Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Competitions. How young is too young?

I was listening to a radio talk about the current state of the careers of professional classical pianists - the panel seemed to agree that the performers outnumber the audiences (it was said tongue in cheek).

DD was on track for American Protege before all the changes in our life. It would have been so much work.
Her friend does violin competitions and it is interesting how there are so many levels to competitions. The mother researches and decides which ones her daughter could be "competitive" at, but she told me these are not the top level. The top level is super difficult and those are the ones when kids tour at 12 etc. But going to them is expensive too, like all competitions. I was a competitive figure skater and that is almost as bad as horseback riding. You need close to 100K per year to pay the top coaches. A kid has to want to compete.

I always see two different "levels" of competitions: the expensive, cutthroat ones that are basically about winning, which personally I would not take a 5-year-old to; and competitions that are more 'friendly' and have a more cooperative atmosphere. I guess usually where I live they're called festivals and usually for older kids and/or orchestras. In my mind they're two distinct categories. Even if your child is planning for a career as a classical musician, some kids love that competitiveness of the first type and some kids seem to be negatively affected by it no matter how old they are. Like you said, kids really have to WANT that - if you're not sure if she would, I'd wait, myself.

I think I'm having a lot of questions and doubts since we're trying to navigate a world that seems to require an insane amount of work and commitment from young children and their parents.

It so happens that we're undecided about next year's school option. I am not too crazy about sending DD to a classroom where she won't learn anything academically. Unschooling might be a better alternative for us for the next few years and that could mean that DD would be practicing a lot naturally.

I need to decide what educational setting would be in DD's best interest for the next school year and see how preparing for the competition(s) on top of recitals and exams would fit into our life, and not the other way around.

An update.

We decided to let DD choose as we didn't have compelling reasons to stop her if she wants to participate.

I had a talk with DD throughout yesterday about competitions. At first, DD thought it sounded like a race and the best one wins prizes. I told her that it's more like a recital and the meaningful part is getting objective feedback from professional violinists. And the icing on the cake is that as she advances, she might earn opportunities to solo with a real orchestra. To that she responded, "You mean my DREAM can come TRUE?"

I'm taking this with a grain of salt since her dream changes every 6 months or so. First, she wanted to be a ballerina (age 2.5), then an orthopedic surgeon (age 3 to 3.5), and then a jazz musician (3.5 and onward). She had never expressed any desires to become a classical concert soloist before but she is 4 and she is more than entitled to dream about whatever her little heart desires.

Anyhow, now that she has put it that way, who are we to stand on her way of reaching her dream (cough, cough)?

I think having in-home recitals is a great idea (and bit of a stepping stone). That's not to say that she can't do a competition/class recital as well...but the home recitals are a great way to hone her skills for a particular goal without so much pressure. As a performer myself, I will say that there is nothing like performing in front of an audience. It's way to engage in that experience, without the high stakes. AND you can serve wine and cheese.

The probability that she becomes a classical musician is not high, but it is not zero, either. In addition, the pursuit of low-probability dreams can have benefits even if the goal is not achieved. I never became world chess champion, but the dream of becoming one motivated me to train and become a very good player.

FWIW, our area has a low-level festival run by the local piano teachers association. My DD did her first piano competition at 7. She was very relaxed and performed beautifully. She won her division and got to perform in a special concert.

The following year when she knew what the competition meant, she was an anxious wreck. Preparation was truly miserable but her teacher thought that DD would be fine once she got tot the competition. At the competition, she only played part of her piece and then blanked out. The judge wrote a heart-felt critique that pointed out that DD was one of the most expressive piano students that she had ever heard and that what she did play, she played beautifully. DD quit piano the following week. I couldn't even get her to do her end-of-the year recital which was scheduled for a month later.

I still run in to DD's former piano teacher. She regrets DD giving up piano because DD had "a lot of potential" and has said to me that it would have been better if DD hadn't done the competition. She wistfully asks if I think that DD will ever come back and I have to tell her "No."

DD now plays another instrument and still loves music. It's now several years later. DD finally will touch the piano. She will play melodies so that she can figure out how they should sound on her other instrument but that's about it.

How on earth do we prevent this? My dd who is only 4 is already starting to balk at doing anything in front of anyone - and it really is only ever just for fun, she has inherited my extreme stage fright by the looks of things, soooo sad.

Dorothy Delay said something like prodigies' nervous system is wired differently and those kids actually feel calmer in front of the audience.

My DD is NOT a prodigy and she gets nervous about playing but she gets into a "zone" and she delivers.

She is only 4 so I don't know how her ability to perform on stage is going to change. knute974, thank you for sharing your DD's story. I will definitely remember it when we need to make a final decision about her participation. I'm glad that the experience did not stop her from picking up a different instrument.

Bostonian, you're right of course that it's more about the process than the goal. As far as a childhood hobby goes though, classical music is...expensive. The amount of money we are spending on her music lessons relative to our income only makes sense if this is going to be more than just a pastime for her but she's much too young for anyone to be thinking about her career. I feel we're over-invested in this particular area and we need to scale back even if it might be her dream to become a concert soloist.

Marnie, I do have a few friends who wouldn't say no to free wine and cheese even if they'd have to listen to my DD play music. Her piano teacher has been very helpful in making public performance "normal" for her but I also want DD to know that performance doesn't have to be going on a big stage in front of strangers and that it can be fun and stress-free.

Mahagogo5, a lot of people seems to think young children do not get stage fright but I've seen more than a few young children refuse to go on stage, including my DD. Have you tried getting her to perform at home for people she likes?