Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional How much time in the office

My 5 yr old Senior Kindergardener was assessed as both gifted and autistic.

He has been doing well in school, but it's been a bit weird in terms of accommodations. Not bad, just weird. He is an exceptionally good fit with his main K teacher. All the other staff who deal with him are describing him as "defiant" or "annoying" and often seem or are described as being frustrated or annoyed.

How many office visits per week is too many? At what point do we make an effort to get better accommodations? I'm a little concerned because once he's in the office, he gets LESS accommodations, and there are a lot of distractions from people trying to chat him up, etc.

Do you have something in writing regarding the accommodations? If not, you may wish to formalize the accommodations and wrightslaw may be a good place to start. The book From Emotions to Advocacy may be of help.

We aren't in the states, and the advocacy piece is complex right now. We have an IEP without IPRC in the works. Don't ask. We are not interested in forcing things with the school, the team is extremely good. I'm trying to be rigorously realistic here!

I would think even one office visit per week is too many - do you have any advocates locally in your country who can help you navigate the best way to deal with issues like this? It sounds like something is definitely not working well with some of his teachers.

Hope you're able to get things straightened out soon -

polarbear

Just want to reply to lend you some support. We also had a bad K year, with many office visits. About mid-year, I realized my goal had to be a better teacher fit for the next year. I became a sweet as pie, smiling, completely constructive, relentless pain the rear for the principal. I was probably in her office as much as DS was! End result - we got a great teacher assignment this year, and while DS7 is still having troubles, they are different in quality and quantity. And his office visits have stopped.

I will say one thing - DS took a lot of emotional support through that terrible year. He knew he was getting a "bad kid" label, and it hurt him so much.

Hugs,
Sue

If "office visit" means "sent to the office as a disciplinary measure," then I would agree. But my DD, for example, is always allowed to go to the office instead of to the noisy area where the children line up before school, and she joins her class as they go by the office on the way to the classroom. She is also allowed to go to the office instead if assemblies are intolerably noisy. So she has multiple office visits per day, but they are part of her accommodations, and I'm fine with that.

Sorry to hear that your DS is having a difficult time. As he is only 5, I am really offended by the staff referring to him as "annoying" although I can appreciate "defiant" if his behavior fits. I would start by discussing with your DS how he feels about these office visits. Make sure that they are "negative" on balance before approaching the school for better accommodations.

DD (now 8, in 3rd) is gifted with a high functioning autism diagnosis. I would say if it's office visits for discipline, even talking about weekly rates means there are too many. If the visits are for something else, but aren't productive, then they should be changed in some way to make them productive.

Based on our experience I'd say ongoing disciplinary office visits in general should not be normal. When this was happened to DD, it was mostly because the staff were all a terrible fit. Sure, they liked DD, they were nice enough people, on the surface they talked the talk and had lots of experience... but they didn't really get her, and they didn't really try hard enough to get her. They just kept blindly adding more and more and more crap to the IEP without adjusting for the fact that she was also gifted and bored out of her mind.

Ok, I think I've got the temperature here.

Good to know.

(The visits are disciplinary, punitive, and generally Not Good (tm))

They rarely happen with the main teacher, but I sometimes get the feeling she is being pressured by others to send him.

I'm going to pursue a note in the IEP that intervention is required to prevent situations where his stimming reaches a level that makes removal from the classroom necessary, and that, when required, a suitable quiet space with intellectual and social stimulation be provided to help him regain control.

(He's not defiant, he's tuning out and stimming while being spoken to. They see the stimming as "playing" -- partly because he does not appear as autistic as he is because he's, you know, s-m-r-t.)

I'm so sorry to hear this Michaela.


Since they rarely happen with the main teacher, there's something that's happening in her classroom that's *working* - can you pinpoint what the differences are? Then take that and try to come up with ideas re what can be done in the other classrooms?


I'd also remind the school in your written communications that when your ds is taken out of the classroom to visit the office, he is missing out on classroom instruction that he should be receiving as his FAPE. He also shouldn't be being disciplined for his disability - he should be receiving *appropriate* accommodations.

Sending lots of good wishes your way -

polarbear

Neither of my kids has ever been sent to the office though they both had one fairly major incident during their settling phase (in one case he misinterpreted the rules of the game because he thinks differently and forvthe younger he reacted violently to being teased) which were dealt with by the teacher. If I were the principal I would consider it a failure on the teacher's part to constantly send a kid to the office.

More than once a month would concern me, once a week would be a major concern.