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    Originally Posted by Dude
    In your place, I would look at bringing my DD to a competition as an observer. Let her see what the competition experience is like, what she would be up against, etc. And then I'd let her make the call. If it's something she wants to be a part of next go round, fine. If not, that's perfectly fine, too.
    Great idea. smile

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    If you feel she's ready for it, and she feels ready for it, AND her teacher feels ready for it, it wouldn't hurt to try to find a competition - you don't need to enter yet. I would try to make sure that the piece she plays is either something she's already working on normally or one she wouldn't need an excessive amount of time to learn - you want it to be a good, challenging experience but not too stressful since it's her first competition.

    I don't know if something exists like this where you live, or for her age, but could you find a Solo and Ensemble type thing? Usually the way they work is: the student plays a solo (or a duet, trio, etc) for a judge. They receive a rating, I-IV, with I being the best. I've only seen them in my area for middle and high schoolers, but I googled it and saw one elsewhere for younger students. Plus, the youngest students could opt for a "comments only" judging system (versus rating and comments). This would be really nice if you could find it, because she's still got the motivation to do well and a competitive atmosphere, but she's only competing against herself. Also, if you go comments only, it would be a nice way to see if she likes it. You could even try a duet, if she liked that idea. However, you'd probably find something in that style, but not called Solo and Ensemble, at that age.

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    DD started doing 4-H in 1st when she was 6 and participated in "competitions" but they don't really truly complete until 3rd grade. She did her first real competition (a math contest) at 8 but didn't realize it was a competition rather than just a fun math challenge until I took her to the award ceremony. That went pretty well because then she could just be surprised and excited when she got an award, instead of disappointed that she didn't get first place. She was crushed to get "only" 2nd place in the 2nd grade spelling bee even though she lost on "millennium" which (as she complained) definitely wasn't on the 2nd grade spelling list.

    I lean toward thinking 4 is really too young for a competition in which someone wins and someone loses. My DS is about a year older than yours and I think he's even a couple years too young.

    Last edited by Aufilia; 02/20/15 09:49 PM.
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    What does the teacher get out of it and why would she be unwilling to tutor without that commitment, that's what I would be wondering.

    As for too young, my DD4 would be fine and I would let her enter and to be fair I think learning to be a good loser is a valuable skill, so esp if she would lose the plot at not winning....

    I am not overly competitive now and I was not at all competitive as a child, but I wish I had been, I think I missed out on some good opportunities because I was unwilling to stick my neck out.

    I think if your daughter is mature enough to take her disappointment home rather than losing her temper in public, then it could be good for her development to learn healthy competition. I think if you aren't stage parents then you are likely to be able to guide her very well in this. From what I've seen competition is often innate and she isn't likely to change that desire to win. You can always try it once and see how she goes, future comps dependant on how she handles things.

    I also like the idea of watching a couple of comps and letting her see how the participants handle themselves, I know my DD really responds well to modelling of that nature.

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    Thank you everyone for your thoughtful replies. They've all been very helpful as I try to get to the bottom of my confusion.

    DD was a real sore loser when she was 2 even though all we were playing were collaborative board games. We've been working on this issue continuously and she has improved quite a bit. On the other hand, with soccer, she couldn't care less if her team won or lost. She hated it so much that she just wanted to be out of there.

    I'm all for teaching her to handle competitions in a healthy manner and be gracious about winning and losing. I'm just not so sure if music needs to be involved in that process. On the other hand, she has become a little diva when it comes to music that I think she could use a reality check. It might make her more competitive in the long run but I think it's better for her to realize that she's not the only competent musician under the sun sooner than later (to be fair, she has acknowledged that one other person is a better pianist than she is but he is a seasoned professional jazz pianist).

    I'm feeling rather neutral about piano competitions. I will take her to a piano festival this summer to see if she likes the atmosphere. Her teacher has mentioned competitions in passing but she knows piano is DD's secondary instrument and we want her piano journey to be fun and stress-free.

    We've only had 2 lessons thus far with her new string teacher but we've been having a lengthy discussion regarding DD's aptitude, curriculum, goals, and potential. I do believe we are on the same page overall but she's a bit more pro-competitions than we are for DD. Anyhow, we are still talking and we seem to be going towards the direction that she'll have DD on a "competition diet" and we'll enter next year (2016) if DD is more predictable than she is now and we should know more after the winter recitals.

    Thank you everyone again. I do think she is far too young to be focusing on one activity at the expense of everything else. I need to find a balance without making her feel that we don't respect her own choices and that is a lot easier said than done.

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    I'm baffled by the idea of music competitions. If it exists where you are it probably exists in my area. But I have only heard of annual music 'tests' that students take these days and various music performances, shows, ensembles, and youth orchestra's. Admittedly it can be a competition to try out and make it into these ensembles. But what you win in the right to participate and perform not trophies or awards. If she is playing strings is there a youth orchestra she would like to challenge herself to get a spot in. Are their youth chamber music groups in your area?

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    bluemagic, the youth orchestra in our city has a very strict age requirement and DD will be eligible to audition in 4 years.

    There are string group classes but most of those are aimed at 4th grade and up. What DD really wants to join is an improvisational class for string jazz band but I don't think that's going to happen for many, many years.

    The competition her teacher has in mind is a state competition. The winners then move to a regional semi-final. I believe there is substantial scholarship money involved but that's not really a consideration for us. We certainly do not expect DD to win anything.

    We've been dealing with a lot of minimum age requirements since last summer. DD ended up not doing the summer camp her former teacher wanted her to participate since the people in charge wanted her doing beginning and non-music things with other preschoolers when she was ready for technique and music theory classes. Her new teacher is not a big fan of the Suzuki method so we are not doing any Suzuki group classes either. It's rather sad that we can't access the resources in our community.

    Anyhow, DD had her 3rd lesson with her new teacher and I think we're going into the right direction. Her new teacher is determined to get rid of all of DD's sloppiness and for once, DD is actually cooperating. She is a different child. The new work load is very demanding and technical but DD is loving it. I've never seen her smile so much during her lessons.

    I'm still not sure if I want her on a stage facing a panel of judges when she's only 5 and I still believe she can learn without dealing with competition but as her teacher puts it, you'll only learn to perform by performing. I might have to hold a lot of home recitals with friends and family.

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    I have never heard of music competitions either. I thought kids went to music to learn to play and to improve on their own performance. Exams I have

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    Originally Posted by bluemagic
    I'm baffled by the idea of music competitions. If it exists where you are it probably exists in my area.
    Here is an example of a music competition:
    http://www.kaufmanmusiccenter.org/kc/about/youth-piano-competition/
    This one starts at age 7, but a highly talented 6 year old I know participated in it 2 years ago.

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    Originally Posted by puffin
    I have never heard of music competitions either. I thought kids went to music to learn to play and to improve on their own performance.
    They do, but some children and their parents dream of becoming professional classical musicians. The job market for classical musicians is so bleak that competitions can serve a useful winnowing purpose. If you aren't winning them, you can certainly continue to play for enjoyment and take lessons, but you will likely not make a good living from classical music.

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