Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy TEACHER LEFT DS BEHIND!!

Can I just say, I agree with Mahagogo5, we need to know our kids are safe at school. We had an amazing demonstration of schools caring last year at DDs K-12 school. A senior boy, who looked much younger,was walking home after an exam in the middle of the day and was approached by a man in a car. He became quite frightened and ran home. He informed the police and the school. That afternoon every teacher from the school was either on a street corner or in a car patrolling the surrounding suburb to ensure kids got home safely. They had also contacted parents by text and email but it was late in the day and they wanted every child to get home safely.

It all turned out well but I am certainly not worried that DD will be overlooked at her school.

Talked to him about what happened. He thinks his teacher hates him and doesn't like him but then said "she isn't scaring me out of this class we have a really cool science project next semester and I have friends now". So he will stay...I will deteste this woman and I know that my way of advocating for him was not right I should have kept my big mouth shut and now he's paying for my "issues" with the teacher.

Wow Cola, your DS has a great attitude! It's not what you want for him but he is certainly learning a lot about his own strength and capability. Not condoning what is happening for a second but super proud that your little boy shows real character.

Do not beat yourself up over your advocacy. This is not a nice teacher. Full stop. It wasn't going well and you intervened and she is being appalling. You still had to intervene.

Can you talk quietly to the team who are supporting you, not because they can necessarily curb what is happening but so that they know and and they continue to chip away with a full understanding of what is happening at all times.

Thinking of you and your DS

I think if your son wants to stay then the issue of safety needs to be addressed immediately and firmly. Straight to the principal, no argument, no emotion. My son will be accompanied between classes (or whatever works for you and is reasonable. No need for blame or accusations, just this happened therefore this will now happen...

He can be wise beyond his years in situations like these or he can be emotionally intense and refuse to ever leave the house again because the universe is against him and the magnetic tides of something do something to the magnetic ions in peoples brains causing them to act silly or something like that lol

Haven't read everyone's replies, but the phrase that pays here with your school is going to be "duty of care."

JMHO. That is a clear message that you know that THEY know that they are legally liable for anything and everything that happens when he's theirs for the day. He was unsupervised for an extended period of time, and this was apparently completely unnoticed by any adult.

Bad, bad juu-juu.

If you feel that this situation is even potentially the creation of a hostile learning environment because of your (or your son's) advocacy efforts, that's CLEARLY against the law, and it's spelled out in Sec. 504. Retaliation might be hard to prove, but it's not hard to mention that you're thinking it's plausible as an explanation. KWIM?

(You mentioned ADHD-- I'm assuming that you have a 504 plan.)

There is no 504 plan only an IEP in the works. He aces tests but is a c average student for incomplete or missing work. Their statement was that 504,s are for kids who are failing but he isn't so they aren't concerned

I wouldn't seek legal recourse at this point, but when you're making requests for accommodations in the IEP, use this as an example of why your ds needs "____" (you fill in the blank as you see fit).


Actually, an IEP would be for a kid who is failing... because that would be evidence that the child needed individualized instruction to be effectively taught the curriculum. (Note - failing isn't the *only* reason and it's not always a reason for an IEP, just noting the difference between what an IEP is and what a 504 is). A 504 plan is put in place to guarantee that a student with disabilities has equal access to their education. It has nothing to do with grades or performance levels etc. What you need to do is to tie the disorganization evidence (work not turned in etc) to his disability (which you should have some type of evidence of - testing etc), and that's what you need for the 504. If you can show in addition that he needs individualized instruction, then he needs an IEP. The thing to do when advocating is to focus on factual info - what a 504 is, what an IEP is, what evidence you have for your child. Try as much as possible to keep the emotions out of it when talking to the school.

Best wishes,

polarbear

Also just an aside here - OT but maybe worth a mention for parents with extremely disorganized kids or students with other types of 2e challenges. Elementary school can be extremely challenging, but really working on developing those skills in elementary school (and beyond) will pay off! Try not to worry about the grades but keep focusing yourself and your ds (in addition to but outside of the talks re IEP) on figuring out what will help him get those assignments turned in and what will help him learn how to be organized. It may take a long time (it's still a work in progress with my kid who's in high school and who's been working on it since 2nd grade). But every bit of work you put into it will be worth it in the long run Truly!

I also wish I'd realized one silly thing a long time ago - for some kids who have issues with organization and getting homework turned in, there is actually a disconnect in realizing that if the homework doesn't get turned in, the teacher never knows that you actually did it. Seems really like an overly-simple concept - but my extremely high-IQ kid didn't really make that connection until he was a teen - in spite of years and years of us working on getting those assignments turned in!

Hang in there,

polarbear

According to DS here is the whole story:

DS9 went in to the 5th grade gifted class to finish his work as the rest of the class was having their free time and the teacher felt he would be distracted (I understand this). When he was done he left and went to his classroom....nobody there...so he went to the other gifted classroom where sometimes the kids are still nobody was there. He went out to the playground which is adjacent to the parking lot, and there is no fencing or anything that separates the kids on the playground and the people in the parking lot they can literally walk in and out whenever they want to. Nobody on the playground. His plan was to go back to his classroom, sit in front of the door in the hallway and wait. At first he was scared. He thought his teacher left him behind because he's a bad student. Then he panicked when the other class was gone because he thought maybe the whole school had left and everybody forgot about him. While he was walking back to his classroom from the playground a faculty member found him. He asked if she knew where everybody was and she stated yes over "there" at the assembly so he went and found his classroom. His teacher never came up to him, she never asked if he was ok or if he got his work done....nothing was said. So then he was mad. His thought process now is that his teacher hates him and is purposely mean to him but in our house we don't let Bully's dictate our lives so he said "she can't scare me out of the classroom". He now see's his teacher as the same kind of bully who assaulted him last year and spit in his hair (in which case the gifted teacher never reported because DS said he was fine.)

And now I question myself as a parent and wonder if me advocating for him just made everything worst. She was negative to him yes...but before she never "ignored" him like he feels she does now. I can't win.