Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy "I don't like school."

My question would be why does he feel that others should 'fix' all his problems and why does he equate that with not feeling heard? I know he is still a kid but your son is old enough to take ownership of his dislike of school and to learn that mom & dad can't fix everything.

I'd make a distinction on a case-by-case basis between things that need to be put up with, and things that should be changed.

A child in public school is entitled to an "appropriate" education. Now, the tricky thing is getting to agreement on "appropriate"-- but if the child is not being educated reasonably close to his level, that IS a concern, and IMO should be addressed by the adults, in consultation with the child.

If the child is unhappy because he doesn't feel like doing school and would rather play video games, well, that's a "suck it up" situation. Very different story.

While gifted kids often thrive in a mixed-age classroom, this tends to be especially true when they are at the young end of the age ranges. Being at the older end of the age ranges may provide no intellectual peers... this may rectify itself next year when he is the younger end of the 4th-8th grade group.

Perhaps instead you should work with him on his mental perspective towards school rather than looking deeper for something else 'wrong'. I am sure the material or assignments are not perfect and parts of it are boring. That is life. I tell my kids that school isn't necessarily fun. No one is going to make all aspects of school thrilling and exciting all of the time. It's your job as a kid to go to school and learn. And that when you get to be an adult most jobs include tasks that individuals don't enjoy and find boring.

My question would be why does he feel that others should 'fix' all his problems and why does he equate that with not feeling heard? I know he is still a kid but your son is old enough to take ownership of his dislike of school and to learn that mom & dad can't fix everything. Particularly when it comes to feelings. Sometimes in a situation all we as parents can do is listen, and acknowledge a child's feelings.

I'm really having a hard time explaining what I mean. But basically I don't expect it's my job to make sure my children are always happy. My son only tolerated school in junior high. People would ask if he liked school and my stock answer was that he enjoyed "math & band" and honestly if he hadn't liked those two subjects I don't know if I could have gotten him to school.