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    Joined: Jun 2012
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    Yes she loves playing for us and her teacher- mostly it's anything but piano. She's fine with that but won't sing, dance, ask questions etc for fear of being laughed at. Im sure it will extend to piano eventually. We have a laughter filled home which isn't goin to change (hopefully) but she struggles to tell when people are laughing with joy and delight compared to being laughed at...,

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    We haven't done formal recitals or competitions, but #1 sings for church in solo and ensemble, and brings down the house at summer camp. That's the child who's a natural performer. #2, on the other hand, is very reluctant to play in public, even in front of a fairly small group of friends--unless a member of the family plays too. Totally different scenario when a parent or older sib is on stage too.

    Maybe performing with a close friend, family member, or trusted teacher might be a good stepping stone?


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    About stage fright, my son did 4 performances for his school in December and will do 3 or 4 more in a few weeks (possibly 6 if they ask him to do talent show in May) as the MC for the dance and music show. He did one performance in both English and Spanish (the rest English only) announcing all the acts. A kid (son of the art teacher) came up after the performance and asked "How do you do that? How do you not get nervous? and my son answered "How do you know I am not nervous?"

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    Originally Posted by MichelleC
    But her son - very like both his parents - is *deeply* motivated by competition. Any kind of school work, homework, project, artistic endeavour, even play activities - frame it in a competitive way and he enthusiastically gives it his all, wants to work hard, learn more, engage more. Take away the competitive element and blah. He's checked out and half-hearted at best. My DS, in contrast, loathes any possible hint of competition, and thrives only when it's not there.

    I see a parallel here with my kids and piano. My DS10 would represent the competitive version - he's motivated by recitals and will practice with a recital in mind even though it's not coming up for months. DD12, on the other hand, has always been motivated by the music and saw recitals as a necessary evil. She'll be lit from within by a song that she loves and practice it happily, but has to be dragged up on to the recital stage. They've always been like this - it's a reflection of their temperaments rather than their ages.

    So I'd say it should be assessed on a child-by-child basis. First, is the child motivated and inspired by competing, and second, how does the child handle defeat? If those two aspects are healthy and appropriate, then age isn't as much of a factor.

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