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    #206339 - 11/24/14 10:19 AM Re: Suspected gifted 4 year old...what do I do? [Re: kdoelit]
    kdoelit Offline
    Junior Member

    Registered: 11/19/14
    Posts: 32
    I like the indoor activities ideas. I have been making obstacle courses for him in the garage to do, crawl under these folding chairs as a tunnel...hopscotch, jumping over hurdles, balance board etc. Being a PT I am lucky in that respect since I do that stuff for work. And he LOVES this. I run him through the obstacles and he always is thinking of new ones to invent. This is a positive thing for sure. I plan on getting some rubberized or mat type flooring to make it more cushioned for falls. If there was a small trampoline with a net that would be helpful...A sensory swing would be cool too, but that might be tough to set up.
    He figured out how to do a headstand against the wall with some help the other day, and loved it. He said he wants to do gymanstics, so I am going to try to sign him up for a class that will work in our schedule. He can already swim independently...we did ISR rescue swim classes since he was an infant actually and he is now confident and starting to love the water since he doesn't need any flotation devices. This was a great outlet in the summer...he swam every day with us in our pool complex. He keeps asking if he can swim somewhere. I need to find somewhere indoors.
    He also can ride a 2 wheeled bike now without training wheels. He just figured this out a couple of weeks ago. He had a balance bike before this so it was an easy transition. We used to take him around all over town with his balance bike and he listens very well to directions while on his bike, because it keeps his body active. He has always been cautious of safety rules, stopping to look both ways, staying close to us etc. On a bike he is a different kid. I need to get a bike of my own and put the baby in the bike trailer and go riding with him on some trails. He would love this...

    My husband actually is quite involved with his daily care, he helps me get him to bed every night when he is in town while I get baby girl to bed...he also takes him running errands sometimes also and tries to do things with him. He needs to take him fishing sometime, my son expresses interest in this. DS is often more well behaved for my husband but can have his moments with him also. My husband is definitely aware of the problems, I just think he sees it as a weakness on our part in some way with him being our firstborn. I keep reassuring him we are doing all we can. He is intrigued about the possibility of him being gifted and wants to find out more about how we can stimulate him and challenge him properly. The good thing is my husband has learned to trust my motherly intuition over the years and he trusts me to know what is going on. I just don't think he will fully be convinced until there is a diagnosis.

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    #206342 - 11/24/14 11:07 AM Re: Suspected gifted 4 year old...what do I do? [Re: kdoelit]
    indigo Offline
    Member

    Registered: 04/27/13
    Posts: 4957
    This is fabulous, now we can begin to see the strong positive traits and qualities which you are familiar with in your DS.

    Originally Posted By: kdoelit
    rubberized or mat type flooring to make it more cushioned for falls
    There are square-foot foam pieces which interlock like a jigsaw puzzle, making a mat which is lightweight and easy to move or reconfigure.

    Quote:
    I need to get a bike of my own and put the baby in the bike trailer and go riding with him on some trails... He needs to take him fishing sometime, my son expresses interest in this.
    You may wish to make a family wish-list and refer to this often, both as planning/goals to look forward to, and as potential reward activities.

    Quote:
    trust my motherly intuition
    Yes! I think you may have found your answer, at least I believe that mentioning your son's athleticism and skill in swimming, bike riding, headstands, helping invent obstacle courses, his interest in gymnastics, fishing, etc need to be prominently mentioned in any meetings or intake forms with doctors, IQ testers, professionals. It seems he needs to be mentally occupied and also physically occupied. LOL, if he acts up, rather than a time-out it may be time for a jumping-jacks break... He can count them and tell you how many he needed as his Rx at the moment.

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    #206344 - 11/24/14 11:20 AM Re: Suspected gifted 4 year old...what do I do? [Re: kdoelit]
    Dude Offline
    Member

    Registered: 10/04/11
    Posts: 2856
    For assistance in both job finding and child care issues, I suggest you take advantage of military resources by reaching out to your command ombudsman and/or the Family Support Center (or whatever they call their equivalents in your DH's branch). They should be able to direct you to local resources that can help.

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    #206353 - 11/24/14 03:04 PM Re: Suspected gifted 4 year old...what do I do? [Re: kdoelit]
    ndw Offline
    Member

    Registered: 11/29/13
    Posts: 314
    Well done on finding some ways to meet your sons high energy needs.

    I am not in the USA but found this site which might help if you are US military. It has resources listed which may or may not be of use, including child care, education, spousal education and employment. I picked one page as an example.

    http://www.militaryfamily.org/get-info/military-kids/child-care/

    In our country we can register a gifted child under special needs for military purposes. It doesn't do much but can help on posting if you need to live in a certain school district etc.

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    #206355 - 11/24/14 04:41 PM Re: Suspected gifted 4 year old...what do I do? [Re: kdoelit]
    Mahagogo5 Offline
    Member

    Registered: 06/11/12
    Posts: 517
    I know a lot of people have referenced the SENG site. My I suggest you pay particular attention to the physical over excitability section. It sounds like your son needs a LOT of exercise and if the aggression is happening while he is doing gross motor activities this could be part of it. Martial arts may be of some help here.

    As for the tablet, we have one for DD4 and I would only recommend it if your child has a great amount of self regulation or can be told no. Sooooo addictive. Thankfully DD only asks for it every few weeks so we let her go for it, but really it would be a shame to have a child of any age relying on one as a coping mechanism. If it's mostly for while you were needing one on one time with another adult, maybe some apps on your phone would do the trick? Works for me.

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    #206362 - 11/24/14 09:47 PM Re: Suspected gifted 4 year old...what do I do? [Re: kdoelit]
    GGG Offline
    Member

    Registered: 09/16/13
    Posts: 185
    I've been following your post and I very much feel for you. We are in a similar boat, however my son is not as active. We also have a younger child as well. Once your younger child is a bit older, you won't be in such fear for their safety. As for ADHD, I have been reading a lot about it and you might want to read about how there are two basic types, one can have a combo of the two or predominitately one type. My son can focus for hours at a time so I always assumed he couldn't have ADHD but then I read about the impulsivity-hyperactivity type. His behavior goes in waves. For two months at a time during a cognitive leap period, his behavior is all consuming for us and our lives are captive to it. Then we'll get a week or two week break of fairly calm and compliant behavior.
    I hope you can get a professional who really listens and sees him in the whole picture. I, too, was waiting through the 2's, 3s....and now getting close to 4, I know that so much of this is who he is.
    We called the school district and they agreed to do a full eval so that will be done in a few months. I have had a very hard time getting any feedback from our pediatrician who just sees a very cognitively advanced boy, adorably having adult-like conversation with her. I feel grateful that the school psychologist is willing to do an evaluation.
    I thought I read somewhere that you said someone is responding to you as if your son must be "some hardened criminal". Don't worry about people on these forums judging you, you are in good company here. So many of us have gone through what you are now and or, in my case, going through something very similar. I have recieved more help in these forum than anywhere else. I am always amazed at how willing people are in helping me and I am grateful.

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    #206378 - 11/25/14 09:14 AM Re: Suspected gifted 4 year old...what do I do? [Re: kdoelit]
    kdoelit Offline
    Junior Member

    Registered: 11/19/14
    Posts: 32
    Thanks for the insight GGG:) Sounds like our children are very similar. It is so tough at these early ages to know what exactly we are dealing with! Hmmm...that sounds very similar to my son, the impulsivity/hyperactivity part but not so much the focus part. I do think my younger child being older and able to tell him to stop more will help. I feel like once she is over age 2 he will see her more as a peer who has thoughts/ideas and wants to play with him instead of just a baby...

    My son's behavior also comes in waves, we will have a couple of weeks of total all encompassing hell then randomly can have a week of great behavior. That is what has us scratching our heads, because he is never the same all the time. That is interesting that it may be during cognitive leaps. Thank you for suggesting this! I am hoping that during our appointment next week I can get a referral to a psychologist. That is good that your school will do one! I guess I just felt a little attacked earlier because I feel so judged by society in general about him...it's just hard to hear some of the possible negative sides to this. I do feel this forum has been incredibly helpful so far! I'm glad I am safe to talk here and in good company with those who know way more about this than anyone else.


    Yes I am going to work on the physical strengths like mentioned above. He even told me yesterday "I wish we lived on a farm Mommy, because then I would always have something to do...I could take care of all of the animals and lead horses around and work. That would be a lot of fun." He loves horses and farm animals...He just wants to be put to work all day...a farm would be great! too bad we can't find a small farm...seriously something to consider for our family in the future though. Like some property with a small amount of farm animals...We have considered that kind of lifestyle. I think he would be a totally different kid!

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    #206379 - 11/25/14 09:20 AM Re: Suspected gifted 4 year old...what do I do? [Re: kdoelit]
    kdoelit Offline
    Junior Member

    Registered: 11/19/14
    Posts: 32
    Some more positives...yesterday at his school he and another 4 year old boy played very well together all day. They pretended together, explored the nearby pond together looking for treasures. Rode bikes...worked in the classroom together on science...Since he is in a homeschool/unschooling environment this allows for this child led exploration with his peers and I think it is so healthy and good for him to have these positive experiences as opposed to a traditional classroom environment where I know he would be in trouble all day long and thought to feel stupid and possibly start to hate learning. Here he feels safe to develop at his pace with structure yet freedom. I like hearing about good days like this.

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    #206957 - 12/04/14 11:29 AM Re: Suspected gifted 4 year old...what do I do? [Re: kdoelit]
    kdoelit Offline
    Junior Member

    Registered: 11/19/14
    Posts: 32
    UPDATE***

    We went to the new doctor yesterday and it went amazingly well! This doc spent well over an hour in the room the entire time with us, picking everything apart and trying to figure out what he feels needs to be done from here. During that time, my son trashed the room and threw toys around, knocked magazines off the counter etc to try to get our attention. He did try to engage in conversations with the doc, and did play with some toys occasionally but otherwise kept saying "this is tooo boring, let's go." He sat in my lap for a little while also as long as I kept rocking him...I printed out a lengthy description of what was going on so we didn't have to say too much in front of him.

    The cool thing about this doc, who is a family practice doctor with special interest in children on the spectrum because he has a son who has aspergers and also happens to be gifted. I knew about his son having autism, I did not know about his son being gifted. Super cool! He told me that our son is exhibiting several different behaviors which are puzzling. He does show some aspergers like behaviors...the looping conversations always around to something HE wants to talk about...the repetitive nature of his discussions, perseveration on topics etc. He is very familiar with in his practice but also sees this in his own child. Also he said he shows some ADHD symptoms, but not all...ODD is on the radar but he feels that he is a happy go lucky friendly kind of kid that he does not think so, but wants to rule it out as well. He also feels that heavy metals may be in play here since we had a worsening of symptoms after vaccines at age 2...not opening that can of worms, but I truly believe something happened to him around this age when he began stuttering and wetting the bed after a month long vomiting/diarrhea episode...his behavior worsened from this point on. The doc is running a bunch of tests to check for candida overgrowth and heavy metals etc. which will be super interesting and helpful to find out.

    He did however state that he would not be surprised if our son was gifted or highly gifted and that he is obviously very intelligent, that is for sure...he said with the right teacher in the future they are going to have a blast with him. That was cool to hear him say!

    So we have a psych consult in the process of getting set up. They don't specifically test for giftedness just yet at this initial visit but they will be doing an informal interview to see what other professionals they need to pull in for the formal evaluation. I will be bringing up IQ testing and giftedness for sure. We at least will find out what other things we are dealing with...and if needed, I am sure this doctor won't mind sending us to someone who does specifically know how to test gifted children...He mentioned wanting IQ testing done as well. This is a starting point, just to get things rolling... Yay! I feel hopeful for some answers. Any advice on getting ready for the psych consult? It probably won't be until Feb. and they said it's a 3 step process...


    Edited by kdoelit (12/04/14 11:32 AM)

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    #206959 - 12/04/14 11:55 AM Re: Suspected gifted 4 year old...what do I do? [Re: kdoelit]
    indigo Offline
    Member

    Registered: 04/27/13
    Posts: 4957
    Thanks for sharing this update. So glad to hear the doctor is not at a loss and feels there are several diagnostic actions to take.

    Quote:
    I printed out a lengthy description of what was going on so we didn't have to say too much in front of him
    Sounds like an effective plan.

    Quote:
    looping conversations always around to something HE wants to talk about...the repetitive nature of his discussions, perseveration on topics
    Possibly your son is a politician! wink

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