Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Identification, Testing & Assessment testing and sibling rivalry

I would test, but not reveal the scores. I'm a firm believer that the specific numbers do not need to be known, regardless of whether you are talking about the WISC or bar exam.

Add me to the list of younger siblings assumed to have lower scores... After testing was done, mine were actually much much higher. She might surprise you.

Yeah well that is just sick.

Sadly, I have seen a great many sick families. It's one of the reasons I enjoy spending time on forums like this--to remind myself of the healthy families.

I agree with handling the testing with tact and also reinforce the idea that though siblings are different, they may or may not have similar IQs (though different profiles). It is entirely likely that one GT kid will have GT siblings.

My brother (older) & I were both tested for school programming. We were not told our scores because at 8 & 10-- honestly the ability to wrap your mind around scores, confidence intervals, achievement vs ability, LDs, and such requires more emotional maturity than most kids that age have. Plus, the dynamic to 'compare' scores is strong at that age, easy enough to remove that temptation. We just both knew we got in to the program and the cut score was X.

That said in High School, my scores were shared with me (not my brothers and honestly we still have not compared...though I was told were are within 5 points of each other, with confidence interval taken into consideration then we have very similar final scores.). due to some LD issues and further evaluation of writing and processing. At that age, it really helped me grasp how my mind worked and helped explain the frustrations I was having.

I will say that my brother appeared classically GT to the max. Me, I was more the dreamy thinker and I always struggled with writing & speed. This was confirmed with testing that those are areas that are vastly different than my IQ- huge discrepancies.

I would do the testing and also be aware that the final # may vary a bit due to different IQ tests, confidence intervals, and such. I also would try to find a way to not share the scores as a flat #- end all be all. Scores are so much more than than---and can really be helpful to look at subscores, processing speed, and comparison to achievement testing.

Thank you all for your responses. As I expected, you helped me resolve to test her -- you're all right, she may surprise everyone!

As for the sibling issue, you're also right. In an ideal world, I wouldn't share the numbers with either of them. And *I* would never share one child's scores with the other. Unfortunately, I have shared DS's scores with him; I did not tell him after we found out, however he finally *asked* me (nearly a year later! I hadn't purposely not shared them, I just ... didn't) and I felt no need to keep them from him. We did talk about the fact that all that it meant was we had affirmation of his areas of relative strength and weakness, etc.; as well as the fact that those numbers mean very little if you don't make effort and all that. I will just have to have a separate conversation with him about being mature and NOT sharing his scores with her. He knows not to talk about it with anyone else, so he'll likely understand... He truly has no frame of reference for what those actual numbers mean or anything else, so likely he won't remember what they are, just that his strength is in the verbal area, and that it was quite high.

The difficulty will arise when *she* finds out I have her results; if she decides she wants to know it will be very hard to keep them from her. If I don't tell her her scores, she'll be mad. If I hide them, she'll find them, if she really decides she wants to know (she is highly persistent.. it'll serve her well someday! .. unfortunately she's also the ultimate sneak, be it treats or whatever else she wants). Likewise, if she decides she wants to 'compare' she'll hassle DS until he gives up *something* (as I said, it won't be a number, b/c he won't remember them). As several folks alluded to, she's got some other issues going on (we are aware, and hence the desire to be extra sensitive to all this!). All that said, I"m not sure how comfortable I am telling her that I won't tell her, either, if she asks point blank. You all think I shouldn't?

I suppose I can overthink all of this until the cows come home -- its not going to make any difference how many bad scenarios I envision. :-) Thank you ALL on the advice to go for it anyway (you're right, if its not this to be competitive/jealous about, it'll be something else).

Oh, and just fyi, we are pursuing therapy for her. Both kids actually. Different reasons. DS more just to help him with strategies for dealing with relative weaknesses (if anyone wants to chime in on issues arising with a significantly lower processing speed -- DS's is over 60 points lower than his verbal, which is his highest score), asynchronous development and feelings of loneliness (he's noticing that other kids don't always understand what he's talking about - part of that is truly his level of comprehension is higher, but some of it is his tendency toward stream-of-consciousness speaking, and starting a story halfway through! LOL). For DD its figuring out how to get her to accept help with her extremely strong feelings and find strategies that she'll accept for managing them. I've tried (but deep breaths are "for babies" as are workbooks on anger management and negative thinking; meditation is "dumb"). She's highly volatile - has been all her life, and a very, very negative thinker. Definitely a strong willed, persistent kiddo. In her better moments I can talk with her about how so many of her personality traits will serve her well in life (and I do, I really do!) and even joke with her about 'using her powers for good'. I want to help her before any even more negative patterns set in, and before puberty rears its ugly head. :-) If anyone knows of a good therapist in the Boston area (especially someone with experience with gifted kids) - let me know! Message me or respond here.

Oh, wow. I have one of these kiddos...and we've been joking about her "using her powers for good" for years. Sure we aren't raising the same child???

I have a very strong-willed, persistent child too, but it's been pretty easy to keep her scores a secret from her. If you were very worried, you could put them on your computer and password-protect them. We have a lot of sibling rivalry here, and one child did score higher than the other. For that reason, I plan to never disclose. My parents never disclosed their children's scores even though we were all tested. Unfortunately, two of us tested into the gifted program and one did not. I am not kidding when I say that this still comes up today. I would be very careful.

How about just not telling her she's having an IQ test? We didn't use that terminology when we tested either of our boys. Instead we told them they were going to be given tests to show how they learn best, so that we and their teachers could help them the most.

I would agree with presenting it as a test to see how she learns best, which is how I generally present it to my examinees. But I also acknowledge that it is, indeed, what is known as an IQ test, if they ask, which the brighter ones often do--but so much more than a singular measure. I also talk about individual variation, and the assessment's primary value as data that helps one to understand oneself, so as to maximize the opportunity to fit one's setting to one's strengths.

If you are misplaced in life, you will not reach your full potential, even if you have a very high IQ.

I think if you are wondering just do the test, kids seem to enjoy it and it will stop you having sleepless nights.

re comparisons - no harm in telling kids they scored the same IMO, or saying they were tested on diff tests therefore the results are not comparable.