Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy TEACHER LEFT DS BEHIND!!

I am so upset right now. Got a call from my mom that sometime today DS9 w/ ADHD issues and other learning disabilities was sent to another class to finish work. When he was finished he returned to his class only to find that the door was locked, lights were out and class was gone. he knew nothing about this. So he went outside to look on the playground. He was wandering school grounds, outside, by him self (and this school is open so there aren't gates between the school grounds and "outside world") and it wasn't until a janitor found him that he found out all classes were in an assembly. This is just part of a long slew of issues I have had with this teacher. I am appalled. DS had a full blown panic attack because he thought "the school had left him". Do I have any legal rights as a parent as to the safety of my child? I'm in Arizona. Thanks.

I would want to reach out to a lawyer to see how the awful incident relates to child neglect or abandonment in your state's laws. That should NEVER happen!

Reminds me of our district--kids wander everywhere. I know of a couple kindergarteners who actually left the school building without anyone knowing, and one of them walked home 2 blocks, with street crossings! Of course, the school acted like it was no big deal. We were supposed to pick up one of DS's friends (first grade) last year--the parents sent a note saying we were going to pick him up by the back door. The kid left by a different door and didn't see us so started walking to our house by himself. Of course, we weren't there, Dh was at the school looking for him! Dh reported the kid missing and about 10 min. later I saw the principal and teacher walking together down the sidewalk toward our house, looking for him. Umm...maybe they could have split up, gone different ways, and walked a bit faster? Ugh. Another parent saw him wandering the neighborhood, picked the kid up in her car and brought him back to the school.

Sorry this happened, but I bet the school wouldn't think it's a big deal (if it's anything like ours). Kids as young as 5 just stroll down the halls unsupervised.

This is the stuff of nightmares. Go to the top, Superintendent, principal.

Poor kid - it's awful that he had such a scare. I would definitely speak to the principal about how upsetting this incident was to your DS. If his ADHD is disabling enough, then you can try to write into his IEP that for his safety he must be accompanied by an adult at all times. That way, you would have legal recourse if he is left alone again in a classroom.

Our district is similar to Blackcat's (but without incidents of kids actually leaving school grounds)in that even 5-year-old Kindergarteners are allowed to travel the hallways as long as they have a pass. DS used to be the designated errand boy for his class to the school office back in K. Because DS was subject accelerated for math in 2nd grade, he occasionally came back to an empty classroom due to assemblies or other activities. A few times he ended up having to go ask at the school office when he either forgot or didn't pay attention during morning announcements.

Is there anything legally I could do about this? I went to the super intendant, who directed me to the principal. This was last year when this same teacher failed to let us know that our son had been physically assaulted by another child - and I don't mean he had his hair pulled but he was punched in the chest right on the sternum and kicked in the head by this "bully". We were told the situation would be handled. Then everything else that had happened and now this. I just can't handle it anymore. Can I legally take him out of that class? It's the only gifted 4th grade class there is.

Cola - can you change schools, or even homeschool the rest of the year? It sounds like the school /class is a very bad fit for you and your son. Gifted issues aside, you need to know he is safe and if you aren't getting that reassurance you need to look elsewhere. As you have a history of combatance with the teacher and suspect retaliation I don't think legal recourse is going to do anything except make your sons life miserable, there may be an innocent explanation - perhaps the teacher told your son and he forgot, is that plausable?

Yes that is always plausabile and something we have discussed.

I don't know what I'm doing I'm so frustrated

It was a scary thing to have happen Cola. How is your DS?

I am a little surprised the class he was in didn't take him along to assembly with them or was he alone?

On top of all the other dramas you have been having this must just feel like the last straw.

What are your options with changing schools or homeschooling or something else because you do not need to have this stress and be worried about what is happening at school all day. You have had some recent success which is great. Do you think it's enough to keep your DS in place?

I know nothing about your legal avenues. I certainly would address it with the Principal and the IEP team as it isn't acceptable. Beyond that the legal stuff might just be ever more stress, but it's your call.

Can I just say, I agree with Mahagogo5, we need to know our kids are safe at school. We had an amazing demonstration of schools caring last year at DDs K-12 school. A senior boy, who looked much younger,was walking home after an exam in the middle of the day and was approached by a man in a car. He became quite frightened and ran home. He informed the police and the school. That afternoon every teacher from the school was either on a street corner or in a car patrolling the surrounding suburb to ensure kids got home safely. They had also contacted parents by text and email but it was late in the day and they wanted every child to get home safely.

It all turned out well but I am certainly not worried that DD will be overlooked at her school.

Talked to him about what happened. He thinks his teacher hates him and doesn't like him but then said "she isn't scaring me out of this class we have a really cool science project next semester and I have friends now". So he will stay...I will deteste this woman and I know that my way of advocating for him was not right I should have kept my big mouth shut and now he's paying for my "issues" with the teacher.

Wow Cola, your DS has a great attitude! It's not what you want for him but he is certainly learning a lot about his own strength and capability. Not condoning what is happening for a second but super proud that your little boy shows real character.

Do not beat yourself up over your advocacy. This is not a nice teacher. Full stop. It wasn't going well and you intervened and she is being appalling. You still had to intervene.

Can you talk quietly to the team who are supporting you, not because they can necessarily curb what is happening but so that they know and and they continue to chip away with a full understanding of what is happening at all times.

Thinking of you and your DS

I think if your son wants to stay then the issue of safety needs to be addressed immediately and firmly. Straight to the principal, no argument, no emotion. My son will be accompanied between classes (or whatever works for you and is reasonable. No need for blame or accusations, just this happened therefore this will now happen...

He can be wise beyond his years in situations like these or he can be emotionally intense and refuse to ever leave the house again because the universe is against him and the magnetic tides of something do something to the magnetic ions in peoples brains causing them to act silly or something like that lol

Haven't read everyone's replies, but the phrase that pays here with your school is going to be "duty of care."

JMHO. That is a clear message that you know that THEY know that they are legally liable for anything and everything that happens when he's theirs for the day. He was unsupervised for an extended period of time, and this was apparently completely unnoticed by any adult.

Bad, bad juu-juu.

If you feel that this situation is even potentially the creation of a hostile learning environment because of your (or your son's) advocacy efforts, that's CLEARLY against the law, and it's spelled out in Sec. 504. Retaliation might be hard to prove, but it's not hard to mention that you're thinking it's plausible as an explanation. KWIM?

(You mentioned ADHD-- I'm assuming that you have a 504 plan.)

There is no 504 plan only an IEP in the works. He aces tests but is a c average student for incomplete or missing work. Their statement was that 504,s are for kids who are failing but he isn't so they aren't concerned

I wouldn't seek legal recourse at this point, but when you're making requests for accommodations in the IEP, use this as an example of why your ds needs "____" (you fill in the blank as you see fit).


Actually, an IEP would be for a kid who is failing... because that would be evidence that the child needed individualized instruction to be effectively taught the curriculum. (Note - failing isn't the *only* reason and it's not always a reason for an IEP, just noting the difference between what an IEP is and what a 504 is). A 504 plan is put in place to guarantee that a student with disabilities has equal access to their education. It has nothing to do with grades or performance levels etc. What you need to do is to tie the disorganization evidence (work not turned in etc) to his disability (which you should have some type of evidence of - testing etc), and that's what you need for the 504. If you can show in addition that he needs individualized instruction, then he needs an IEP. The thing to do when advocating is to focus on factual info - what a 504 is, what an IEP is, what evidence you have for your child. Try as much as possible to keep the emotions out of it when talking to the school.

Best wishes,

polarbear

Also just an aside here - OT but maybe worth a mention for parents with extremely disorganized kids or students with other types of 2e challenges. Elementary school can be extremely challenging, but really working on developing those skills in elementary school (and beyond) will pay off! Try not to worry about the grades but keep focusing yourself and your ds (in addition to but outside of the talks re IEP) on figuring out what will help him get those assignments turned in and what will help him learn how to be organized. It may take a long time (it's still a work in progress with my kid who's in high school and who's been working on it since 2nd grade). But every bit of work you put into it will be worth it in the long run Truly!

I also wish I'd realized one silly thing a long time ago - for some kids who have issues with organization and getting homework turned in, there is actually a disconnect in realizing that if the homework doesn't get turned in, the teacher never knows that you actually did it. Seems really like an overly-simple concept - but my extremely high-IQ kid didn't really make that connection until he was a teen - in spite of years and years of us working on getting those assignments turned in!

Hang in there,

polarbear

According to DS here is the whole story:

DS9 went in to the 5th grade gifted class to finish his work as the rest of the class was having their free time and the teacher felt he would be distracted (I understand this). When he was done he left and went to his classroom....nobody there...so he went to the other gifted classroom where sometimes the kids are still nobody was there. He went out to the playground which is adjacent to the parking lot, and there is no fencing or anything that separates the kids on the playground and the people in the parking lot they can literally walk in and out whenever they want to. Nobody on the playground. His plan was to go back to his classroom, sit in front of the door in the hallway and wait. At first he was scared. He thought his teacher left him behind because he's a bad student. Then he panicked when the other class was gone because he thought maybe the whole school had left and everybody forgot about him. While he was walking back to his classroom from the playground a faculty member found him. He asked if she knew where everybody was and she stated yes over "there" at the assembly so he went and found his classroom. His teacher never came up to him, she never asked if he was ok or if he got his work done....nothing was said. So then he was mad. His thought process now is that his teacher hates him and is purposely mean to him but in our house we don't let Bully's dictate our lives so he said "she can't scare me out of the classroom". He now see's his teacher as the same kind of bully who assaulted him last year and spit in his hair (in which case the gifted teacher never reported because DS said he was fine.)

And now I question myself as a parent and wonder if me advocating for him just made everything worst. She was negative to him yes...but before she never "ignored" him like he feels she does now. I can't win.

In terms of 504/IEP and ADHD, this is a good article.
10 Common Myths That Some Schools Purvey
ADDitude Magazine fall 2011
Matthew Cohen, JD

I don't know how to link it here but if you google it will come up. Even to get an IEP, kids with ADHD just have to have their educational performance adversely affected compared to their peers (this generally means they are slow to get work done, or are not getting the work done). The school district is arguing with us about that as well, but all they need to do (according to the State) is to document how slow DD is and how that impacts her. Grades/achievement scores are a factor, but not the only thing. Right now she has a 504, which is generally for kids who have a documented disabililty requiring accommodations which could be anything (like a kid who is in a wheelchair and needs help with doors). Generally IEPs are for "more" impaired kids who need more in terms of actual specialized services/instruction.

WEll he also has 3 learning disabilities so the IEP is also for speech therapy, executive function disorder, motor apraxia and dysgraphia.

Sorry I forgot to comment on your other post. Our experience has been that many teachers (and even principals) act like catty Jr. High girls and take it personally whenever a parent makes a complaint (or sometimes even a suggestion). It really is a difficult situation to navigate and you have to think big picture--as in, will your efforts improve a situation and get your child what he needs long term, or just change things for a couple months, etc.? Then you pick your battles. I'm not sure what happened with that teacher (sorry can't remember), but if you are getting an IEP or certain services and it wouldn't have happened without your advocacy, then you did the right thing.

He as continuously getting in trouble, missing out on fun activities and getting low scores because of "illegible" work or "half-assed" worked. I knew there was something going on but according to the teacher "He probably has ADHD. My kid has ADHD and is medicated and she's such a good student now. I bet the same would be true for "DS". Instead we decided to get him tested because my gut told me something else was going on. Turned out to be Executive Function Deficit, Motor Apraxia and Dysgraphia along with ADHD. When the occupation therapist during the IEP meeting told her about the accommodations to help him with writing her exact words were "we need to get this kid ready for the real world" and "he isn't failing, he just gets lazy". I wouldn't have really bothered except he had to watch the other kids get to play outside, get a treat, etc while he had to "try" and rewrite a number of items because it was illegible. Turned out he couldn't control it like a child with a crooked spine can't help limping.

If she was refusing to accept a medical diagnosis, then you did the right thing. Just to note, though, my DS has the same issue and he CAN get lazy. The school needs to make accommodations but I also told them if it looks like he's not trying or he gets excessively sloppy, they should push him a bit. In other words, make accommodations, but there also needs to be some expectations based on what we know he CAN do when he tries. I'm not saying that is going on with your DS (for all I know he always does his best), but it's possible for there to be a gray area, where the child has a disability, but also isn't putting in the required effort. If he was doing his best, but she was keeping him from fun activities, obviously that is wrong and you need to stand up for him.

Oh the kid can get lazy for sure. And I can tell the difference. It's in his paperwork from the neuropsych evaluation that he should be given positive reinforcement for trying even if the outcome isn't that great because it's "obvious he has been inundated with negative outcomes for quite some time that he has learned helplessness". their words exactly. Her words were "why should I reward him for something he should already be doing?"....um because he CANT do it. Theres a difference between Cant and Wont and after numerous tests and long hours and a few thousand dollars it was confirmed he CANT do it.

Well I just spoke w/ the principal. She stated that when a child has to go to another classroom to do work, they just go and find a classroom. Their own teacher doesn't know where they are and there is no communication in regards to that. So his teacher didn't even know where he was. The other teacher states he left before she could remind him there was an assembly. The principal also stated they just put up gates around the playground area and although it isn't locked it isn't like "someone could just walk in and grab him".

wow that is totally NOT an acceptable response. Is this a public school? (not that should matter). The school is entrusted with our kids. They are to know where the children in their care is at all times. I am appalled at that principal's response. Time to take it to the superintendent or even to the school board.

Didn't see this when I wrote the post on the other thread.

I agree the attitude is unacceptable and you should look at your options. The processes are slack and if the principal accepts that then it will flow down into the teaching staff, which it obviously has.

Sorry Cola. It's a really bad situation

Yep she said it was up to the student to locate another class with an open computer. I've never heard of that.

I have to get him into another school

Yeah, I think you do. Do you have some options?

Not much but we are looking and researching.

Honestly, even if you pull your child from this school, that is the sort of thing (lack of attendance to their duty of care for a child) that someone in your state needs to be made aware of.


I'd send a letter of understanding to the person who "confirmed" this as school policy for you. Then tuck that away until you are gone-gone-gone from there, and turn it over to whoever seems appropriate at the state dept. of education or the local board.

That is uncool for any student. Ever.

I think it is odd that the teacher doesn't know where the kids are and I think she she should have sent someone to find him. I am also sorry he was upset. But when I read the title of the thread I sassumed someone had left a 5 or 6 year old behind on a field trip. Would you be so upset if you had only had good experiences prior to that?

I would still be upset even if I loved the teacher but I wouldn't be as upset if something was actually done. Seeing as how this isn't the first time something has happened (by teachers own omission) and the fact Ds never had any issues until this teacher everything is scrutinized by me. If this were a different teacher I would be just as upset...if this were story were about someone else's kid I would be just as upset. I am passionate about the safety of all kids and the fact that I have 7 year old daughter who goes to this school as well concerns me.

Have you thought about bringing up the safety concerns with the school's PTA? Our local PTAs would be all over it! And they also provide a place where parents can come together as a voice that can sometimes influence school policy on issues like this. Depends on the school and district of course, but it's something I'd definitely consider.

If you continued to get push-back from the school's principal, I'd also consider networking with parents at other local elementaries, see if they have similar concerns, maybe consider taking the issue to your school board or going together as a group to talk with the district administration.

I can't imagine that you'd have any problem at all finding other parents who share your concerns!

polarbear

Cola, I don't know how your public schools operate, but you might be able to use this to help with petition or hardship transfer. It's the sort of thing that's used for kids who really need a different school because their primary residence is in one school area but they are staying longterm in another or a different school has a particular program they need or other circumstances like that. I used this process because DDs original public school made it clear they could not accommodate her.