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    You didn't ask for advice on this aspect so I apologize for throwing this out, but I can't help but notice all those difficulties can be symptoms of a sleep problem, or made worse by low quality sleep. Whether or not there are sleep red flags like snoring, an overnight sleep study can give a lot of great info about the quality of sleep.

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    Cola Offline OP
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    OK so we kind of talked to him using the analogy of a car engine as his brain. We stated that there are parts of his brain that are so good at what it does it draws some of the energy from other parts of his brain like the part for memorizing or focusing or writing. So we are going to make his brain/engine stronger in those parts while keeping the strong part just as strong. He said "so like tune ups or rebuilding some of the parts to make the engine as a whole work really well? And we said yes. He seemed to understand that so I'm hoping it was the right way to explain it to him.

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    Cola Offline OP
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    Polly he sleeps well but does have large tonsils so that's a great idea thank you

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    Cola, I'm a fellow 2e mom and it's a wild ride. I enjoyed the books Academic Advocacy for Gifted Children: A Parent's Guide by Gillman and also A Nation Deceived (free download online). We ended up pulling our 6.5 year old to homeschool as there is no gifted programming in our state but before we did I found both books extremely helpful. Best wishes to you!

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    Great analogy, Cola! I hope that first discussion went well; it sounds like you had a good conversation with your DS.

    I realized by light of day I didn't even mention the gifted part, oops. As you did, I found it important to discuss DD's strengths, both as an important part of her, but also to acknowledge that she has a significant extra frustration in the classroom, from being able to understand and learn much faster than most, orally - yet not be able to keep up when reading and writing is involved. Her Ferrari has hay cart wheels, perhaps.

    I think this aspect of the 2E combo has been the biggest source of anxiety for my kids: the work is both too easy to engage them and yet too hard for them to actually do. All at the same time. This is REALLY hard for some teachers to get. I've had a do a lot of fighting about "make-work": if the act of writing is that hard, it is unacceptable to require more of it than is actually needed to demonstrate mastery of the material. No gifty is going to like repetitive worksheets, but for some of these 2E kids, it's important to recognize that you're not simply trying to protect your "special snowflake" from boredom - you're actually trying to reduce an activity that can cause significant mental anguish. Needlessly.

    Ah, my soapbox is still in full force this weekend, I see. Just trying to say, you really can't understand the impact of one E without looking at how they affect each other. Key concept for your DS - and even more so for his teachers! It sounds like you are off to a great start. Hugs and strength your way.

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    Originally Posted by Cola
    Ds 9 in gifted 4th grade self contained class diagnosed highly gifted, ADHD inattentive, dysgraphia, and rote memorization disability. How difficult is this going to be in the public school system?

    Depends.

    There is so much the school can do to make an appropriate environment for your child. If they will do it, it won't be that hard. If they won't, it will be very hard. This may vary on a teacher-by-teacher basis, and teacher fit will be make-or-break, especially in the elementary and early middle years. Some things:

    --Over time, teach your DS to let you and his teacher know when something is a struggle for him. Our DS had a rotten year, and we taught him that school at that time was like a poorly fitting shoe that hurts, and we were trying to make changes to make it better for him. He knew we were on his team, and he understands that it's not his fault. Very important that he know that it's not his fault if things are hard because of his disability.

    --Be a positive communicator. Be ready to offer school information about what is hard for your child, and be ready with suggestions about how tasks could be made to fit him better. Always compliment them when they make special efforts on your child's behalf, and send those compliments right up the food chain to principal/superintendent/etc.

    --Know that new challenges will pop up, and be prepared to problem-solve. Teach your child that problems can be solved, and that he can often find solutions in collaboration with his teachers.

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    Cola Offline OP
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    Thank you everyone. So far the school hasn't been very helpful and we are a 2 income family so can't home school. Found a fantastic private school that works with the child's strengths but its $1690 a month for both kids so we are now trying to figure out if its even possible. It came recommended by the specialist but given the cost they are going to make a list of schools that may help but these schools are an hour away whereas this private school is literally 10 minutes away. Any preferences for 2E kids?

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    Personally, I wouldn't let my kids spend 2 hours a day commuting.

    We have chosen to stay in public schools-- private schools have NO legal obligations regarding giftedness or disabilities, and it would have been impossible. In public school, your child is entitled to a Free, Appropriate Public Education (FAPE)-- which means that you should be able to work toward a reasonable solution. I am well aware that this can be difficult-- the tales one could tell-- but for us, staying and working through the issues has been the best of the options for our 2Es.


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    Cola Offline OP
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    If we went with the other school district far away...which we truly won't...we would move there.However, my kids already go to a public school in a ddifferent district and my mom drives them and picks them up. She absolutely loves having the kids and these are their only grand kids so needless to say my kids are spoiled and love their grandparents. I would never take that away from either party. Our current issue is that his current class is large with 25 kids mixed of 4th and 3rd grade. This private school has a 1:5 ratio. Bit the cost is absolutely high for our Arizona area. Man this is tough and stressful!

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