Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy is a "gut feeling" good enough?

Do you trust your gut as a parent or do you go with what "the specialists" say? Thoughts? Experiences?

Depends on who you mean by "the specialists."

DW and I have certainly consumed a TON of expert, scientifically-guided literature on the nature of children like our DD. It's been very helpful for understanding, and also for getting in front of particular issues, by being able to recognize them early. So in that sense, yes, we trust the specialists.

We're also open to listening to qualified individuals who have met and evaluated our DD, with the caveat that they're only seeing a small glimpse of her, so we're interested in anything they say which rings true with our experience with her, and challenge anything they say which we find contradictory.

When "the specialists," are the staff of DD's school, that's where our credentials trump theirs. Their bachelor's and master's degrees in education fields are outranked by our doctorates in DD-ology.

ETA: To answer the question of the thread title, though, we never consider "gut feeling" alone to be enough. It's usually a good indicator that we've noticed something wrong subconsciously, and we need to start exploring it. Eventually, we need to be able to translate that feeling into genuine concerns.

"doctorates in DD-ology." This makes me happy.

That is not an "either or" question.

We weigh all information, whether we like it or not. We consider the source (and how well-informed they are in general, and how much they know our child in particular). We consider the evidence presented, and how much we believe that evidence to be well-founded.

In the end, we take all this information and use it to inform our gut.

I agree completely with Dude.

Gut feelings are interesting. As Dude said they are a sign that you have noticed something of concern and you need to be able to clarify what that is. Once you know what has triggered the concern you can research what it means for you and your situation.

There is so much that is individual to each gifted child, which is why the parents end up the experts after collating relevant general advice and information and teasing out what fits their particular DC.

Do not doubt your knowledge and expertise where your child is concerned but do recognise when others have expertise that you can use.

ITA with DeeDee. I'll also add that the question you're asking is very situational - i.e., what is it you're weighing, and what step are you at? Do you have professional opinions that don't jive, or are you swimming out in the deep end and trying to get back to the shore with only your parental gut instinct.

I do very much trust my gut, but I've also been in a place where my gut was *VERY* wrong. When my 2e ds was in early elementary he was having a ton of challenges which I had a strong gut feeling about, his teacher also had a strong gut feeling about, and our feelings were in total polar opposite directions. I acted on my gut feeling (based on a bit of reading and research) *without* having a professional veal, and that led to a lot of lost time and regret on my part. The things I could make sound judgments on were correct, but there was a world of information out there that I knew nothing about, and if I'd stuck with just following my gut I wouldn't have had a clue what was really going on with my ds.

I hope that makes sense cola - my gut feeling (if you want to trust *my* gut lol!) from the posts you've made recently is that you need more info and a *broad* look at your ds' functioning to understand what's up. That first broad look via a neuropsych eval was the single best thing we've done in terms of understanding what was going on with our 2e ds.

Best wishes,

polarbear

My gut feeling is that it isn't ADHD, or at least it isn't only ADHD, but something deeper. Sometimes I get the feeling he's "acting dumb" and wants to so badly fit in with kids he acts up on purpose so they think he's funny...if that makes sense. I'm 32...he's my oldest and sometimes I feel as though his teachers feel like they have to coach me on how to parent. My mom thinks he's the doppleganger of my brother who began medication for him at age 8 and swears it worked to make him a better student. I think in a way she's afraid of thinking she medicated him when he didn't really need it so if my son is medicated for the same thing it in a way rationalizes her choice. Maybe I'm just rambling and stretching for something else but I just feel in my gut that ds is smarter and not just book smart but the kind where he could actually do something big if given the chance and nobody wants to give him that chance. I probably make no sense lol its just something continuously nagging at me in the pit of my stomach and no matter how rational "their" explanation I just don't get it.

What is ASD if you don't mind me asking? We just had a long talk with ds. He thinks he's the slowest and stupidest in his class so we tried to explain he is the youngest in the class and should be in third grade but is in fourth. I guess the girls say he's annoying and the boys laugh at his goofiness so he's doing it in purpose to gain friends.

ASD is shorthand for Autism Spectrum Disorder

Thank you kindly for the explanation!