Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Need some more advice/suggestions..

Every IEP meeting needs an administrator, usually from sped, a general ed teacher, and a special ed teacher. If it's an eligibility meeting, you should have the evaluators, or persons qualified to interpret their findings, usually a school psych. The administrator is the person who signs off on the proposed IEP, 504, or district refusal to act as the district representative. They generally run the meeting. The teachers are supposed to represent the perspectives of general and special ed in terms of expectations, support services, student performance, effective accommodations and strategies, etc. Sometimes multiple roles are combined in one person, usually the administrator with either the sped teacher or school psych role. On rarer occasions, the general and special ed teacher may be the same person if he or she us dually certified and in an inclusion setting.

Thanks for the replies. This is very helpful.

I have a follow up question or concern, and I am not sure how to address it. I hope someone can help me. So, my child has questioned the teacher about a topic in class. The teacher thinks that her authority is being undermined in front of the class, even if the child is right. I see the teacher's point, but I also see my child's point. She has apparently told him, "Do not fault others unless/until you are perfect". My child told me no one can ever be perfect, and his intention was to just point out what was missing. How do I help resolve this between teacher and child ? The teacher seems to be very authoritarian -- a style that unfortunately does not work well with my child.

Perhaps you can have a conversation with your child about the value of avoiding publicly-embarrassing people, especially those in authority (although I think it applies across-the-board). Just as you wouldn't start scolding him in front of all his friends, he may consider waiting until later to ask his teacher to clarify the difference between information he has received from her and information he has received from this other source. You can also talk about how people often are more able to understand and accept ideas if they work out the answer themselves, rather than having them told to them. Sometimes, when people are not given enough time to think quietly about an idea, their first response is to push it away, which often includes pushing the person suggesting the idea. It's almost a protective instinct, to avoid accidentally jumping into something harmful without knowing it.

This is a difficult position for a small child to be put into. My sense is that it is quite unlikely that the teacher will move from her position, as it is probably based more on fears and insecurities than on concerns open to rational argument. The second option, then, is to help your child begin to view the origins of this kind of behavior with compassion.

I love aeh's very wise advice about that. Really excellent set of skills...




hopefully with time, my DH can continue his learning in this particular area.

Probably posted here before, but I always remember my mom telling me my teacher complained in conference that I told her she was wrong in class. My mom's response to her was: "Well, were you?" Likely it was in math.

I still wonder how many kids give up on math, because of mistakes a teacher makes on the board. A kid close to grasping muliplication and the teacher writes: 72 x 13 = 926 and a kid gives up forever because their hypothesis is blown out of the water.

But that's math, it gets much fuzzier in softer areas or if it is about pointing out fringe cases or the sort of extra data that muddles it for others. I will say the perfection line creeps me a bit. When all else fails, a correction phrased as a curious question can work.

That was awesome.

aeh, thanks. I used your analogy, and told my kid that it is better not to correct someone publicly. I don't know how much has sunk in, and how he will react during situations like this. I have made a mental note to role-play this.

On the other hand, I sometimes think the teacher just needs to pick the most important battles, and fight those, instead of correcting his every little move. When we had our talk, she also told me that she is the ultimate authority in the classroom, and not some book/other people (apparently, my child said that he read something in some other book, or he discussed something with a docent in some other place etc). This makes me think this is obviously not the first time this has happened. I don't see a good resolution to this. The teacher thinks he is immature for disagreeing with her publicly.

Zen Scanner, that is awesome. I bet it made you feel good.

Right. Like why teach a kid to evaluate sources or think critically when you can just tell them to mindlessly follow whatever their teacher tells them even when it is obviously wrong.

I have to stop or I will really go off on a rant but goodness. People who think they are infallible are a menace to society.

How did you even manage to keep a straight face listening to this garbage?

ETA: I totally get kids need to be polite but the "I am always correct" mentality is unacceptable.

A good teacher would never say something like that. There are certainly some situations that warrant prompt correction, for example if the teacher writes "8+7=13" it is most helpful if a student points out the error and it is corrected promptly. The teacher might be embarassed, but they can turn it into a teachable moment.

There may be other situations when "correcting" a teacher is not so helpful, for example if it's a matter of opinion, or if the teacher is making an oversimplification of a topic that is appropriate for the audience within time constraints.