but but but... what if that IS her style?

    Originally Posted by FruityDragons
    Among older (maybe 4th/5th grade, middle school, etc) kids, there is actually a subset of kids to whom Piano Guys are very much a thing.

    Indeed. My DD10 has taken an opportunity to show Piano Guys to every kid who comes over for the last couple of years.

    Which brings me to another point, because all of us old fuddy-duddies have to be careful not to overlook the social currency of YouTube. We have to treat it just like TV... there's a lot of inappropriate material, but as long as they stay within appropriate boundaries, they should be allowed to explore. My DD enjoys (and shares with her friends) song parodies (especially Minecraft ones), people playing Minecraft (especially this Tobuscus guy, who also does the aforementioned song parodies), fail videos, and kids filming themselves doing gymnastics.

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    Sorry--I didn't mean to come off condescending and I probably did. I have a kneejerk tendency to protect as well, and I'm a reflexive snob, so I have to remind myself to be careful. I was interested in the research on protection vs not. I don't think it's necessarily self evident.

    For instance, YouTube is a hard one for me. I agree that it's important social currency these days, but I kind of hate it because it's so easy to end up somewhere sketchy. At the same time, I so don't want to sit there and co-view...yawn. I'm less bothered for DD, who is showing herself to be smart about things that are creepy, but DS is still very young.

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    Also, I wouldn't rely on not needing to forbid because...kids go outside of our homes, YK? This is coming up for me.

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    Originally Posted by ultramarina
    For instance, YouTube is a hard one for me. I agree that it's important social currency these days, but I kind of hate it because it's so easy to end up somewhere sketchy. At the same time, I so don't want to sit there and co-view...yawn. I'm less bothered for DD, who is showing herself to be smart about things that are creepy, but DS is still very young.

    Agree on all points. I'm certainly not interested in co-viewing on a constant basis, but some occasional co-viewing, in which my DD shares with me just like she'd share with her friends, turns adult supervision into a parent-child bonding session at the same time. Some of the stuff she shows me, I find entertaining. We even have sessions where we take turns, so I'll show her some music or some comedy that I like, and see what resonates with her.

    I don't worry so much about her clicking on inappropriate materials (and her interest in fail videos is an easy gateway to that) ever since I observed her, without her knowledge, controlling the computer with a room full of friends, and immediately clicking off of something inappropriate the moment the inappropriate nature of the video became apparent. Of course, she's only 10, so this will require continued future monitoring.

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    I have seen the Anaconda video. Honestly, it made me laugh. I think DD would find it horrifying!

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    I actually feel Anaconda is less of a danger to my 11yo DD, who just wouldn't get it and would definitely not aspire to it (too overtly sexual), than some cute, skinny, teeny white girl she would more identify with singing something vacuous that implies being obsessed with male approval and/or body dissatisfaction. I probably worry more about Seventeen magazine than Nicki Minaj...

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