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    Joined: Oct 2014
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    So - this is my first real post here. Wednesday we get the results from the psych assessment for DD(almost)8, with suspected LD. This is new territory for us. I’m leaping between elation at the idea of maybe finally getting some first hints of what’s going on, and terror that this may be just the first step down that long dark road of vagueness and zillions of assessments and still not being able to figure out how to help make life a little easier for the poor girl.

    OK, I admit it. I want a magic pill that makes her happy and enjoying school and life again. And having read hundreds of threads here, I know there isn’t one. But I can wish, can’t I?

    I’ve already learned so much from all of you wonderful BTDT parents. Any advice on this first de-brief? Questions you really wished you’d asked when trying to wrap your brain around those first assessment results, but were too stunned to formulate? Things we’d need to know coming out of this meeting in order to make intelligent choices about next steps? (I don’t yet know what tests were done other than the WISC-IV (which DD enjoyed), plus another 4 hours of other things (which she did not.))

    Our identifiable big challenges are focus, reading and writing. The kinds of descriptions that most resonate with what we see are: ADHD inattentive (big time), auditory processing, and - just for fun - an almost perfect match for SIlverman’s descriptions of visual-spatial learner problems with reading and writing… Some dyslexia descriptions ring bells (but they vary widely). Dysgraphia doesn’t fit well, despite writing being a huge problem. She may be just mild LD, or, as we increasingly suspect, more severe but 2E with some major compensating mechanisms.

    I realize this question is probably premature, but I thought I’d ask if there’s anything you think we should know before going in. I’m most grateful for your help!

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    I would be prepared to just listen to what is said, knowing that you can formulate questions and ask them later. I had tried to take DD for a psych assessment (he just did the WJ achievement, we already had WISC results, which I gave to him), and the WJ achievement showed gaps that I thought were very abnormal, but he dismissed them since everything was in the average range or above. I hope that the psych that you are seeing is experienced with 2e children. Good luck, and let us know how it goes.

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    Try to be positive and forget about it until Wednesday evening (i know it will not be easy but consciously push thoughts about it out of your mind when they crop up) as there are infinities of possible results and dx's :-)

    You are on the road to knowing more about your DC which is positive and taking a step in the right direction. Just take one step at a time...

    Last edited by madeinuk; 10/11/14 07:44 AM.

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    I agree with the listen advice above. Try to go in with a blank slate and really listen to what they say. After fully understanding their view you can then decide later if it agrees with what you see and know. You'll have lots of time later to figure out how to merge the views or think about what doesn't fit going forward but during the meeting just try to learn as much as you can about their view and what that means for your DD.

    If at all possible take someone with you (either a spouse or someone else that you can talk with after and have another opinion of what was actually said). DH and I attended the same meeting but each got different things out of it and both views have helped us going forward.

    As for what you need coming out of the meeting in ideally I'd look for a list of accommodations and modifications that will be put in her IEP. We were very fortunate to have an excellent report coming out and most of it showed up word for word in DS's IEP. It is evolving over time but at least it was a starting point.

    Hopefully the meeting will be a huge "aha" and help get you started making things better for her. At the same time, while knowing what we are dealing with was a HUGE eyeopener we're still fumbling along in a lot of ways and DS is constantly changing so we have to change as well. It is definitely more of a process than a destination for us but at least it feels like we have some direction rather than running around in circles smile

    Good luck!!!

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    Yep: listen first. Know that anything you hear in one of these feedbacks is not the end of the world.

    If they tell you things you don't understand, ask them for clarification. "Why do you think so? What did you see that made you think so? What exact skill did the test show as missing, and how do we remediate that?" are fine questions.

    Having someone else there to write things down is very handy.

    As Chay said, a list of accommodations/modifications should be in the report. If it's not specific, ask them to make it so.

    Also: ask them for a list of local resources. If something's going on, you should be leaving their office with pointers toward next steps.


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    I write down all the troubling behaviors/issues that have led us to seek an evaluation. Then after listening and discussing the results, I make sure I understand how the diagnosis addresses each of the issues we've struggled with, and that we have a strategy for moving forward on each.

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    All of the wonderful advice above smile

    Plus - don't try to over think it ahead of time. I've found with each of my initial neuropsych evals (one for my ds who turned out to be extremely 2e, another for my suspected LD dd who turned out to *not* have any challenges other than vision) - the results weren't at all what I expected. I knew that both kids were struggling, but my guesstimates re what the issues were were way off. It would have been impossible for me to put together a meaningful set of questions ahead of time.

    I went in, listened, and asked any questions I could think of at that time. Naturally I came home, thought over all the new info for a few days, and had tons more questions. That's totally normal and a-ok. Keep track of those new questions, ask them via email or phone call if you can, or if you have a ton of questions schedule a follow-up visit for an hour with the neuropsych where you can ask your specific questions. I've done this each time and it's been extremely helpful.

    I've also appreciated having my dh attend these meetings - it's really been true for us that each of us remembers and takes away different info and a slightly different perspective, which is really helpful. I'll be honest - my ds' first neuropsych eval left me shell-shocked. It was the first time I'd heard the word "disability" applied to one of my children. Please don't let what I just said scare you - it was just a very emotional thing and not something I'd ever expected to hear. BUT I can tell you that it's also not a horrible thing either - it's information, good information, and powerful information when you are advocating for your child. When we talk about his challenges as a disability today, I still see teachers etc who wince when the word is used, as if it's something horrible. It's not. It's a term that describes a challenge. It's a legal term that is necessary to receive accommodations in school. It is *not* and *never will be* WHO your child is - your child is going to be the same wonderful person full of potential that he/she was going into the evaluation. Coming out, you'll simply know more (hopefully a lot more) about how to help your child not be held back by his/her challenges.

    Also please let us know what you find out - you'll most likely find someone else here who's been down the same path who will be happy to help.

    Best wishes,

    polarbear

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    Wow. and Wow again. I’m wildly excited and thoroughly terrified, but with you guys at my back, I feel like I can handle this. You are all amazing.

    The suggested probing questions are right on target. I will also make a point of writing up a concise list beforehand of all the various flags and signals we’ve seen, so I can go back to them throughout the meeting - an excellent idea. I actually provided the psych with some notes pre-assessment - but they’re 6 pages long and need key points extracted to be useful for this.

    A very helpful exercise, by the way, for anyone who is reading this thread because they’re considering assessment. I spent about two weeks adding bits and pieces to that note as new thoughts occurred to me, and DH provided his own independent written observations of what he saw when reading with DD (while I agreed with everything he said, it turned out that I had mentioned virtually none of his points). Before writing these notes, we thought we knew what we wanted to say, and what the problems were - but the patterns and whole picture that came together from this exercise was a revelation. It made us realize there were much broader issues than we had been recognizing.

    The other important advice I have taken from reading many a thread here is PolarBear’s oft-repeated explanation of why it’s really important to understand the nature of the task required for each subtest, and to cluster and look for patterns there. I have seen from all of you that answers are rarely instant or easy, but that with perseverance we *can* make things better for our kids. And the path forward is often not what we think it will be.

    I think I’m getting maudlin. I will now go back to my post-Thanksgiving dinner glass of wine up here in the Great White North, and stop thinking about any of this until Wednesday, except for remembering that I am so not alone. Thank you.


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