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    Over the next 2 weeks we need to make a decision about a middle school for DD10 and DD9. Both will be in 6th grade (as per other post, DD9 just accelerated into 5th). The girls and I have toured many schools, magnet and charter. DH and I had initially thought a small charter would be the best for DD9, but now we are wondering if we just place both girls in the same school. Here are the main contenders:
    Large GT magnet (merely means all kids have gifts)- 1,000 kids, "whole child" oriented, many many electives, 1 girl in school who has been grade accelerated, math kids grouped with like learners, easy to move kids to correct level (this all from AIG specialist),use "Thinking MAPS" a graphic organizer method, no AIG classes in science, a few kids SSA in language arts. I was impressed by the fact that the AIG specialist set up an appt. with me to talk. I was worried when she said that that except for math, kids of all levels will be in the same classroom. She explained the "whole child" thinking is that life always has people of different levels working together so the school works that way as well. School is considered very safe, little bullying, 60% of kids AIG.
    AIG Magnet middle school - 1000 kids, very diverse (good for us as a transracial family), "school within a school"= AIG kids take classes together (if child AIG identified math he/she will have AIG math and science, AIG language arts kids have AIG LA and social studies together), many many electives, asst. principal states several kids grade accelerated, some kids go to local high school for math (other school said this is not allowed so they don't understand how this school claimed to be doing this, BTW).My worries are that it has more kids with behavioral issues than the other middle school, and when I contacted them for more info listing specific questions about a child like mine, they gave the standard lines of how they are "a fantastic school, many AIG kids, we would love it" and did not answer my questions. Am I going to get the best care for my girls here? A side note, while DD9 is AIG LA and math, DD10 is only AIG math. I have been told that the kids who aren't AIG both subjects feel a sense of "less then" about not being in AIG classes. One mom who went there years ago still can remember wanting to be in all AIG classes. The student AIG tour guides spoke of "the other kids" when speaking of non-AIG students. Ugh. I don't want DD10 to feel bad.

    We toured other schools with the idea that a small one would be good for DD9. Safer for a child who will be a year younger than all the rest of the students: a small quirky charter which is supposedly very supportive of it's kids, but whose principal gets mad when people ask about AIG services. She feels her school is very challenging. School does have excellent test scores. Not diverse at all. A "STEAM" school (STEM with arts) whose principal stated that their mandate is to help bright kids, but not cater to gifted per se. One mom I know whose very gifted kid goes there has been happy with the school. A "Math and Science" charter which has is award winning, but without a lot of the electives other schools have. DD is very artsy, claims to hate math (although she is good at it). If we picked any of these for DD9, we would put DD10 in the GT magnet listed above.

    Oh, this is absolutely a hard decision. While DD9 absolutely needed to be accelerated, I am becoming so aware of how young she still is. She does get along well with older kids, yet holds my hand all the time while out and about. She gravitates towards bigger kids at school yet jumps in my arms when visiting relatives. Young and old at the same time!! I want her to be safe at school, and I want my DD10 to be happy, too.
    My girls' opinions? They liked both magnet middle schools, especially the GT one though they couldn't describe why. They did not like the charter schools.




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    Two thoughts:
    1) Have you read the school selection articles on the Davidson Database?
    2) After following the tips in school selection articles, if the parents like the schools equally, I would let the girls' decision be the tie-breaker. They are ultimately the ones who will be steeped in the school culture.

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    It sounds like the main contenders are the GT magnets. And from your description, they each have positives and negatives that vary slightly by DD.

    I agree with indigo to consider what your DDs prefer... especially their dislikes. Sometimes kids can be ambivalent about change entirely, but because they've expressed both positive and negative reactions I don't think that's an issue here.

    Their inability to articulate their preference doesn't mean it's illogical. They have deep experience about their own educational needs and can potentially make Blink-like decisions about what will work best, but without the life experience and emotional maturity to tell you why. You however have equally deep experience about your girls emotional needs and should also consider what your instincts are telling you.

    And I so sympathize with how hard this kind of decision making is. And we only ever had to do it with one child! Best of luck and know that whatever ends up happening your obvious caring and good intentions really do count.

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    I would never send kids this age to a school they have voiced their dislike of. It just sets them up for stress and disappointment. could it be that they're wrong? Absolutely! But since none of you have a crystal ball and you feel that the school they'd both choose is acceptable for both, it's a no brainer, isn't it?

    And kids feeling "less than" because they are not in AIG classes...that is a risk we run if we are honest about some kids having a particular talent in a particular subject. The alternative is, as always, lockstep education pretending "everyone is the same", and we all know how well THAT works for gifted kids.

    Your kids have already shown themselves remarkably resilient to the idea that one kid might feel "less than" her sister because one was grade skipped and the other wasn't. They will be resilient to that as well. Trust them!

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    Just a note, AIG most likely means Academically and Intellectually Gifted, it looks like it's a designation in NC. I knew it couldn't be answers in genesis, but I was stumped.

    I would vote large GT magnet. The snobbishness about being all AIG is a huge red flag for me. That is not healthy. I'm also wary of any school who thinks they have all the answers. No one has all the answers, and a school which can admit things can be messy or challenging is more likely to admit the same when dealing with your kids.

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    And kids feeling "less than" because they are not in AIG classes...that is a risk we run if we are honest about some kids having a particular talent in a particular subject.

    However, it is possible to have a school culture where it's accepted that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses and that's just normal. I think this is a very healthy way to approach life - everyone has something to teach you, and you'll never be best at everything.

    Last edited by Tallulah; 01/28/15 08:02 AM.
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    From what you wrote, I also would try the large GT magnet. Seems to have the most positive attributes, openness and fewer cons.

    As for the smaller school, I would think that a principal who gets angry when asked about gifted services and claims her school is challenging enough is a problem waiting to happen. A wise principal would explain why they don't have specific services then give examples of how the challenges are managed for different levels of learning ability.

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    What sort of environment have your kids been in so far? My DS11 was in an accelerated program for HG kids in elementary, and he is currently in a very flexible STEAM charter that has no GT program. The contrast at first was pretty extreme, but the teachers and director have been really helpful in getting DS placed correctly, and there are a lot of project-based activities so that he can work at his level.

    We had toured an accelerated program that was similar to DS's elementary, but DS wanted a change and also liked the idea of the STEAM focus. We toured a few other middle schools as well. It seemed to me that there were pros and cons for all, but any one of them would be OK, so we let DS choose. So far, so good, though there are still things that could be improved. Since it's just middle school, I thought we could experiment.

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    First, AIG is AG in our state - sorry!
    It will be a hard choice IF DD10, AIG math, also gets an AIG designation this week in language arts (we are waiting to find out). If she does not, she, I feel, would be better off in the large GT magnet. DD10 really wants AIG language arts and the AIG specialist is advocating for her.
    I spoke to the asst. principal at the AIG "school within a school" magnet yesterday. She was very warm and comforting. She states that the sixth grade teachers are very protective of their students plus, if DD9 wanted to be with her big sister in some classes, they could make that happen (ha! so far they just bicker if they are in the same class). I asked if I could talk with parents whose kids had skipped grades, and the principal said it was one child, a few years ago, who skipped a grade. Guess it's rare that this year several kids were accelerated! I sent out an email to another mom whose children attend this AIG magnet to see what she says. I hope that she can talk more about that disconnect between AIG and "regular" (as the other kids are called.
    I am aware of the issue of everyone wanting their kids to be in the "gifted classes", and the idea that kids need to learn that everyone has strengths and weaknesses. I have to consider if my older DD will be happy knowing that she isn't in the AIG language arts class despite how well she has handled her little sister coming into her class.
    ConnectingDots, definitely we have ruled out the small charter with the ornery principal. I can't figure out how the school has a reputation for being warm and fuzzy when the leader is so cranky! Every mom I have spoken to who toured the school came away rather taken aback at how prickly the principal was!
    Indigo - I'll check out those articles!!

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    Originally Posted by st pauli girl
    What sort of environment have your kids been in so far? My DS11 was in an accelerated program for HG kids in elementary, and he is currently in a very flexible STEAM charter that has no GT program. The contrast at first was pretty extreme, but the teachers and director have been really helpful in getting DS placed correctly, and there are a lot of project-based activities so that he can work at his level.

    We had toured an accelerated program that was similar to DS's elementary, but DS wanted a change and also liked the idea of the STEAM focus. We toured a few other middle schools as well. It seemed to me that there were pros and cons for all, but any one of them would be OK, so we let DS choose. So far, so good, though there are still things that could be improved. Since it's just middle school, I thought we could experiment.

    The girls are in a magnet school with an "international" focus. It offers lots of electives and all kids are required to take a foreign language. There is an AIG program, but it only offers pull outs once per week per subject. There is SSA for either math or language arts (can't do both for some strange reason).

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    Agree that the cranky principal sounds very odd and off putting and I think you're right to strike that one off your list.
    I did not mean to say that it's right for kids to feel "less than" because they are not in AIG classes, and it does warrant a harder look at the school culture, great if you can speak to experienced parents. However, if you ask me, it is probably parents themselves perpetuating that kind of thing, and a healthy family culture of valuing various achievements and at the same time offering unconditional love will go a long way to counteract that....plus, it's a big school. Hard to create a uniform school culture across grades and classes.
    Anyway, I did suggest following your children's lead and that would be the GT
    Magnet anyway. You wrote good things. About their school culture - very safe, little bullying etc.
    I confess I would be a bit worried about language arts and the "needing to work with people at all levels" statement. Nope, from a certain point onwards, you will work with people mostly at your level...other people will work for you.

    Last edited by Tigerle; 01/28/15 01:07 PM.

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