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    #199919 09/03/14 11:02 AM
    Joined: Jun 2012
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    Melessa Offline OP
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    My ds7 started a new gifted school this year (3rd week). Came home saying he had friends the first week- yay! Second week, he was testing some authority/ boundaries and got in trouble a couple times. He is loving the 3 foreign languages they are learning!

    Some rumblings started last week into this week about him being stupid and not good at anything. (He's very all or nothing type kid) I realize he's still adjusting, but how long should phase last? Besides listening, I'm also wondering if there's anything I can do to help him process all this?

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    Hi Melessa,

    Just because I am currently hyper-sensitized to the topic - is there any reason to think your son could be 2e? The pattern you are describing fits my DS6 (almost 7) exactly, and he just was identified as dyslexic/dysgraphic and PG. Please disregard this comment if it doesn't fit your DS at all. But the pattern we are experiencing at school is so similar (not a gifted school though).

    Sue


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    A school counselor told me that it can take some children up to 3 full months to adjust to a new school.

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    I would try to figure out what he means by "stupid" or "not good at anything." Questions that are open ended like "what do you feel you aren't good enough at doing yet?" or "what's happening that makes you think you are stupid?"

    It's possible that he's experiencing more challenge and isn't used to it in an academic environment. We are seeing this with our DS (8) and cursive writing. He's down on himself and worried he won't ever do it right (he's been learning it for two weeks, but it isn't coming as fast as the rest of his academic pursuits).

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    My ds started a private gifted school last year and went through some of what you describe. He was in 5th grade. It probably took 3 months to hit his stride.

    It was an adjustment. Just hanging out with these kids all day was mentally exhausting. We just provided a soft place to land. Lots of snuggling and special stuff.


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    DD (now 9) arrived home in from school in second grade (then age 7) calling herself "stupid." Turns out that she was in "differentiated math" for the first time in her life, and my theory is, that for the first time in her life she saw some kids actually do some things faster than she did (she is not a phenomenal rote memorizer, and she actually had to put EFFORT into learning math facts, lol). She adapted, she learned her math facts, and is now excelling in math.

    DD can be subject to black and white thinking, as you describe. She was quite dramatic about it at the time, so it WAS worrisome. I am going to bet that having the new peers (and possibly some new expectations) require some adjustment on the part of your DS.

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    Melessa Offline OP
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    I do think ds is being challenged more and is more with peers. He was used to already knowing everything and "checking out" during school. I did ask him if he was tired after school or if his brain was tired. He said that his brain was getting stronger.

    Ok, the potential of 3 months gives me a timeframe to shoot for. I will try to ask some more open ended questions (I have to be stealthy with this as he won't answer if he knows).

    suevv- ds was assessed in k (now in 2nd) with a vision issue, a couple sensory issues, and poor fine motor skills. So, 2e ish. Now, vision better, fine motor better and accomadated at the school, sensory stuff under control mostly unless high stress.

    Thanks for all your thoughts! Much appreciated!

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    Yes, "stupid" in this case most likely means that he's found something he couldn't do right the first time he saw it. It may be the first time that's ever happened. smile

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    Melessa Offline OP
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    Portia- I'm hoping perspective will help him gain confidence.

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    Our ed psychologist said it can take up to two years! With our oldest we found he seemed like he had settled very quickly (much more quickly than his younger brother) but after the first year at his new school he decided he was done with it... its been a long road. Good luck.


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