Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Asperger's syndome

I recently watched the very first episode of Parenthood, where the little boy has Asperger's. There was a moment that really resonated with me, when a classmate tells him hi and the boy completely ignores him. My dd does this all the time, I've seen it myself in the very same situation in school where I'm dropping her off at her cubby and a classmate will tell her hi, or say they like her dress or something and she flat out ignores them.

Dd has had social difficulties the past few years (she's in 3rd this year) and last year she said she feels invisible to her classmates. I've observed her behavior and it seems like situations like this hallway scenario, and other things she does gives kids the wrong message about her and could be contributing to her inability to form lasting friendships.

I think if she does have Asperger's she's probably found ways to adapt to fit in as she's not nearly as 'symptomatic' as she was a preschooler. Also, didn't they just change the diagnostic criteria for Autism/Asperger's making it harder for kids to be diagnosed?

I've tried talking to her teacher about my concerns but she doesn't seem to think there is a problem and that it could just be her giftedness. Her teacher and principal have gone to seminars for children with Asperger's and have said that the profile fits nearly every student in her HG class.

Is there anything I can do at home/school to help her socially?

My son does this all the time, but I think part of his giftedness is the ability to be of a singular intent. Also, there is a tendency to be less aware of the bigger space around. I think these factor strongly into stereotypes of a lack of common sense, the absent-minded professor, etc. However, he can read people, is sensitive, friendly, etc. Unless his mind is elsewhere.

Sometimes, I can remind him to be in the here and now. Personally I use things like analyzing people, wondering about what they are thinking, and such to keep my focus. We also talk about effort, intent, and interest. Like, "if you want more friends, you need to intentionally interact with people; be flexible in your interests; pay attention to them and not just your agenda; or the next thing you are about to do" etc.

Here's an interesting study discussing a strong correlation between intelligence and spatial suppression.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3702042/

I got in trouble at work once as an adult for not responding to a client who said "Hi" when passing me in the hall. I honestly never saw/heard the guy... was too busy thinking about solving his messy business problems.

My D is borderline Asperger's (have had testers tell me she probably is, and some say she isn't). I do know that I often have to provide her with very specific social scenarios and responses that wouldn't need to be explained to most people.

My DD is PG with Asperger's, dx under the new rules, and yes, she totally does that all the time. But that's just ONE social lapse and she also does a lot of other relatively clueless & Aspergersy stuff. (Poor eye contact, poor reciprocal conversation skills, obsessed with cats...) I do think there's often a fine line because other parents of very gifted kids I know were the people who were MOST skeptical about her dx because yeah, there seem to be a lot of weird behaviors that are common to both groups.

I don't know if it's harder to be diagnosed by DD was NOT dx during her big evaluation in Kindergarten, when she saw PhD clinicians at a University clinic. She was dx before 2nd by a neuropsychiatrist with a lot of experience with highly gifted children.

That said, if social lapses are affecting her ability to make or keep friends, it's still something you might want to pursue even if it IS common for HG kids.

I not only don't see or hear people but I have such poor facial recognition skills that when they do manage to get my attention i often can't recognise them out of context. I can remember heaps of details about someone just not their name or what they look like! She will just have to get good at sincere apologies and have a ready explanation people can accept - don't tell them you were wondering if the building would collapse in an earthquake, worrying about a test is better.

She has other signs in addition to this one, but I can't discern if they're caused by anxiety, introverted behavior, sensory.... etc. She just struggles with making friends. The only friends that work for her are if they're a couple of years older than her, or younger than her (so she can direct them). Her play style is pretty intense and kids her age aren't usually receptive to it.