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    xsantos Offline OP
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    Today MY DS7 asked me. Mommy is there any material that allow the air pass through but not water?
    I answered yes , some clothes
    He said thanks momy. Now my real question: If the water is in the gas state can go through that clothing?
    My answer was no : "Because it is still the same molekul: H20 and five second later ahhh!!! Maybe yes? Actually I dont know the answer Son.
    He looked at me with his very upset eyes and said Mommy whenever I asked you a question you always don't know the answer.
    My husband is dealing with him very well and It shows me more inedequate. His previous questions were one months ago and ended up as a kind of a new teory . I didnt understant alittle bit of what he talked about and I called my husband. He listened to him and told him that DS7, the things you are talking about, you have to write an acuation for that. and DS7 said but Dady 'I dont know math' and my husband said "precisely" and my son began to lough and said 'okey Dady'. The problem is that I am the person Who is always with him and
    I feel so stressfull. I know that he doesn't want to ask me any question. And this night He asked a phone from his father and as a reason he said that He needs to reach him any time he wants because He wants to ask question and I got more stressed but couldn;t say anything about it.

    Last edited by xsantos; 09/19/14 09:43 PM.
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    Sometimes when I do not know the answer to one of my daughters questions, I tell her that I do not know, and then let her see how I go about figuring it out. If I search the internet, look it up in a book, solve it mathematically, or ask somebody, it doesn't matter as long as I let her know that sometimes you need to work to get to the answer.

    I also try to let her refute my answers and try to disprove my answers. I very much try to praise her when she can to prove me wrong.

    Last edited by it_is_2day; 09/19/14 10:59 PM.
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    You've received great advice in the post above.

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    If the water is in the gas state can go through that clothing?
    My answer was no : "Because it is still the same molekul: H20 and five second later ahhh!!! Maybe yes?
    Yes, the water in the gas state can go through the fabric. You are correct. Steam is an example. Humidity is an example.

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    He looked at me with his very upset eyes and said Mommy whenever I asked you a question you always don't know the answer.
    Some may say this is a great opportunity to explain that different people know different things. There is so much knowledge that no one person can know everything. The value of a person does not depend upon who knows the most.

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    And this night He asked a phone from his father and as a reason he said that He needs to reach him any time he wants because He wants to ask question and I got more stressed but couldn;t say anything about it.
    For many families a phone may not be a priority or even a possibility for a child of seven years old. Some families may wish to have the child keep a notebook or dated journal for him to write the questions he comes up with. This might allow the family to consider his questions together, enjoying a conversation on these topics and planning resources for next steps to satisfy his curiosity and further his knowledge in an area. For example, locating a library book of science experiments about the states of water (gas, liquid, solid), and conducting some experiments at home. For math, have you considered Art of Problem Solving (AoPS)?

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    I wouldn't worry about it. My son asks me questions all the time that I can't answer. Here are some responses:

    1. Good question. I don't know the answer. How about you think about it for a while and let me know what you figure out?

    2. I am not sure about that. Why don't you write/draw about it in your journal and see if you can create a hypothesis.

    3. Maybe there is a documentary on Netflix you can watch on that topic.

    4. I have no clue. Next time we are at the library, let's see if we can find a book with the answer.

    I don't think having an adult ready with all the answers is necessarily best. I would not stress yourself over this. He can learn to learn things on his own.

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    xsantos Offline OP
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    Dear indigo, my son has refused to write since he was in kindergarden. I will check the website you send me. Thank you very much.
    Dear KJP, You are the coolest mom I have ever seen.I will memorize all the quick responds you send.I wonder what will he do sfter hearing them. I hope that he may want to be easy on me.
    Dear It is 2 day, I wanted to be a cool mom like you, but it didint go that way. When I answered him through checking internet in front of him, he stops asking any more questions about that at least to me. He may think that I am not qualify to answer his questions.When I answered him without his knowing I looked up the answers(I dit it twice )He gave me more inputs about that subject until I told him i dont know anymore and I suspected that " He was asking these question after he figured out the answers " and I dont know what does his motive.
    I know I have to learn to stop him to be rude to me at some point. I know it is not nice as a mom to think about like that about her son.I will use all these precious inputs and will figure out something will work for me.Thank you alot,






















    Last edited by xsantos; 09/20/14 03:46 AM.
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    my son has refused to write since he was in kindergarden.
    This may be a red flag. Has he been evaluated for dysgraphia? There are many sources of information available, to learn about dysgraphia. Here is one page of resources from the Davidson Database.

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    He may think that I am not qualify to answer his questions.
    Parents do not need to be qualified to answer our kids' questions, the next generation can learn more than what the parents have learned. Some may say the next generation NEEDS to learn more.

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    He was asking these question after he figured out the answers " and I dont know what does his motive.
    Kids may test their parents to see what they know. There was a game show on TV a few years ago called "Are you smarter than a 5th grader?" While it is an attention-getting title, even when the 5th grader outscored the adult, it was largely due to the test questions being items recently learned by the 5th grader and not readily recalled by the adult as they may not tend to be bits of knowledge utilized frequently; The adult has acquired much more knowledge in areas which were not quizzed on the TV show. It is often the same for parents: Children may revel in their new-found knowledge with each fact they learn and wish to know if their parents also have that knowledge.

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    I know I have to learn to stop him to be rude to me at some point.
    Immediately. Hopefully your husband will be glad to help with this. A person's character and resultant quality of interpersonal relationships may ultimately take them farther in life than their IQ or accumulated knowledge.

    While this may vary by family, some may say that simply observing that you do not know something, or noting than he has more interest or depth of knowledge in a topic than you may not be rudeness.

    However, treating you (or any other person) as though the person has worth only when they can be of assistance is rude.

    What does your son say or do to be rude? For example, does he:
    - Use a negative, condescending, or pejorative tone of voice?
    - Use demeaning body language, such as: roll his eyes, shake his head, smirk?
    - Ignore you, such as: refuse to look at you, withhold a response when you speak to him?

    Addressing specific behaviors may be a good starting point. Ongoing discussion of appropriate/acceptable responses and interactions may be of help. Children learning to demonstrate respect for parents, teachers, adults, and peers even when one may know more in a particular area than the parent/teacher/adult/peer is important.

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    xsantos Offline OP
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    I can't do this. I realized that He is freaking me out.Today, He was all day with me. He watched cartoons,played with his toys. I made a play date for him.after 2 pm We even went to Carnival. My husband came at 6 pm. We decided to go Barnes and noble and My husband was driving then Ds7 began to talk with him until we arived there.I realized that All they long when he was with me he was thinking. he wasnt with me hundered percentage. I did all the activities with half of him. His mind were somewehere else.My husband listened to him. I didn"t understand him and I took a note.He said' what are you doing mommy dont write what I said. I told that 'No I am not. I am mesaginig to your aunt" Between his talking He was asking my husband opinion " Am i right Dad? Do you want to add anything? Why did you oppose that? I can improve this listen.....bla bla bla. His ideas did not make me freaking out? I said him I am very proud of him. Really I am.The things make me freak out that when he was with me, He wasnt with me. I realized that most of the time He looked upset. Butwhen HE was with my husband. He was glooming. DS7 asked that did I understand him. I said mostly No. He said ohhhhhhhhhh Mommy.....My husband said "stop DS7 , I did not understand them completely either".So he stopd teasing me. When we went home I google my notes. there were noting about them. I goggle 'double sided universe; and other things my son said. there were not any information. He made up these words to explain his ideas and because of that he doesnt want me to take a note. I freaked out again. The school was trying to figure out him. they finished to evaluation. I took the papers from Board of Education .we will have a meeting this monday. according to papers He took Wechsler intelligent scale 4, some aspect He did %98 some part
    %99.9 and %50 some other and his Full scale IQ is btween 115 and 128 :))))).his processing speed low. At this point I am stuck and really really freak out.He doesnt want to write, he wants to learn but his way, his IQ score isnt enough even for gifted education in his school, He is daydreaming at school. He will be always problem student.Some teacher will understand him and some not.we will not be enough for him in the future. He may get depressed. Also,I am not even sure i am qualified to write here my concern or not?

    Last edited by xsantos; 09/21/14 06:27 AM.
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    He wasn't 100% with you because you weren't 100% with him. You were taking notes. Instead, actually participate in the conversation. When he asks something, reason it out aloud, look up the answer together, help him earn how to frame a question, evaluate sources (do I trust answers.com? No, I don't, but it might give me a better way to ask the question of a better source).

    No one knows everything, and if you try to give an impression of knowing everything you'll just look foolish. If your husband is trying to get your son to think he knows everything then he's both foolish and mean. Does he allow your son to be rude to him? Does he allow him to be rude to you? Do you and your husband both talk to your son in your native language?

    This is not a question of intelligence, it's a parenting question. Is it normal in your culture to allow kids to treat adults like this?

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    Quote
    I did all the activities with half of him. His mind were somewehere else.
    It is not unusual for a child to have some interests in common with one parent, and a different relationship with the other parent. Both relationships can be positive.

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    I goggle 'double sided universe; and other things my son said. there were not any information. He made up these words to explain his ideas and because of that he doesnt want me to take a note.
    Some may say he needs to find the vocabulary to explain his ideas. Your son conducting some research online (as others have mentioned) may be helpful. You and your husband may wish to make a plan together regarding computer access for your son.

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    I freaked out again.
    You may find solace and affirmation in reading books such as A Parent's Guide to Gifted Children and others from Great Potential Press, and free spirit publishing, Prufrock Press.

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    The school was trying to figure out him.
    A large discrepancy in scores may indicate a learning disability.
    - In some circumstances, GAI may be calculated.
    - A gifted child with a learning disability may be called twice exceptional (2e).
    - If this may apply to your child you may benefit by becoming familiar with wrightslaw and the book From Emotions to Advocacy.

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    we will have a meeting this monday.
    Will your husband attend this meeting with you?

    Tips for meeting prep have been posted on other threads but in case it is helpful, here is a brief summary:

    - Research state laws and the school or district policies and practices. This information is often found online. You may wish to print and put this in an advocacy ring binder to refer to over the years as the laws and policies/practices may change over time.
    - Have any test results and other pertinent facts available to share (milestones, reading lists, other accomplishments/achievements)
    - It is good to have them speak first. If asked to speak first, you may simply wish to thank everyone for attending and summarize that you are all here to share information and ideas about how to best meet your child's educational needs... and that you would like to hear from them.
    - Agenda
    - Know who is in the meeting, and their role(s)
    - Stay calm
    - Know what you are asking for
    - TAKE NOTES including Who-What-Where-When-Why-How of support services and/or differentiation, so you can summarize in an e-mail afterward [Some families announce they plan to record the meeting and then do so, rather than taking notes.]
    - Use active listening (rephrase what has been said, and put it in a question form) to clarify understanding
    - Be open to receiving the school's data/observations.
    - Listen to any proposals they may make, ask appropriate probing questions, such as how a proposal may work, how the proposal may help your child, the schedule/frequency of service delivery, etc
    - Do not be forced to make a decision if you need time
    - Summarize next steps & time frames, and/or need for a follow-up meeting
    - Thank everyone for their time & interest
    - After the meeting, write a summary (points of agreement, etc) and share it, possibly by e-mail

    Some resources which many families find helpful:
    1- Advocacy - Working with your child's school http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/Articles_id_10558.aspx
    2- Guidebook - Advocating for Exceptionally Gifted Young People, plus lists of other resources http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/browse_resources_165.aspx

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    I am not even sure i am qualified to write here my concern or not?
    Everyone is welcome here. Be sure your husband is up to date so he can be supportive with family dynamics, parenting, and advocacy.

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    My kids ask a lot of questions, often at inopportune times (like when we're trying to get out of the house). And many of those questions I either can't answer at all, or could only give an incomplete, possibly wrong, answer.

    Therefore, we keep a Question Box in our house. Anyone can write down a question and put it in the box. Periodically, usually during dinner, we'll open it up and pull out a few of the questions. Usually between me and my husband we'll be able to answer each question, at least partially, without a reference. Don't have time to answer? That's a question for the Question Box. Don't know the answer? That's a question for the Question Box. You get the idea. smile

    We also play a game at restaurants that involves asking each other factual questions. We encourage the kids to try to stump the parents, which they often do. We ask the kids questions relating to what they've been learning about recently. Sometimes the answer is easy, sometimes we are stumped. The rules are: no opinion questions (what is your favorite color?), and the questioner has to know the answer (or at least be pretty certain). Since we usually play this at the local Mexican restaurant, an additional rule is that you can't eat a chip until you've answered your question (this prevents us from gobbling all the chips!)

    This doesn't address the underlying problem between you and your son, but perhaps it can help. I never pretend to know all the answers, and neither does my husband (although he is much better at coming up with a response than I am). But I do love to find things out, look things up, and learn. I think it is much healthier to model learning and exploring, rather than model having complete knowledge of everything, which isn't possible.



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    I have a chicken and egg delimma with responding here. I don't know whether DS8 is a substantially different kid, or if my style has had an impact. But there are rarely free answers in our house unless it is purely an expedient thing. DS doesn't ask a lot of factual questions, and knows to take a first stab at something. This has its downsides as he doesn't want to be told things unless he's fresh to a topic (or it's spelling.)

    So, in the long run, I ask more questions than he does. He gives me answers to things he's wondered, and he gets praise in measure to the effort he put into it and has pride in it.


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    I am honest about it and say when I don't know. I then have my DD sit with me while we research information concerning the question in books/online and we draw conclusion from what we find together.

    No one knows everything I think that guiding her through the process to find things out for herself is way more important that giving her an answer.

    She needs to understand that adults aren't the source of all knowledge and that ultimately she needs to draw her own conclusions about whatever she sees, reads about or hears. As far as I am concerned education is about giving someone the tools and showing them how to use them- not regurgitating the dogma du jour.

    The old hand someone a fish or teach them how to fish...

    Last edited by madeinuk; 09/21/14 04:27 PM.

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    My DS4 is big-time into asking me questions he already knows some or all of the answer to. When he asks me that sort of question I respond with, "Well, what do you think?" and usually he will tell me whatever's been spinning in his head.

    I hope you have a productive meeting with the school, but if they don't have some good ideas about why his IQ scores have such vast variances, I would certainly seek out a specialist who can help you figure it out. With some scores at 99.9% and some at 50%, the full scale IQ probably isn't a true measure of his intelligence, and it would benefit him to find out if a learning disability it at play and what to do about it.

    Quote
    If your husband is trying to get your son to think he knows everything then he's both foolish and mean. Does he allow your son to be rude to him? Does he allow him to be rude to you? Do you and your husband both talk to your son in your native language?

    This is not a question of intelligence, it's a parenting question. Is it normal in your culture to allow kids to treat adults like this?

    These questions occurred to me, too. It is not healthy or wise for anyone in the family to allow one parent to be set up as "the smart one" and more worthy of respect. So I hope that's not the case. It's hard to tell from a post on a forum like this so maybe I am reading too much into it, but respect must be given by all parties in the family.

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    I would agree that the IQ testing is probably not a completely accurate picture of his abilities. In addition to the question of learning disabilities, his experience of English may be different from other children growing up in this country, as he is hearing multiple languages at home, and English from non-native speakers. It is likely that there are verbal concepts that he understands, for which he has made up his own terms, because he has not had as much exposure to the standard English terms. Or words that he knows only from reading, which he wouldn't recognize if said out loud.

    I do think also that the parenting relationship between you and your son is more important than the educational or giftedness questions. You have a lot to offer to him. Whatever his level of intelligence, you are still his mother, who loves him, takes care of him, comforts him when he is sad, and is there to teach him about life and how to be a good human being. You don't have to understand all of his ideas, or be able to answer all of his questions, but you can still show an interest in his thoughts by asking him to explain them, and writing down his questions to look up later. You can also demonstrate to him that there are different kinds of skills, and different contributions people make to a family. Even when you do household activities, you can explain what you are doing (also a way of showing him what explaining something looks like)--such as how and why one sorts laundry by fabric or color, how one selects or cuts vegetables to prepare a meal, the thought process that might have gone into decorating a room.

    I think it is very good that you have tried to enter into his interests, and feed his desire for knowledge in those areas, but it might provide some balance for him to see that you already have large stores of knowledge in some other areas, that might not have been particular interests to him, but are very useful for life.

    Finally, it may be worthwhile for you and your husband to sit down periodically, when your son is out of the house, or is asleep, to talk about how you feel, your concerns about meeting his needs intellectually, his attitude toward each of his parents, and how best to help him grow both academically, and as a respectful and compassionate human being. There are always challenges in parenting, and it is even harder when work schedules mean you are parenting separately much of the time.


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    . I took the papers from Board of Education .we will have a meeting this monday. according to papers He took Wechsler intelligent scale 4,

    Try to get a copy of the sub scores or make notes at your meeting today.

    There are people on this forum that can help you to decipher/better understand what the scores indicate about your child.


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    xsantos Offline OP
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    Dear Tallulah,
    I will try to explain myself little bit:))
    ""He wasn't 100% with you because you weren't 100% with him. You were taking notes.""
    Some times one day, some times one week or months DS7 is focusing the problem in his mind. Normaly I realized that but yesterday I didnt.I tought It was a beautiful mommy- son day but His mind was trying to solve smthg else and evening time when he began to talk my husband, I realized that his mind wasnt with me:)) I got frusturated.Because I want him to enjoy regular things. I want him to relax. i dont want him to attend activities like a robot.

    I do know basic physics.but I dont know Quantum physic and teory of realitivity (I can tell yoy what is a string teory, dark meter,anti meter but not like my son, I know the formula . Between Galileo and Einstein I can explain to you the history of sciene but thats it) My son knowledge is ahead of me in some areas in science , I needed a take notes because it was like a lecture.I am a note book girl.My husband even in college never used book and note book.but I did.

    DS7 doesnt want me to take notes.Because He was pretty sure that these ideas original. He wants to keep them for himself:))). After he watched Tesla's biography documentary,He began to think that way. He sees whole universe differently. he doesnt want my answer yesterday he didnt ask anything, He made a conclusion and he wanted support for his ideas which I cant, I am not a scientist.I really freaked out because he is only 7 years old and He will make radical changes if we continue support him in right way, he is completely different. He is not a bad kid, He is trying to cope with his differences and as a mommy I am his target :))).He can write but at PK, he got so mad to write same letters again and again and refused to write any more. Now He began to realize that His friends writing get improved but not his and Now i think He got panic and because of that he is refusing to write more . Parenting him is my life time challenge and sometimes I feel like I cant do this but thanks for this forum and you guys Every time I am getting back on track.The ideas you(all of you) gave I will use them wisely:))
    My husband never lets my son looks down on me, but I still feel inedequate because DS7 needs some direction at this point and I am stuck now. But just now :))



    Last edited by xsantos; 09/22/14 07:08 AM.
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    Have you considered the Young Scholar program for your son? Qualifications listed here.

    Also, as your son develops ideas you may wish to give future consideration to him applying for one of the Fellows Scholarships.

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    xsantos Offline OP
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    Dear Indigo,
    I will apply for the Fellow Scholarship but The 2014 Application Deadline has passed.I will wait for next year dead line
    For young schoolar program:
    DS7's school Scool tested him with Woodcock Johnson 3 NU test of achievement and these results are not enough to apply.
    Broad reading : 99 +2.35
    Broad Math : 87 +1.12(DS7 refused to participate)
    Broad written Lang:1 -2.46( He didnt write)
    Oral language: 45 -0.12
    Discrepancies :PR: 93 SD(or z):+1.51 significant at +or -150: yes interpretation: Above expected recall

    Weschler intelligent Scale
    Verbal comprehention: %95
    Smilarities 99.9
    Vocabulary 84
    comprehention 50
    My husband looked at it and said He got bored :))
    I looked at it and said "Learning disability" :)).
    Perseptual reasining Subtest Score : %96
    bloc design:98
    picture concepts: 84
    matrix reasoning:91
    Prosessing Speed : %16



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