Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments choosing primary school - thoughts?

Hi all,

Well I have just heard back from both the schools we are looking at for DD next year - year 0/1

The first school only has 130 students, very close to us and has a very multicultural and low socio economic group as it is not zoned. It has a great rep for disabled children but not really for gifted. When I rang the principal returned my call, invited us in for a tour, explained that although they don't have a GATE program per se, they do have several students who have been skipped immediately, and some who go to diff classes depending on need. They try to look out for each child, it has a very friendly community feel.

The 2nd school has a specified gate coordinator who rang back. No invitation to look around until 6 weeks prior to start, no GATE until end of year 2 (to see who has been pushed by mommy) although exceptional students might be re assigned if needed. Apparently their year 1 teachers are well trained in dealing with different needs.
After year 2 they have several enrichment programs and acceleration within the class. They don't skip. It has a good rep in the gifted community. When asked why I thought she was gifted I told her she was tested which didn't seem very exciting to them - I didn't bother with the result.



Where would you send a plus 99.9% perfectionist? She has her quirks and I get a feeling the smaller school might be a better choice in terms of a more caring environment. Having said that I'm sure she would cope fine in the other school. She is very much the type that withdraws entirely if she is not challenged and looks like she is in need of remedial work... I doubt very much she would stand out as "exceptional" and I worry what those first 2 years would be like.

Guess I'm just wondering if anyone had made a similar choice and had some feedback.

My inclination would be the first school, although I can make arguments for either. I suspect that the small size will help them get to know her quicker, and they sound more flexible.

Is this set in stone for all of elementary? Could you go to the small school for a year or two and then transfer to the other if the first one isn't working out?

I agree with ElizabethN. I am sure we can all argue each way but there is so much to be said for a school that is open and communicative (took your call, invited you in, honest about their offerings). I immediately felt more comfortable with this school. They also sound flexible and caring about each child, genuinely not just paying lip service. That is probably why they have a good reputation with disabled kids.

Close to home is always good for busy families and for making neighborhood friends.

Any school open to skipping kids has to be considered highly. Just because a GATE program exist doesn't mean it will serve your child. They come in so many different flavours. The more gifted your child is, often the more individual their needs and they can exceed the GATE programs offerings.

Schools with lots of programming can be great but they can also feel that what they have is enough and if it doesn't meet your child's needs they can be less likely to look outside the box.

When you wrote about the second school I heard a more rigid approach (no visits until 6 weeks before, no Immediate GT program and little interest in the specifics of your child eg re test scores). All those things make me read between the lines and make me hear the school say....we know best, we will decide what is good for your child and it will be instituted if and when we determine it is needed.

For that reason a flexible school offering acceleration as an option can be better than a rigid school with the purported promise of GATE. You might find that the flexible school has your child working at second grade or beyond very quickly where you could be twiddling your thumbs waiting for GATE to kick in at the second school.

One thing you might be worrying about is finding peers for your child. If that does become a problem then there are always extracurricular activities to expand peer relationships. My DD's best friend in grade 6 had an LD and was three years older but she was kind and caring and made a lovely friend.

As Elizabeth asks.....can you change later if you are unhappy?

hi yes - so far I'm thinking along the same lines re flexibility, it just seems silly that the "best" school immediately feels like the wrong option. We can change, but due to my education which involved 6 schools in 5 years I have some serious emotional projection to get over!!!!

I hear you. My DD had 6 school changes in 6 years but it's ok.

The 'best school' can be best for Others but not a good fit for you. 99.9 % won't be common anywhere so embrace flexible options.

Thanks - my changes were for parental reason not educational sooooo....
I keep forgetting that her result is not average - she seems so normal to me! It seems the better school wants the high achiever rather than the divergent thinker kwim?

To me, it sounds like school #1 does not need a GATE program because what they are already doing is even better. Treat the child as an individual, and move/skip them around as needed.

Our DD went to a private school that sounds like #1, and she thrived because of small class size, individualized curriculum, and a willingness to do whole grade acceleration.

Just my 2 cents.
--S.F.

My DD only changed once for educational reasons, otherwise it was because we had to move for work or family. She was very distressed over one of the moves but stuff happens in life unfortunately. She is ok now.

I had the same thought about school two looking for high achievers while school one was trying hard to help the individual. 99.9% is very unusual but within the family can look pretty normal. The more you meet her needs educationally, the more opportunity you will have to see how different it can be. I like Stephanie Tolan's "cheetah" analogy to demonstrate that point.

Don't forget how you feel about your relationship with the school too. You will have a bit to do with them advocating with your child....which one made you feel like they listened and would be responsive? It sounded like the first school was better at that to me.

Life changes and kids grow so don't worry if you need to change later, but maybe you won't except perhaps to look for a high school a lot sooner than you imagine!

Thanks all - yes I think we are going to go for the smaller school. It has brought up some interesting thoughts about parental ego and stuff for me. I don't mind admitting I was quite excited about her being enrolled in the better school and it certainly got some raised eyebrows when people found out it was an option. I've had to make sure that I'm choosing the school for the right reason.

It's so hard when you feel like you have the opportunity for something that is prized by others and you are turning it down. But a prize isn't much good if it isn't something you can use.

I wonder if the small school would be happy to let your DD spend some time in one of their classes with the teacher. You could see how she feels comfort wise, how you feel and maybe they could get a handle on your DD and give you some idea of how to accommodate her? They might be able to decide before the new school year which class/year would be the best fit.

Something to keep in mind, highly gifted children often start out ahead of their peers in academic skills, but whether they do or don't, they will usually move through the material faster. That is where real flexibility is needed, not just picking the right starting point but staying on top of accelerated needs and being willing to keep moving with the child.