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    Joined: Aug 2013
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    DS had similar traits and a few others that had me thinking ASD when he was younger but now that he's 8 he doesn't fit that at all. He is still introverted and will never go up and play with kids he doesn't know. He still keeps to himself at the park or if he's thrown in with a group he doesn't know well. However when he's around kids he's known for years he is fine. He is definitely better 1 on 1 rather than in a group (and as an introvert myself I totally get that). We have deliberately tried a few team sports since I know this helped me as a kid. It gave me kids that loved something and gave us something in common to talk about. It was easier than completely unstructured play for me.

    His dinosaur obsession has lasted for years (and he still will read more if we can find stuff that he doesn't already know). It got easier when he started to read and I wasn't his main source of info/entertainment. Now my main role is to find cool library books to pile beside his bed.

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    I had to respond because my DS9 had the car obsession too! I would say it lasted about 1.5 years. We would buy him car catalogs at the airport to keep him occupied on flights. Walking through a parking lot with him was hilarious, he'd shout out the make and model of each car we passed.

    He then moved on into dinosaurs and is currently obsessed with Minecraft and any kind of rocks and minerals. And the Periodic Table.

    At that age (3.5) we were a little worried for him socially, because he did not seem to relate to other kids, but now that he is older he really seems to integrate well into groups. He will always be introverted (as are his mom and dad) and needs to decompress after school for a while, and prefers smaller groups to large ones, but he also seems to have plenty of friends at school and little difficulty adjusting to new social circumstances. It seems like he has different "sets" of friends...ie, friends he plays sports with and acts goofy with, and friends he shares deeper interests with.

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    Thanks chay! Team sports is a good idea and something that would probably help him in other ways. The funny thing about not him not wanting to join into these playgroups is that he's NOT shy at all. He joins in with random kids at McDonald's, never cries when he goes to preschool, says hi to tons of people in the grocery store, etc etc. It is a LOT of kids at these events though, usually about 15 kids.

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    Hi Saritz! Yup, we read car magazines as well. He especially likes looking at the alloy wheel advertisements for whatever reason. Thanks for sharing how your son does socially, I think (hope) my son may end up similar. I've been surprised at how fearless he is as a small child because DH and I are pretty introverted and I'm a nervous nelly type. I think as the kids his age become more verbal things might sort themselves out a bit. I'm still planning to check in with his preschool teacher but I'm feeling a lot better after reading everyone's response.

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    So I met with DS's preschool teacher this morning just to check in with her about the social stuff. She said that he needs to be redirected back to the group activities A LOT which I guess is kinda what I see too. I don't think it has much to do with the activities being too easy because it's also games and things like that (and I've seen the same sort of thing).

    She did say that he pals up with one little boy to play trucks on the playground but that he doesn't want to join in with the other two boys that are more interested in Power Rangers (he has no idea what those are so I'm not super shocked). So I think it's more that he likes to share that activity than that he's playing exclusively with the boy (he does mention this boy a lot). She did say that she didn't think it was a concern and she isn't worried about him. Also confirmed that he's a smarty-pants and said that sometimes she asks him to stop answering things in class so that other kids have time to answer but that others she can tell he's the only one thinking through the answer to a question.

    So I'm not 100% sure what to do at this point but it seems like just watching and seeing how things go is probably a good idea. I may see if I can arrange some playdates with other kids one our school directory comes out. I do really like his teacher and his school and I think it's a good place for him right now.

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    Just jumping on the "us, too" band wagon. DS is car-obsessed (especially supercars and hypercars and oh my yes there is a difference). He cannot believe that I don't know how the specs differ on the Ferrari 458 versus the Ferrari 458 Speciale. Never mind the Bugatti Veyron versus the Bugatti Veyron Supersport.

    Over his almost-7 years, he has done this sort of deep dive with various thing (rocks/minerals, deep sea creatures, etc.). But cars really have some staying power. In general, wrt social stuff, he has minimal patience with kids who don't understand how very, very important [insert topic of interest] is. But he always manages to find his little tribe, and with cars it's easier than with some topics.

    When he was 3.5, one pre-school teacher suggested ASD. He's been assessed a couple times since then, and ASD is not his issue. But I'm glad we ruled it out.

    For fun - here are a few more great resources:

    1. Top Gear magazine. We get it at Barnes and Noble. At the back it lists specs and stats on many, many cars and includes various "Top 5" lists that are always fun as trivia games that Mom never wins.

    2. The Top Gear Show (available on Amazon Prime) is also great, great fun but can have a little bawdy humor sometimes. Edit to add - we've only watched the British version. I don't know if the US version is any fun. You can also watch snippets on youtube to get a flavor of it. DS is "The Stig" for Halloween this year.

    3. Dupont Exotic Cars Buyer's Guide. Hours of shopping fun!! http://gear.dupontregistry.com/p/546/exotic-car-buyers-guide-2015

    4. Race Car - Why Things DON'T Work - this is a great book for learning how cars work because the book follows the efforts to diagnose and fix why a race car is NOT working. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1410925552/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o03_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

    5. Name that Supercar on-line game. It works by flipping over one block of the car picture at a time and you get max points by naming with fewer blocks flipped. DS kills this game every time by flipping the headlight or tail light pictures. Sound familiar? http://www.kongregate.com/games/allpremiumgames/name-that-supercar

    6. Go racing - we are headed to a huge race next weekend. There is tons to see and learn, and the drivers and mechanics LOVE talking to kids about their passion. At a historic race event recently, my son got to sit in a multi-million dollar car and the grownups all around were groaning with envy!

    Enjoy the car obsession - it's great for learning math, science, engineering, currency conversion (Top Gear is all in pounds), design, you name it!

    Last edited by suevv; 10/21/14 11:48 AM.
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    Originally Posted by readermom123
    My social concerns are actually more when he's not in school. I've noticed that at playdates and social outings when there is a group of children, he seems to drift to the outside of the group and doesn't really want to join in or stay with the other kids.

    Does he want to join in but don't know how? Or he prefers to be playing alone?

    I am an introvert. Even as an adult, it's overwhelming to me when I am with someone who talks nonstop.

    It’s nothing wrong being an introvert, but I would try to guide your DS if he wants to join in.

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    You might look into a social skills group for him. Your child would work on the skills needed to enter a group, strike up a conversation, invite himself into a game, etc.

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    Thanks suevv! I'm loving reading about all these other car-obsessed little boys. smile

    DH and I actually LOVE Top Gear - I even enjoy it and I'm not that interested cars. DS likes some segments and not others - he's a little young for some of the dialog I think and he seems to prefer car repair shows. Thanks for the other resource ideas though, we'll be adding them to our lists for sure! I do agree that the car obsession is a great one for building on in terms of adding other skills.

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    I think he sometimes wants to join in but can't keep up with the rules but a lot of time he just wants to play with whatever he's interested in and just doesn't care if they join him or not. DH and I are both quite introverted and I've always been surprised at how social DS really is. Edited to add that I think he has a bit to him that's like my husband: he's pretty secure in his own mind, even if others aren't making the same decision. Appealing to peer pressure has never really been a consistent motivator for him.

    Yesterday was interesting because he was trying to join into a playdate that was happening (among some other families) at a museum we were visiting but then he was upset that a girl was trying to take away the toy he was playing with. I can't tell if I coached him correctly or not. I'm also not sure if I should be telling him to leave these groups alone or not. Sometimes I feel like I'm a little too socially awkward to be guiding him in these matters, ha.

    Last edited by readermom123; 10/23/14 06:32 AM.
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