Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Volunteering in class

NO...don't appologize I liked your post!

I agree that it seems the teacher could utilize better classroom management techniques to encourage more equal participation.

There is a difference between being brash and blurting out answers if not called on, and raising one's hand indicating a willingness to contribute to the classroom discussion. Is it possible that the situation of one boy dominating the responses was like the experience shared by another poster, in which their son speaks out of turn but is not corrected publicly on the spot?

Raising your hand every time is not a problem shouting out your answer is. But it can get a bit tiresome putting your hand up and never getting called. At university I took it one step further and only answered questions in tutorials when I wasn't confident of my answer. Not the best approach at primary school but I think my lecturers understood (or they thought I was a complete idiot).

Exactly.

Yes, and then there are the teachers who will only call on certain students when their hand is NOT raised. ugh.

Just to be clear about how DS7's teacher handles it when he blurts - she does correct him on the spot, just not in a way that humiliates him.

It's more like "DS7 - I'd like to give OtherKid a chance to say what he thinks. Then we'll get ideas from others, including you."

It's less like "DS7 - you are being so rude and disrespectful. Why can't you behave like the other kids."

And another important point - when he raises his hand, she does come back to him for his thoughts after other kids speak.

This is 180 degrees from Evil Kindergarten Teacher. And it has actually allowed him to grow and improve his impulse control instead of having him spiral more and more into unhappiness and lack of control.

Blurting and interrupting are not OK. Not blurting and not interrupting are learned skills, and harder to learn for some kids. I'm so glad DS has a teacher that will teach him "not blurting, not interrupting" rather than just scold and humiliate him for not having already learned it.

Of course - this doesn't stop other parents from rolling eyes and treating DS and me like pariahs. But that's another topic!

Thanks for clarifying. This sounds ideal! Wish everyone took this approach.

just a simple idea - maybe dd can count to 3 or 5 before putting up her hand. Gives the other kids time to show they know the answer (without the "knowitall" beating them) but also lets the teacher know she is following and potentially has the answer.


I like suevv's answer about the little and big questions though.

I think a chat with the teacher would be valuable, she might be able to come up with a strategy that works with everyone. I'm having a time with DD4 now who doesn't like to show she can do well at music and gym so she's missing out, I think we are making progress by just telling her that the teacher/coach isn't a mind reader and can't be expected to know dd is great at it.

I have to say that I am in agreement with your DH. DS & DD both figured out pretty early on (end of K to 1st) that it makes more sense for them to volunteer when they have something potentially unique to say or if other kids are stuck rather than constantly keep their hands in the air. The exception is when it is a contest situation and/or prizes are being offered. I was somewhat surprised when DS volunteered in K that nobody likes a smarty pants and it isn't necessary to try to hog all the questions. I kind of didn't expect them to figure it out until 2nd. Actually, if they hadn't figure this out by 4th grade, I probably would have had a talk with them because that appears to be the grade when kids tend to ostracize certain kids.

However, this doesn't mean that they do not speak up or that all the other kids and teachers can't tell that they are knowledgeable. DS actually talks a lot but he leaves all the easy questions for the other kids. DD waits until the wrong/incomplete answers annoy her and she wants to move the class along. It's a question of picking the best moments and giving other kids a chance to shine.

"Wish everyone took this approach."

Oh boy - so do I. I'm not saying it's all roses between DS and this teacher. But she really, truly works with my son and knows good strategies to support him and bring out his best. It's probably relevant to point out that she has three sons - and two are on the spectrum.

I know we can't hope for this every year ....

Of note in this particular situation...other kids were stuck, mostly offering wrong answers. The one other boy was correct.

Also, this area is DD's passion. I guess that was what shocked me. Maybe I should be shocked at her maturity...she is not generally mature. Instead, I wondered if she has learned all too well the lesson of "Don't stand out."

DD is also not a child who is problematic in this way. If anything, she is a quiet hand-raiser who puts her hand down too easily. She used to be a know-everything...I think she stopped a while back.