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Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 314
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This is a really interesting topic. I was surprised that I didn't see something that I thought was obvious mentioned. This forum is part of the mentorship process for gifted parents no matter where they live or their economic status. I acknowledge there may be people who don't have Internet or have never heard of this forum but for those who do find their way here, there is a wealth of advice and support.
In particular, I kept thinking of the amazing work Aeh does offering technical advice. There is hours of work and a ton of expertise behind Aeh's replies and I am sure we are beyond appreciative for the time and thought that goes into them.
In many cases, depending on where you live, there may not be very many other kids and their parents that you know who are gifted so that can be hard. A support group would be nice but if there isn't the critical mass in your area that may not work.
I appreciate having this forum and I value the advice and conversations I find here. Not everything is relevant to me or my DD but is fascinating what can be learned and applied across many different situations.
The OP is right that it is good to have someone to ounce things off. The only person I know who has kids in a similar position to mine has a very different approach to many aspects of giftedness and that can be difficult.
Don't underestimate too, the work we do advocating for our children often leads to better experiences for those who follow. While not direct mentorship of poorer gifted students it is of benefit to others. We have donated money to gifted programs my DD has enjoyed to enable students who are less well off to also attend.
I guess we all do what we can given the limitations we may have.
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Joined: Feb 2013
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I was surprised that I didn't see something that I thought was obvious mentioned. This forum is part of the mentorship process for gifted parents no matter where they live or their economic status. This is an excellent point.
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Joined: Feb 2013
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Honestly, I am quite shocked at the unwillingness of parents to help other parents. ... It is disappointing to see people who would view this as a waste of their time. This is extremely offensive. How dare you.
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Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 848
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Original poster, I appreciate your sentiments, but also realize that many parents (even with money and means) are stretched just trying to manage the realities of parenting their own gifted children and may not be in a position to actively find others who need help. On the other hand, I know that many of us do offer advice when it seems appropriate (ex., I've sat next to parents at ballgames and learned they had a gifted child, then shared a great deal of information about nearby and online resources they weren't aware of previously).
Last edited by ConnectingDots; 10/31/14 10:45 AM.
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 2,856
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Well that makes more sense than a swarm of amateur volunteers travelling in the opposite direction to do one on one mentoring. I don't see where anyone made this suggestion.
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Joined: Feb 2013
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Well that makes more sense than a swarm of amateur volunteers travelling in the opposite direction to do one on one mentoring. I don't see where anyone made this suggestion. The OP is clearly talking about one on one mentoring. Obviously a large number of mentorees would then require a large number of mentors. Also the implication was that mentoree and mentor were living in different circumstances, and some travel would logically be needed if meeting face to face. Anyway one on one mentoring is a terrible idea. It's much better to benefit from the collective wisdom of a large group.
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Joined: Mar 2012
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perhaps you could use email, Skype, or FaceTime. OP, you have answered your own question. This is the age of the internet - a really poor and motivated gifted student just needs to get on google to reach an unlimited array of resources that were never heard of even 10 years ago. Just one example would be MIT Open Courseware. I met an underprivileged 14 year old recently who is a Python programming whizkid with plans to get into Stanford - all the coding and projects and mentoring he has received was done on the internet. There are public libraries and smart phones with internet access even to the poor people. So, the situation is not as sad as you think.
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Joined: Feb 2013
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5. I could go on all day, but my last one is-- don't eliminate GT programs. Instead, call them something else if needbe, but keep them in the lower performing schools at all costs. In our district, the gifted programs are only in the lower performing schools.
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Joined: Feb 2011
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I can't speak as to other posters' opinions, but I am not at this forum because I believe gifted children are unique. I think it is important to understand that this is a public forum with many intelligent posters who logically think through their life choices. Many of us may hold demanding professional jobs and dedicate many hours to our children and may also donate to charity and otherwise volunteer our time/services. It is perfectly reasonable to pick and choose our beneficiaries according to our personal scales of priority/efficiency/etc. For example, any assistance to one charity over another can be re-framed as a shocking unwillingness to help the other charity. Honestly, I am quite shocked at the unwillingness of parents to help other parents. Particularly regarding the assumed stereotypes. We are all at this forum because we believe that gifted children are unique. I asked this (somewhat hypothetical) question for 2 reasons. The first is that it really surprises me this type of mentoring is already not an option. The second reason is that I hope a seed can be planted should you meet other parents who may be in this situation or should you be involved in a group or advocacy which could embrace this idea.
My 13yr daughter is very bright, though not gifted. She also has hearing loss. Our school district has a completely voluntary program for hearing loss families. This program is entirely ran by parents. The only role of the school is they have a list of parents who have volunteered to mentor other parents. The school simply notifies new parents that the mentoring program exists & should they wish to receive this assistance, the school can provide contact info. This is the program I am familiar with but I have heard of other similar programs. It is very informal but it was invaluable when I had questions or needed advice. It gives us the ability to ask a parent of a child a few years older than her what we should expect. It provides us with parents who understand our concerns. It provides our children with an opportunity to relate to children who have "been there, done that".
You were correct that I left the framework open ended. I see the possibilities here as endless. If you honestly fear for your life meeting someone perhaps you could use email, Skype, or FaceTime. It is disappointing to see people who would view this as a waste of their time. In my experience the mentor program has been just as rewarding to the mentor family. Again, others may disagree, but in my nearly two decades of personal experience, parenting/advocating for a child with disabilities is different than for a 2E child and for a Gifted child. I also firmly believe that many of the regular posters on this forum already graciously answer questions and offer assistance when they are approached by other parents regarding 2E or gifted issues. There is also the efficiency factor. For example, last year I shared our approach with our disability advocate so she could help her other clients who were initially denied the disability services that I secured for my DS. In that case, it would have been impractical (a waste of time) for me to attempt to mentor those parents individually. The disability advocate immediately understood the nuances of my approach, was far more adept at simplifying the strategy to the unsophisticated parents, and had the established relationship to "push" them as appropriate.
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,640
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Anyway one on one mentoring is a terrible idea. It's much better to benefit from the collective wisdom of a large group. I'm no bleeding heart but recognize that there are, unfortunately, children who don't have parents who care much or who care but have no idea how to navigate the sometimes complex U.S. educational system, especially the college admissions system. I read newspaper articles about high school students who only find out in 12th grade that they ought to take the SAT if they want to attend a selective college. I am not planning to volunteer as a mentor, but I am glad there are people who do so. I hope that forums such as this, freely available to all, help youngsters who are not well advised by their parents, even if they browse but never join. There are various ways one can contribute, and different people will find different ways of contributing more satisfying.
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