Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy 1 Yr Math Advance -DD Needs 3-No Teacher Support

I struggled between putting this here or in the testing forum. Because DD has yet to take the test, I'm sticking it here to seek advice.

DD's MAP test in the fall was at 220 (98%) for 3rd grade math. Her growth target is 230 by Spring. She took the Winter test in mid-December (we were surprised because school discontinued winter testing but her class was tested anyway). She only grew 1 point. No surprise to us as everything is a repeat and the teacher does not support differentiation.

The school has a "high ability" program in which they state they will only teach 1 year ahead. The teacher has made it clear to us this is the program.

The problem: The principal has posted a "school improvement plan" which states they will meet 100% of student's personal growth goals in NWEA reading and math prominently on the school's home page.

The school has a guideline that students must achieve 95% if they are to remain in the program. Next, year, 4th graders must achieve 98% or above if they are to advance in middle school

What the teacher is doing seems engineered to provide DD a guaranteed fail.

When we relayed this to the teacher, she stated they do not teach 3 years ahead and offered us no other solution. Meanwhile, she has been pulling groups in her class to help them prep for Spring MAP (DD has heard everything they are doing). She is basically teaching them to the test everything that DD already knows and has not pulled DD 1 time allowing her to fail.

The Spring test is in April. State testing is in March. DD's teacher said if she is to work with DD it will only be after state testing, and maybe only 1 time per week. She is not supportive at all.

DH and I disagree on what to do. I feel the teacher is responsible for providing some type of support to help DD succeed (per the improvement plan). DH says it's unrealistic to expect this and that the teacher probably does not have materials or knowledge to teach DD at that level in the 3rd grade.

Meanwhile, DD sits in class doing low level work and watching others learn.

I am feeling like not taking the Spring test and citing the above reason. DH says I would look like a lunatic to the school system and would be ostracized. I feel like we have no good choices and would like others advice for this situation in dealing with a completely recalcitrant teacher.

Based on your daughter's score, a placement one year ahead would be appropriate.

You want to skip to the level just above where mastery has been achieved, and scoring at or above the 90th percentile indicates mastery--students scoring at the 50th percentile have *not* mastered grade level material.

Looking at the RIT score tables, a fall score of 220 equates to just under the 90th percentile (89th, actually) in fall of 4th grade, so if she had been placed in a 4th grade math class in the fall, it would have been appropriate.

We've run into similar problems at our MAP-testing schools, although the schools do not threaten to remove students from the programs if they are underchallenged...my DC are just sometimes underchallenged and the school does not always have a program for them.

I see your dilemma and you are not alone. I have two DC who often have extreme scores and the school has usually not volunteered to teach them at the "level" their own testing suggests. The teachers usually just remark, "Wow, those are high." Our schools do use differentiation, though - it just typically has not been enough, as they are stuck in their correct age-level grade. The scores usually have just placed them in the high grouping for grade.

Our solution has been to talk to the schools and teachers, while afterschooling at the correct level at home. It is a VERY imperfect solution, and honestly, is not fair to my kiddos. The good news is, though - my DC are making progress.

I wouldn't refuse to test - I see the test as one objective measure of what my DC was able to learn...and incidentally, DD9's MAP scores correlated pretty well with her EXPLORE scores this past year, as well as what I see IRL. So I do not think the scores are meaningless.

Our teachers are trying, but our sticking point is getting differentiation beyond grade level. DS6 is at the 99th percentile in math - 3 grades up. DD9 is at the 99th percentile one grade up in reading and math, and has very high percentiles - for 8th grade. Her scores best correlate with the average G&T 8th graders in our schools (she is "off the charts" for 8th graders in the "regular" classes), but she is in G&T 4th grade. No grade skips here, although DD is now old enough to be in G&T - DS is not. Our work with the schools is ongoing, but at the end of the day my goal is for my children to learn. I will help them if I have to.

To prepare for advocacy, you may wish to print the statement from the school's home page (before it is changed, updated, or removed). You may wish to gather evidence of your daughter's fall score (220), winter score (221), and spring target (230). Having these source documents in hand, you may wish to meet with the principal and review these documents. Calmly ask what strategies are in place for helping your daughter achieve a 9-point gain in her score. Listen to his thoughts, ask gently probing questions to clarify, and be prepared to offer solutions if needed. Document the meeting including agreements reached, action plans, next steps. There is great advocacy information in the Davidson Guidebook.

Another option may be after-schooling your daughter if this subject is of great interest and she would find it to be fun to learn more about math on her own free time.

If the overall school environment becomes toxic and not conducive to learning, you may wish to consider other educational options (acceleration, change to a different classroom, change to a different school, partial homeschooling, homeschooling, etc) to support your child.

We had a similar situation where the district expects students to score 98th+ percentile on above-level achievement testing in order to qualify for gifted services, yet do not provide the learning necessary for students to achieve that level. So the kids who qualify are the ones who are getting outside support/enrichment. You are probably going to have to do some teaching on your own to get around this nonsensical policy (unless you find that the principal is of some help--it's worth a try). I had DD do Khan Academy online at home above grade level...maybe 30-60 minutes per week, and her math score went way over the 99th percentile.

We have had similar issues with DS...he is 7 in second grade, but the teacher insisted that he sit through second grade math. His above level computerized score was literally off the chart even for 10th grade (the chart i had only went to the 75th percentile). The teacher completely disregarded this saying that those tests don't measure every single second grade standard. Luckily I found an ally at the school who fought for DS and he was allowed to do Khan Academy at school rather than sit through the ridiculous second grade curriculum. So that is a potential "solution" you could suggest. It was not an ideal situation by any means (DS was left on his own to teach himself), so since then we did a school change.

ITA w/ KAI. A MAP score of 220 is actually a very good match for 4th grade level math. It means that she should fall around the 89th percentile of a typical regular class. Since these are GT kids doing a one-year acceleration in math, she may actually have far more peers at her level or above, perhaps a quarter or a third of the class.

50th percentile actually indicates insufficient acquisition of skills, particularly in a high-performing school where that same score may be a significantly lower percentile. In your DD's case, at least based on her MAP score, there is still room for improvement at the 4th grade level. Rather than acceleration, I would instead focus on solidifying and deepening her understanding/mastery of 4th grade math. It appears that her teacher did not take your request for a double-acceleration seriously. Perhaps if you approach the teacher with a request to strengthen your DD's grasp of 4th grade math, you might get a more helpful response.

Do not despair as it is entirely possible to maintain 98th percentile with just a one-year acceleration in math, although you would need to have a very strong grasp of the math that you have covered. I would also not be too worried with a stagnant winter score as due to different order of topic coverage, among other factors, the year-end score is often more telling than a mid-year score.

Ultimately, you can also spend an hour a week with your DD to strengthen her math skills. At this stage, you are still dealing with elementary math so unless you are math-phobic, you may be able to help her just as well as the teacher.

If you were going to after-school, I would put the MAP score aside and assess topic by topic to see where you're really at. There are various free assessments floating around online but what worked well for us was to simply purchase a textbook and work through it in a modified manner. We went with Singapore Math based on a recommendation and I think especially for checking coverage it works well given its lack of filler. Then you just walk through the chapters/problems and stop if there seems to be a gap i.e. "I don't know how to do this." or do a enough problems to satisfy yourself per section and just skip forward if they look good.

Ok, but her winter score of 221 drops her to 82%. Doesn't this mean she's not receiving the right material in class and is going the wrong way?

As far as 4th grade math goes, I don't know that I would quantify what they are doing as really teaching 4th grade math.

DD uses IXL and the number of topics covered in 4th grade explodes compared to the earlier grades. Her teacher so far has taught 7 topics. Most I would consider either 3rd or 4th grade:
* Rounding
* Multiplication (3 digit x 2 digit max)
* Division (3 digit divided by 1 digit)
* Area and Perimeter (of basic squares and compound rectangles)
* Measuring Angles
* Quadrilaterals
* Lastly, they are just now moving into fractions

When I look at IXL, a lot of these skills are covered in earlier grades so I feel they are not really an acceleration. For instance, the class took 1 1/2 months to cover area and perimeter. Not triangles or trapezoids, just squares and rectangles. IXL has this popping up in 2nd grade skills. Alot of time wasted. Where they are starting just now at the end of the year is where I feel DD should have started at the beginning of the year. If she had done so, I believe we would have seen growth.

What bothers me more is that these skills don't match up with NWEA's flier which shows examples of math problems by RIT band. For 221-230 DD needs to know operations of integers, consumer math (percents, interest, etc.), algebraic expressions, calculating means, etc. When I look at IXL, these are all more 5th/6th grade problems. They don't show up in 4th grade.

I saw the same when I looked at a detailed report that some awesome person in New Jersey posted from DesCartes as well and I feel they simply will not be covered in 4th grade math.

I felt like printing a copy, highlighting it and putting a big question mark because I don't feel that DD could have answered any of the questions without outside help. How is she supposed to know like and unlike integers with what's been taught? Or averages or percents?

I have done a lot of research on this and I do feel my only stumbling block at this point is a teacher who is teaching to a mostly lower level class (many of the kids can't get elapsed time and she's been working with a lot of them). I thought earlier it was more of a math class but now that DD explains what's happening, I see it is not. She is pulling a small group of students and teaching them at a higher level, DD is not included (a whole other story), everything they are doing she already knows (they are just now working with decimals at a 5th grade level). Some of the kids in the group were having trouble. They didn't even cover decimals in their "4th grade math" this year.

The teacher has said DD needs a solid grasp of 4th grade material as "it's her first year in the program". Yet everyone can see what she is teaching has tons of gaps. When we asked about why DD was not included in any enrichment groups we were told "while DD's scores are good, she did not meet the norms". We wondered who decides the norms, we just feel there is alot of bias. DD says her teacher ignores her most of the time and plays favorites.

As far as enriching at home we do the best we can but this teacher piles on the busywork at night and it is hard for DD to find time. They get a spelling list and have to create 4 copies of the words each week and make them artistic, etc. DD enjoys this and could easily spend hours making hers the most elaborate to try and impress the teacher. Same with endless worksheets. I tell DD to hurry up because I don't feel these activities have value and it's been a challenge. With only a few hours each evening, it is really not pleasant. We all have MAP test fatigue.

Also, I have trust issues with this teacher. She did not want to provide us a copy of DD's winter score. DH had to send a threatening e-mail. She has stated that math groups were not meeting (when DD said they clearly were and that's how we found out about it). For some materials, she has asked students not to show their parents. She is an OK person, but I don't know if it is pressure from the district to keep students out of the high ability track (DH says it saves them money) or what. I trust very little of what she actually says.

We have considered moving. My neighbor whose son was in DD's class last year did not return for this year. The district has alot of financial issues and each year has seen more and more cuts. Now they are talking about eliminating music and art which DD said is the only thing that keeps her going at school. DH is not convinced. He believes HS is the most important and has stated he does not want DD going to this high school. If that's the case, is it better to get out at elementary level or wait until after middle school?

As for this year, I am waiting just a bit to see where this will all end up in the next couple of months as we comb through DesCartes and work with IXL and Khan Academy. DD is quick to catch on and she is getting faster with the busywork. I have captured the "Improvement Plan" and have screenshots. As Indigo said, DH thinks they will remove it too. Perhaps even after this years MAP test results come back. If DD does fall below the cutoff, and we end up staying, we will most likely advocate based upon what Loy58 said about being underchallenged. DD's grades are good.

Your DD is lucky you are on top of it - you can make a difference for her.

I can hear everything you are saying - and we have absolutely been there. Let me clarify: both of my children have different academic "preferences"; that is, one is more of a reader and the other prefers math. It is VERY hard to afterschool in their "nonpreferred" area, and very easy (effortless, almost, as more a matter of providing the right materials) to afterschool in their areas of preference. They are young, though, so they need to be "balanced" students, IMO. Also, I encourage and NEVER force...so sometimes, close to no afterschooling goes on. So if the school program is a terrible mismatch at that point, progress in the non-preferred subject can get stalled, which means it is time to talk to the teacher or school. Also, my older DC gets a great deal of homework, primarily in her G&T classes...so there is little or no time for afterschooling. Right now, they both recently grew a ton in their "preferred" subject, but are slower-growing in their less preferred subject.

I guess we have gone at it seeing ourselves as partners with the school. I simply would like to see the school take on more of the "heavy-lifting" in terms of paying attention and providing challenge sometimes, KWIM? Some teachers have been better than others, but then again, I think MY KIDDOS are a bit of a challenge since they seem to learn quickly/easily, too...and I'm not entirely unsympathetic to the teachers. Our situation is not ideal, but we are trying to make it work.

BTW, don't let the winter scores worry you TOO much. DD had an awful winter MAP mid-year check last year...dropped in one area and grew little in another. She really WAS struggling to make progress/underchallenged in the area she dropped IMO, but she grew 20+ points in the other area by spring. She continued to steadily grow since then, because I have worked with her while working with the school.

HTH! None of this is easy, as it really causes a parent to worry...hugs to you!!!

If you choose to meet with the principal regarding his published support for meeting MAP targets, this might be important information to also bring along.

You may wish to ask what the norms are, to add to your collection of facts and information.

Some may say it is best to seek another learning environment when the current learning environment is not a good fit.

It may be time to begin printing articles from the Davidson Database such as Basic educational options for gifted children and Choosing the right school for your gifted child. Also chapter 14 of the book A Parent's Guide to Gifted Children covers Finding a Good Educational Fit. This includes a list of questions by Dr. Donald Treffinger. His list is also found on online at the website of Center for Creative Learning (CCL), as “Dear School People”.

Looking at other possible education options can spark ideas for new approaches with one's existing learning environment.

Wishing you all the best.

It sounds to me like you actually have 2 concerns: (1) whether or not your child is actually learning anything at all; (2) whether she might get kicked out of the program in the future because her scores aren't keeping up.

For #2, I would definitely be supplementing with resources at home. But not IXL. IXL is great for practicing skills you already know, but not good at teaching them. KhanAcademy has some great videos and that's where DD has probably learned the most. She also likes Dreambox.com which is more "fun". You could also simply buy a curriculum for 4th grade math and do it at home. That's what we did last year--I bought a textbook off eBay (same curriculum our public school uses) and we started the 3rd grade textbook last April and finished it in August.

For #1, I think you've gotten some suggestions above so hopefully those will help. I had no luck whatsoever battling the powers that be in our old district. And I can't take much credit for accommodations in our new district; they were simply much more helpful from day 1.

We haven't been in quite the same situation but I can see that we would have done had we not after schooled. The standard curriculum moves at the pace of a heavily sedated snail. We after schooled with SG Maths - the books are quite cheap, portable requiring no electrical outlets, follow a proven curriculum and a reasonably bright and motivated kid can work through them with minimal adult guidance.

I think that when one hits a wall, one can either beat one's head against it or one can seek an alternative route that bypasses it entirely...

Based on her fall school, the appropriate placement would have been in 4th grade math *in the fall*. The second score could mean that she isn't learning anything (because she is placed inappropriately).

However, the second score could mean a lot of other things too. One year my son took the MAP in the fall and again in the spring. We were homeschooling so I knew how much progress he had made in math, and it was a lot--I mean really a lot. But his MAP score only went up two points. And his reading score actually went *down*--and I know he made a lot of progress there as well.

One of the criticisms of the MAP is that it is not as sensitive as it claims to be.

Great advice!

The teacher has asked for a meeting with us for tomorrow morning. I'm not sure what it will accomplish as she is clearly not going to teach the appropriate subject matter. DH asked her again to honor enrichment so that DD could meet her goal. She pulled her for about 5 minutes and reviewed something DD already knows. She told DD not to tell her parents about what they had reviewed (sends up red flags to me) and when DD did and she found out she got snippy with DD.

I would prefer to just go it alone because I feel any interaction at this point may result in retaliation for DD for the rest of the semester and affect her grades. I feel as another poster said before "some teachers care and some don't". I'm concerned about meeting her and feel reluctant to go but DH is all for it.

Can anyone provide me any pointers for handling a sticky situation like this. I feel weird asking point blank why she isn't following the improvement plan when it's clear DD is not showing growth with the low level curriculum.

Well, you can always say you're busy tomorrow. :-)

I agree, any teacher who says not to tell parents ANYTHING is raising a huge red flag.

Have you discussed any of your concerns with the principal yet? I may have missed it but didn't see that in the thread.

If you have not, I would suggest either calling/meeting w/the principal to raise your concerns and to ask for support in meeting your daughter's educational needs. Perhaps the principal can join the meeting with the teacher.

There's some information on the NAGC site that may be helpful as a handout for the teacher/principal. FYI, there is one article that mentions that too much repetition has been shown in some studies to actually be harmful to highly gifted students.

We had similar issues with DS when he was in second/third grades. Our approach was to supplement his math at home and at the same time just continue to push the elementary school. It took us almost two years but ultimately we were successful.

I think oftentimes the teachers are unable to tailor programs for children that are accelerated so in our case we purchased materials for him to work on at school. Not ideal as he had to work independently but we felt it was a better choice than having him learn nothing.

Picking up this thread late. Shifrby, I hope your meeting with your DD's teacher resulted in some positive changes. I wanted to suggest an alternate option if you feel you are still getting nowhere. You can part-time homeschool your DD for math if you feel that would be a better option than dealing with the school's instruction. Check her out for math, and hire a tutor to teach her twice a week or do it yourself, and then keep her in class for other subjects.

We're going to be doing this with DS10 starting next week, using a tutor and I think the Singapore math curriculum, and are feeling good about it after five years of working unsuccessfully with the school on math. I didn't know part-time homeschooling was an option until a few weeks ago, so wanted to suggest it.

Coll, that's a great idea.

You can if it is allowed where you are. Some people also get permission to do an alternative programme at scho but I think the teacher would sabotage it in this case.

As a follow-up had the meeting with DD's teacher. She and another senior teacher were there. The senior teacher took the lead on the meeting (which I found unusual) and talked with us about DD's MAP results.

We talked about DD not really receiving any help. Her teacher refused to take ownership of it not really talking about enrichment.

Anyway, DD's teacher did nothing as a result of the meeting. She sent an e-mail stating she would keep us updated. Nothing happened. The senior teacher set up some online accounts for math problem-solving but they aren't really useful because they are not at the level we need and using one of the worst sites I've ever seen. But it wasn't even her job. Plus it's more after school and they left it at that.

Because she agreed to set up some online accounts, DH decided he likes the senior teacher and asked for her to be DD's teacher next year to which she agreed.

I am not happy at all with this school and would like to seek alternatives as this school doesn't allow for some of the options mentioned in this thread. DH believes it's important to stick with this school and see it through. He believes having a record is more important than the actual education DD will receive. He has stated that I can afterschool them which I am extremely resentful of.

It is tearing our marriage apart and causing alot of stress. There are frequent arguments and DH has taken to attacking me and telling me that I am the cause of all the problems. I should just let the "professionals" do their jobs and stop criticizing because I'm not a licensed teacher and have no experience.

I asked him what happens when the scores come in lower than the program acceptance score? Won't it look bizarre to come out of a "high ability" program with a much lower score than when you started? He doesn't care because he believes the senior teacher will be our salvation.

The MAP test starts the Monday after the kids return from Spring Break. DH has proposed I spend the entire time teaching DD and her younger sister so they can pass. Of course, he's not helping out. He's got other things to do.

Before someone asks, now that DH made it look like he's extremely pleased with the fact that the senior teacher "helped us", it's difficult to involve the principal without offending her. I feel we're in a really bad spot and it's difficult to go up the ladder because DH wants to be with this senior teacher next year. He doesn't want to get off on the wrong foot.

Bummer - just as a personal note, your dc will cope ( if not thrive ) in a poor educational fit. Fix your marriage...

Edited to say - sorry please don't be offended by my blunt advice I'm not in your family so I don't know - I just think our kids need love and stability as a basic, everything else is a bonus

I read your post shifrbv and really felt for you. It is a very stressful situation and it seems to be spiraling. I am trying to think what I would do if I were in your position. Mahagogo5 is right in that your stress and the strain on the marriage are very important to address for everyone's sake, and I am sure you know that, but what do you do.

It is very common, in my experience, that one parent can be more involved and therefore informed about a situation involving the children, be it advocating for Giftedness or disability or supporting sport or music. It just happens for so many reasons. It can be that the other parent, without the same appreciation for all the nuances in a situation looks for a quick fix not really understanding what that means. It doesn't necessarily mean they don't care as much but they just don't get everything.

Can you accept for the moment that you are the one with the greater knowledge of your DD's educational situation at this point? If so then take a deep breath and think about what you really want or need to achieve in the next couple of months.

The MAP test sounds like a key priority. If we focus on that, it already sounds like you have the beginnings of a plan. The extra work with Khan Academy and IXL will work and can't hurt. Hopefully your DD will be increasingly independent over time with working on the computer programs and maybe needs less help? If she does need lots of input from you then just set a limit on how much time you can reasonably afford to work on "after school" type activities. Remember any little bit helps so if you can do 15 mins without feeling like it's onerous. No it's not "fair" that it falls to you but it's not about fair really, it's about a need that you are able to fulfill right now and maybe DH isn't. Try not to let resentment, but I get why you feel that way, stop you from keeping your eyes on the goal which is helping DD.

To avoid further strain at home could you accept that the school is what it is for a few months? Is that going to derail anything major? If it isn't then let that lie while focussing on the MAP. It doesn't stop you quietly exploring alternative options. DH may not be ready to discuss them or consider them right now but maybe in a while depending upon what happens with the current school. Perhaps if the senior teacher doesn't prove to be the "answer" he was hoping for.

When we are in the midst of stressful and emotionally charged situation everything can be so overwhelming. I am thinking of you and hoping you can find a way to manage. If anything I have said is not helpful then please ignore.

Thankyou for saying this far more thoughtfully than I did

Its the same sentiment, Mahagogo5, I knew what you were saying. I am just hoping shifrbv can feel all our care. It can be such a lonely place. I know many of us have been there. My mantra lately has been "keep eyes on the prize" and the prize for my family is health and happiness where possible. Stress can really make it hard to find the goal let alone the way forward.

I know it is really hard when intellectually gifted students are young to watch how the school cannot meet their needs. Hopefully, you can call your GIEP team together and add what your student needs, sooner rather than later. There are so many people on staff in one school and throughout a district and even a county, that there may be someone other than that one teacher who could or even would love to work with your student. Perhaps even someone studying teaching and / or giftedness in your area might be available.

As far as the difference of opinion between spouses, the good news is you are not alone and here is my opinion of why. Very smart people like to partner with very smart people. They have very smart children. Of course you are both going to have strong opinions and those opinions might clash. Both parents care so much about the child and the child's education, combined with gifted persons' predisposition to being intense (in a good way), then you can really feel temporarily at a checkmate.

I would talk to everyone involved in the process from superintendent to teacher's aid and find the solution. You will feel better knowing you did everything you could.

Here's one point I contemplate. Society benefits when gifted people 'do their thing' in their chosen professions, but when we bring that same passion to advocacy for our child, they just don't see it necessarily in a positive light.

I can tell from the response posts that everyone feels your pain and hopes that you hang in there and know that you are not alone. It helps me to remember how great it felt to break out from the pack and be free with electives and choices. That time will come. It's just that still today the overall education perspective is to hold these kids back until they are older. You are not alone.

I love this entire post.



"The Prize" is not being in the "right" high school, having perfect transcripts, or going to Very Elite University.

SO wise.

My DD also suffered for many years with completely AWOL math instruction-- and she loves math, and she's VERY good at it. However, the consequences of having been ignored and left to fumble her own way through it (even with the mitigation that we've been able to throw at this problem) has resulted in her feeling completely out of her league among her highly groomed collegiate peers, mostly engineering students who are machines with accuracy (and a lot of whom are running at material for a second or even third time, tyvm) whereas she is, well-- she understands things from the concept OUT, and knows the mathematics far better than they even as she is learning it for the first time, but doesn't always earn the marks that they do. This is an unbelievable stressor for her because being "100% girl" is so much part of her identity.

The system as it is rewards perfect compliance with high-but-not-TOO-high expectations, and punishes truly intrinsic motivation at most turns.

Deviate from that path and you're in the rough in no time at all.



Yes-- eyes on the REAL prize. Please.

Thank you HK. I can assure you I am chanting with gusto of late!

My DD is also good at and loves maths. Her teacher is not far enough ahead of her to teach in a way that is very helpful to DD. She needs someone who can answer ALL the questions and the teacher is often struggling. We are so very very fortunate to have found a math tutor who is able to answer the questions, totally gets DD and is able to keep her engaged and interested. He is also a whiz at better techniques and shortcuts that help DD as she is slow in exams. She goes to tutoring because it is fun not because she needs remediation (I guess that makes me a real nerd she said). I don't care about perfect results and neither does DD but it is harder to learn if you are feeling as though you are running to keep up with the pack. Takes some of the fun out of the process.

Is there anyone around like that tutor for your DD? Maybe someone who can get her ahead of the curve and remove the stress and let her get back to learning for fun, not necessarily to improve her grades.....just so she can feel its enjoyable.

We just spent an entire parent teacher night explaining to teachers that as much as our DD is good in school and doing well we all need to work to ensure she enjoys school. At the moment her physical issues have been significant and she is tired, not a function of her grade skip which is great, but a function of a growth spurt on top of a connective tissue disorder causing all her joints to be subluxing and dislocating. We are putting bedtime above study time right now. I was gratified that most of her teachers understood that. One was horrified that he had given her extra extension homework but I was at pains to point out that enjoyed the extension material (and unbeknownst to any of us, had already done it) but it will be prioritised behind a good night's sleep. I don't want her to be coddled, just understood.

The prize for all of us is a life we can enjoy.....I will keep chanting.

Yes, our DD has forged a really great working bond with a friend she met in her math classes this year, and also with a tutor that she has really connected with. He is a super math-buddy!

Thankfully, after having paid attention to y'all here for so many years (BIG shout-out here to Colinsmum!!) we knew to look for someone who was comfortable with the conceptual and theoretical underpinnings of everything through 400 level undergraduate math coursework, because of the kinds of questions that DD tends to ask in her quest for understanding. It's been lovely, and DD wants to keep working with him even after the term ends.

She's really rediscovered her love of math.

I was surprised because usually she doesn't like to write much either (suspect that our DD's have a lot in common there, ndw) but she is passionate about working math with others. It just 'clicks' now that she's breached that barrier of not feeling confident in her ability to master something that she hadn't encountered before.



Yup-- eyes on the (real) prize.

It's great your DD has someone to "play with" in math. DD really enjoys learning math with others too. One of the reasons she likes her tutor is that they have fun conversations about math. He is a double PhD so he definitely has the deep understanding kids like ours need. They won't follow someone who they aren't completely certain knows the path in the darkness way better than them!

Don't you love it when they finally get that mastering the unknown can be fun not daunting. That's definitely a prize above any grade.

I am wondering how shifrbv is getting on. Sorry if we hijacked the post a little but we hope you are hanging in there.