Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy "I KNOW IT, Mom! I KNOW how to spell it!"

That's what our DS (8) has been saying for the last six months or so when he makes a mistake spelling a word and I tell him he's incorrect. He doesn't miss words often, and when he does, it's usually because one letter is missing or transposed. When he realizes he's not spelled correctly on the first try, he tears up and out comes that phrase. He then goes on to spell the word correctly usually. But if he can't, then it's like he goes into a panic or something. He HATES to be wrong.

I think when we had his spelling lists switched out for more difficult ones last month, he didn't really believe that meant he'd actually HAVE words that he didn't know without study. Now we are seeing the fallout of the TOO EASY words he's had since the beginning of the school year.

Will it just take time for him to adjust to having to actually learn how to spell his new lists? How can we help him do that? We have talked with him and pointed out that we told him he'd have some challenge finally, but it hasn't seemed to help him come to terms with it when it's in his face.

I think time and practice will help. He's never experienced this before and it doesn't feel nice. Do you model this stuff for him and emotion coach him? Make a mistake, point it out and talk about your emotions? Like "Oh MAN! I messed up that bank transfer! Oh DRAT! That is so frustrating! I paid the gas bill twice and forgot the electric bill. Grrr, I'm annoyed at myself because now I'll have to remember next month to pay less on the gas. Oh well, I'll just go an do the electric now. I suppose it's nott hat big a deal, but wow do I feel annoyed, maybe I'll take a walk, etc". Show him that the emotions are OK, and normal, and show him how you deal with them. Help him with perspective, too.

Have you tried explaining to him that the words are harder and that it's totally ok if he misses some words? I've had some success with this but a lot of it is just a personality trait and something that will continue to come up over the years. My son is like this as well and it is very frustrating as a parent. I am trying to teach him that it's ok to not succeed at something immediately and that hard work is effective, but it is not an easily learned lesson.